The one about reverse engineering.

There is a theory I learned at a conference I went to a few months ago.  The conference was called “Project Mom, Be a Better You”

One of the things I heard that day was about reverse engineering your children.  The theory goes- you envision the person you want your child to be and then you work backwards to now and from this point forward put in place the things that your child needs in order to become that person.  I’m not necessarily saying it’s occupationally related, I want my boys to choose that for themselves, but there are qualities that I want my boys to have as men. 

When I picture them 20 and 30 years from now I see respectable and dignified men who live fulfilling and happy lives. They are gentlemen who are charitable and compassionate. They know how to be a good friend.  They know how to make people laugh and they know how to capture the attention of a room full of people.  I want them to know and love success.  I want them to be humble and charming.   They will love trying new things and being adventurous.  They will take care of themselves and their families.  They will choose to do the right thing.  They will be there for each other always.

I could go on, but this is overwhelming already.  I mean, look at this list! The pressure! The stress! The expectations! The potential for failure! I’m thinking, this is a lot of pressure to put on myself! Maybe I should pare it down to my top three and work on those, that way there is less room to be disappointed and more opportunity to be pleasantly surprised.  I already have a big job just being their mommy and trying to get them through each week alive.  But we all know how important goals are and you’ll never accomplish anything if you don’t have them.  Also, we have all heard the rules about making goals.  SMART goals.  Specific, measureable, attainable, realistic and time-bound.  So here is my goal in writing: my SMART goal.  I will guide and mold my children to be gentlemen who have most or all of the qualities listed above.  I will test them and challenge them daily to provide the opportunity for them to make the right decisions and I will be patient and listen to them.  I will demonstrate how to be a good person, how to give from my heart, how to challenge myself and accept the reward.  I will laugh at their jokes and encourage humor. I will give them space to explore on their own but be available when they need me to catch them.  I will provide boundaries and rules for them to live by with dependable consequences. I will affirm their actions and tell them consistently how well they’re doing.

When they are adults I will be proud to check-off my list. 

It’s funny how, within moments of birth, parents experience that extreme amount of pride. They don’t even have to do anything- you’re just proud of them for existing!! If you don’t believe me, take a look at a brand new daddy and get some before and after measurements of his chest.

I know my boys will continue to make me proud!