The one about taking compliments

The other day at the gym, a guy was waiting in a hallway and casually glanced over at me and said, “Are you a model?” I laughed at the absurdity and said, “No. Nope, I’m not” and he said, “Well you sure are beautiful enough to be one.” I know this sounds like a pick up line. You’re probably picturing him cocking one eyebrow and giving the line with a half-smile, but that’s not at all how it happened. Somehow he made it sound like a genuine inquiry.

Then again while we were in Park City, Mike and I took a little break and left the boys with my mom and Jessie so we could stroll main street. A woman was walking the nearly deserted streets behind us with her young daughter and said to me, “Excuse me, you dropped this” and handed me a paper I’d put in my back pocket earlier. Then suddenly flustered, as if it were a shock to her she said, “wow, you’re really pretty” I smiled and thanked her, but immediately tried to figure out why the heck she would say that. What compels a person to voice such an opinion? I guess I just don’t have that in me. On the occasion that I see even the most attractive male, I would never feel obligated to tell him so. Especially not just your average good-looking guy. I figure if someone is attractive, they already know it. If I tell them so, it only sounds like a pick up line. So, I really don’t get it.

I used to get it a lot more when I was a younger lady and it’s a surprise every time. I don’t feel that my looks warrant such a strong vocal reaction from people. I’ve had a very conflicting history when it comes to my self confidence. At the tender age of 21, I had a boyfriend who tore me down and told me that I was plain. I was average, and nothing more. Nothing special or exotic about my looks -which is why I needed to be so appreciative to have such a “gorgeous boyfriend”. I would never do better and I should be grateful that a girl like me landed a guy like him. You’re told something enough times that you start to believe it. Of course it wasn’t just him- if that were the only source of the negative image then I’d just label him Grade A asshole and move on. I did that anyway but the point is, there were other periods in life when I felt the same way- as a middle schooler my mom tried to convince me that the other girls were just jealous and the guys were just afraid of rejection. I was almost never asked to dances all the way up through high school. On the complete opposite of the spectrum I had a guy follow me off a bus in Anchorage to tell me “I’m sorry, but I just had to tell you that you are STUNNING”. Stunning? Really? And you just had to? I wanted to ask him if he’d lived under a rock his whole life? No? Just Alaska. Same thing. I thanked him and he was on his way, embarrassed. How is a girl supposed to react when she goes from “plain and average looking” to being chased around the airport by a Weber State basketball player with his camera phone pointed at me yelling “Just one picture! I just have to prove to everyone that I saw the most beautiful TSA agent EVER!”

Good grief, no wonder my self-image is such a mess! I can’t get a consistent report!

Anyway- the point is, I’m flattered by the compliments- they’re just hard for me to take seriously. I want to make excuses for the person’s state of mind!