The one about Reed's mis-communication

We were having a perfectly normal morning the other day.  The four of us getting started on breakfast and Reed was wondering around the kitchen.  Then he said to no one in particular, “I want some sex”.

Mike and I immediately looked at each other- both of our eyes wide in surprise! Both of us wondering where he heard that, because we have fallen victim to him repeating things we say at random times.  In my mind I kept thinking…  Did I say that in front of him? Why would I say that in front of him?!

So I said, “Reed, what did you just say?” he repeats, “I want some sex.” I said, “Who said that, Reed? Who said they want that?”

Then he looked at me like I was the funny one, and said, “Me. I’m hungry for some sex. Do you want some sex, Dad?  Mom, are you hungry for some sex?”

I told him it was none of his business. But really, now I’m beginning to wonder what he’s really saying.  Finally, he says, “I want some sex for breakfast!” and it clicks. Chex cereal.  He wanted some Chex for breakfast.

Decker is getting to be very affectionate. Not just “hold me” stuff, but he wants to dish out some hugs. Being on the receiving end of one of these purely Decker-initiated-hugs, is one of the best things. Especially when he gives a little pat on your back with his hand.

He’s toddling around the house like a champ these days and climbing the playgrounds like a big boy.  He wants to be involved with the other kids and do whatever Reed’s doing, too.

The funniest thing about Decker though, is his appetite. Even if he’s stuffed full and won’t eat another bite of his meal- as soon as you pick up something to eat, he wants it! And he throws a full-on-over-the-moon tantrum about it. That kid can scream! It’s mostly hilarious, sometimes annoying! 

The one about the Novel goal

You guys know I like to write… I write for you as frequently as I can. You can tell when I am enjoying it by how much fun it is to read.  You also know I have tons of free time (attempting sarcasm here), so – with that in mind, I announce that I’m going to start on my novel.  Actually start- like, pen to paper stuff.  I've officially started a writing journal with pages of character brainstorming, plot ideas and theme/symbolism ideas.  My goal is that in two years I will have a draft worthy of sending to a publisher.

In order to meet this goal, I’m going to put a lot of my free time into brainstorming and novel planning. I can’t give up reading though, which is why I am giving myself plenty of time, and what I think is a realistic goal.  I love to read novels and I can’t give that up if I want my creative brain in tip top shape.  Yesterday, I found myself swimming an unknown amount of laps as I considered my favorite plot ideas and let my imagination unravel on them.   What a great time to brainstorm!  I know now that I’ll master the multitasking I need to be able to take on this project.  How else can I fit this into my life?  I don’t want to give anything else up.  But, when I’m out there in my running shoes putting miles on the pavement, or underwater at the pool- I can escape into my land of fantasy and make the most of that time my brain has available.  The downside of course is the inability to take any notes, but I figure if it’s that great of an idea, I’m sure to remember it, right?

The other great thing I have going for me is that I have a great support group and an impressive amount of resources.  My husband for one- he’s wanted me to write a book for years and is excited about me starting.  Also, I have a book club that meets once a month, so I have creative minds and expert opinions to tap.  These ladies will also be very valuable as editors- if they don’t mind *grin*

The biggest problem I can see right now is not my busy schedule, or my lack of free time, or the commitment to a long term project, or the fear of failure or the fear of giving up… these are all minor concerns.  What worries me is how I’m going to narrow it all down and choose just one idea to focus on! My imagination has burst through the dam and flooded my mind with plots and characters and I can’t write them all! I just have to be confident that the right one will outshine the rest and just scream, “WRITE ME!”

Anyway, wish me luck! And hold me accountable. I want to really love this and enjoy the whole process, -don’t let me give up or get discouraged! I know, I’m giving you all a really big job *grin*

The one about Decker clapping and Reed's defiance

We feel like Decker finally hit his “super learning mode” and it’s been so fun!  He’s always been our happy little baby, just a ride-the-waves kind of guy.  But he seems really eager to participate in things and be a big boy lately.  Just the other day we were all hanging out on our bed and he decided he wanted to try to clap on his own. His little hands started moving –ever so slowly- towards each other and then away. His face was bright as a star! He just knew he was doing something amazing!  Then he started playing peek-a-boo and putting his hands up on his face in all the wrong places. One on his cheek, one on his ear- then he’d pull them away with a huge smile! Then his hands would go right back to his face- only a couple of times did they ever cover his eyes.  When he was done playing he turned himself around and scooted towards the edge of the bed backwards and dropped to the floor. We hadn’t realized that he’d picked up the proper way to get down from the bed, so there we go again cheering for Decker and how great he is! Once he was down and steady, he turned away from the bed and headed towards the bathroom door- he walked over there on his own, pushed the bathroom door open and kept walking a couple more steps before he plopped down to his butt.

Mike and I were just bursting with pride over the whole scene we had just witnessed.  It’s time to start treating him like the toddler he is and stop pretending he is a baby.  I drew it out as long as I could, knowing he’s my last baby, but I can’t hold him back forever.  He’s such a sweet boy and easily captures the hearts of all the ladies he meets.  Following in his brother’s footsteps I suppose.   My favorite thing to do is still to kiss his cheeks- second favorite thing is to ask him to dance.  He’s a happy little dancer.

Reed… is there a potty training class we can put him in? We’ve heard that you can’t rush them. You do your due diligence, but they have to be ready or else you’re just going to make it harder on yourself. I keep thinking that Reed is ready, but it’s a full on battle to get him into the bathroom most of the time.  I hate bringing it up because I know he’s going to throw himself on the floor screaming and crying. “No! I don’t want to go to the potty!!” The simple fact is, if we take him every hour or so, he will go just fine and can wear his big boy undies all day.  But, he will NOT go on his own accord. And also, once he’s in there it’s completely fine and it’s not a horrible experience. He just hates breaking from whatever he’s doing in order to use the potty.  Like he’s going to miss something.  So, I’ve tried to strategically take him in between activities or when we get home from outings… rather than pull him away from something.  That doesn’t work – but I believe we just have to stick with it. I don’t want potty training to be a horrible experience. I don’t want him to learn to hate the bathroom. We’ve tried many things to make it a fun place. Peeing on fruit loops, reading magazines, doing a maze puzzle, getting a sticker (or stamp, or tattoo) as a reward… everything works at first, but this kid needs variety. 

Today I was preparing their lunches and after I had them both eating, Reed said to me. “Don’t stand up! We’re having lunch- sit down and eat with us, dude! Sit down, dude!” One of the funnier things he’s said lately!  But he cracks me up on a daily basis with the things he comes up with.  He communicates so well and has very strong opinions. He often forgets to “talk nicely” and is very demanding. Hmmm. Last night Mike called him defiant and I told him that Reed was just like Mike was as a two year old and he said, “Yeah, that’s how I know he’s being defiant” Reed continues to do the exact things we tell him not to, while looking us straight in the eye. Or, as we’re telling him to stop doing something, he will keep doing it, but faster- as though his window of opportunity is about to close because we have to physically force him to stop. 

The one about San Diego

Mike and I ran away to San Diego together last weekend. “How could it be??!” you ask. Well a few months ago I started to get the itch, and I really wanted a weekend away with my lover. I started thinking about our 5year anniversary and how we got married over Memorial Day weekend. That’s not a good time to try to get away together and we didn’t really think that through when we planned it. How do you get a babysitter that weekend? It’s really more of a family type of holiday.  So I thought, why not celebrate the anniversary of getting engaged? Mike proposed on the beach of Coronodo Island, across from San Diego, California. It was no accident that he chose that spot.  He knew he wanted it to be a place where we would come back to visit over and over again.

So a plan was hatched and I started talking to my mom and sister about one of them possibly coming to stay with the boys while were away.  The problem with that, is that I don’t get to spend time with them- and that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Luckily, we stumbled into the information that Decker’s teacher and her husband do over-nights! Yay! She teaches in the baby room and has known Decker his whole life and her husband teaches in the 3 year old, which is right next door to Reed’s class. The fact that Reed knows everyone in that building because he’s a social bull (the more manly version of ‘social butterfly’ and more accurate description of my child).

So we arranged to pay them to bring our boys home after school Friday and stay the weekend. The greatest part is that while we missed them dearly, we didn’t worry at all.  Jessie and Nick were so entirely capable of handling our two terrorists. Not only that but they planned fun activities, took them to dinner, the science museum and drug the bouncehouse out to the backyard for them to enjoy during the sunny afternoons.

As soon as I got on the plane, I felt tension melt away from my muscles. My body relaxed in a way that I haven’t felt in, I don’t even remember when.

I smiled- but it felt as if my whole body was smiling. I knew all the way through that I was going to totally enjoy myself.  

Our room at the W was great- the enormous chalk board on the wall above the desk was a fun little perk. The only drawback was the lack of hot tub, they had an ourdoor pool that was nice, but too chilly for the evening hours.

We were staying right downtown so it was a piece of cake to walk down to Sea Port Village, the Gaslamp Quarter, and the awesome outdoor mall. My favorite? The bebe store! And more specifically, the bebe store SALE! I was in and out of the dressing room- they have amazing clothes that I love.  No matter what I try on, everything there looks great.  I walked out with 4 shirts- One short sleeve, one long sleeve, and two have only one sleeve.

We also ordered a large 3 piece photo wall art for the dining room, ate an amazing Indian Dinner of tiki masala, happy hour cocktails led to meeting up with a girl that we hung out with at that same bar 5 years ago (a great story itself), and enjoyed an AUTHENTIC Thai couples massage.

That needs some elaboration.

An authentic Thai massage, is not your average massage. First of all, we entered the room and I noticed the tables were twice the size of a normal massage table. I thought, wow, that’s going to make it hard for them to do their job- leaning way over like that. Secondly, the masseuse hands us each a pair of “Thai Pants” to wear. The illustrated instructions were hanging on the wall. We strip, tie on our Thai pants and prostrate.

It was immediately obvious why the massage table was so roomy. It was made for two. I’ve got my face in the hole and I feel her jump up on the table with me. “Well,” I thought to myself, “here we go. Might as well go all in, I’m already anteed up.”

The most difficult part was trying not to laugh. There were some points that I thought, “this is really happening to me.” She crawls onto me- on all fours so that her legs were on my legs and from knee to toes she was massaging my calves and lower legs. Her hands were working on my back.  If I could assign one word to a Thai massage, it would be “Multitasking” because there was always something going on in a couple different places. “Interactive” would also be pretty accurate.  She was pushing and pulling on my limbs to get me to stretch while she stuck a hand or foot into a muscle to massage it (the pants were very handy)- she was climbing all over the place, standing, squatting, moving all around to get each area. The grand finale was me doing a backbend over-top of her with her knees in my back.

When the women left, and we were alone, Mike’s face looked like Christmas morning. He wanted to go back every day (though we didn’t.)

Saturday was a 6 mile run along the coast and through town after a breakfast at Ron Walker’s Pancake House (A+!) and then lunch at pizza by the slice at the mall. I wanted Thai, Mike wanted fine Italian so we thought we could “tide ourselves over” till we decided on a better restaurant. We were looking out the window and Mike commented on how much the scenery changed from the day before- it was the people. Friday the crowds were all attractive faces, nice clothes and nice bodies. Saturday it was like they unlocked the cages and left them open overnight. Anyway, just an observance. One of those mysteries that make you scratch your head a little and then move on.

I happen to notice the guy two tables behind Mike. From the back, he looked like someone we knew- from the side profile, I was almost certain so I called out, “Jeremy??”

He turns around.

Mike turns around.

He jumps up.

Mike jumps up.

They start hugging- hugs all around for everyone and a whole lot of, “what are you doing here!!” and “I can’t believe this! What a coincidence!”

We had a great visit with him and got to catch up on his family (two kiddos as well) and our friends in Salt Lake.
Jeremy and Mike were great friends (are?) you know what distance and time will do. It was great to see him. The boys used to swim together every day, both runners and lovers of pizza.  We had many meals with Jeremy, including Mike and I’s first date at the Bayou in Salt Lake. I remember Mike telling me later that Jeremy had commented to him after first meeting me, that it was good that I didn’t have fat arms. Hehe. I guess I agree?

We had the driver take us to Coronado Island and we took our pictures on the beach- it was cloudy and chilly but we enjoyed the sentiment. After Mike proposed to me 5 years ago, it started to rain so we ducked into a wine store on the main street and bought our first bottle of wine as an engaged couple.  The same wine store was there and offering wine tastings, so we settled into our space in the tasting room and thoroughly enjoyed the sage cheese that they paired with the whites. I’m not a fan of white wine, but that cheese could sway me!

After a stop at cold stone for ice-cream we hopped the ferry and watched the dazzling lights of the San Diego skyline illuminate the night sky.

By the next morning, my feet were screaming at me. I felt like the guy in that song that walked five thousand miles… so after breakfast I took a dip in the pool and spent my last 20 San Diegan minutes kicking around the water in my bikini at 9am.

Our flight left at 11am but we didn’t get home until 7pm (changed planes and time zones during the trip)

We were happy to spend a weekend looking into each other’s eyes- focused on ourselves and concentrating on love.  We were able to run together, eat together and… stuff.  It was just wonderful and special to escape, but we were sure happy to scoop our little guys up and feel their bodies in our arms again!

The one about Decker turning one!

Yes, Christmas was a big deal this year because Decker was almost one and Reed was over 2. They loved making a mess out of the gifts, wouldn't stay on task with the opening of the presents and made the whole ordeal chaotic to say the least.  They are two funny boys, that's for sure.
Reed memorizes anything you tell him and fixates on the most obscure things. He can rattle off his birthday and Decker's birthday, too. He knows almost half the states on a map of the US and lyrics to countless songs both children's genre and non.  Decker has the temper of a pin-less grenade. Things that can really tick him off include: avoiding him (walking away when he is headed straight for me), removing an item from his path that he has set his sights on, taking a dangerous item from his hands or mouth that he has committed his heart to. These are sure fire ways to make him scream like a banshee and demonstrate a full body seizure.  We thought Reed was our "Strong Willed Child" (he exhibits all the classic signs: doesn't respond to discipline, constantly tests boundaries, repeats bad behavior, doesn't "listen" or "obey") and was the inspiration to my purchase of a book that helps us parent a "Strong Willed Child". But Decker is an early bloomer in this field. He has reached "Strong Willed Child" status in record time.
God has dealt me quite the hand here, and I can't help but toss a skeptical glance upwards. I rank dangerously low on the scale of patience (confirmed by a recent personality assessment I completed at work). However, the love I have for these two terrorists, and my responsibility to them and what will become of them, gives me hope that I can do well.

Decker is one and I have found a whole new meaning to birthdays. Becoming a parent makes each birthday an anniversary of a miracle, and you just don't realize that when you're passing the years blowing out candles and stringing together wishes of true love and world peace.
Since we are officially done having kids... each of Decker's "firsts" is also a "last".  The first time he pulled up, would be the last time we would celebrate our baby pulling up for the first time. Lucky for us he's stringing them out. Where Reed was so advanced, Decker is taking his time. He's not a walker yet, he's still a cruiser. He takes a few running/falling steps. It is hilarious that he's not cautious or afraid of walking. It's not that he doesn't want to or is scared, it's just that he physically lacks the balance to do it. We are very proud that our boys aren't afraid of much.  He'll let go of the ottoman to walk to me and do a face plant, sit himself up without crying and then just crawl to me.
He babbles but has no words besides "mama, dada". The closest thing, which I think is absolutely adorable is "Happy Birthday". He enjoys the song so much that he lights up and tries to mimic the sounds as it's being sung.  It comes out like "Hap-a-bububub" and he thinks he's pretty cute, too. How unique for a first, right?

His birthday was a success and a big hit, to boot. We had a great turn-out and lots of their friends were able to make it.  For the theme we went with Race Cars- in black and blue colors.  I had black and white checkered banners, blue and black streamers, black and white checker-flag balloons, and matching water bottle labels with the word "FUEL" printed on them. Mike built an amazing ramp for their hotwheels and thoroughly impressed all of our adult friends just as much as their kids. We held it in our neighborhood clubhouse, like we did for Reed's first birthday and it is a great space for kids because there's nothing of mine that they can break or get into! Yay!
Decker loved his cake. He planted his hands on each side of his tray and just dipped his face down to get mouthfuls of frosting. Steady, and calm, he literally "dove right in". In the end he was covered in frosting and we had to remove his birthday shirt that I made for his special day.  It had ONE in white block letters and DECK across the back. I did checkered epaulets on the shoulders, too, complete with black buttons.

The one about the big loss

It has been a long time since I've sat down to write. One obvious excuse is how busy the holidays are, there seems to be plenty of things to keep me busy during every nap of every day.  Even when I did have time to sit and put some words down, I was afraid of what thoughts I might share before I’m ready to express what I’m feeling.  I like my blog to be honest and true, with no diversions or evasions. The holidays had a dark cloud over them this year.  Losing my father in law was such a life-altering blow.  He was essential to our lives, our futures, our plans. Dealing with it has been so difficult for us, and since this is my blog, I can say – It’s been difficult for me.  Even though I was only his daughter in law and even though I've only known him seven wonderful years, it hit me really hard.  I've had an internal battle about how much “right” I have to grieve over him.  I didn't have a solid father figure growing up, but I married into one and I felt like that was God’s way of making it up to me. I get to experience what it’s like to have a great dad- and just in time, a Grandfather to my boys! Even better! The anger set in almost immediately.  I've been robbed. My husband has been robbed. My sons have been robbed.  If this is God’s plan, I can’t see how this could be for the better. In what way is the world now a better place? A man who radiated God’s gifts, strong and masculine, committed and principled, loving and fun.  A man who is so well balanced that he touched the lives of virtually everyone who knew him.  I've got a list a mile long of people that the world could do without.  Get rid of them to make the world a better place. I've got 5 people I would trade to have Danny back.  No questions asked.

My friend Cassie said she wouldn't wish that loss on anyone. I would if it meant I could do the trade. My brother says God is selfish and wanted Danny with him.  If he was so selfish, he would leave Danny here with us to ensure more men (namely his sons and grandsons and great-grandsons) would follow the path to heaven.

I know everyone grieves differently.  I wish I could just be sad, but I’m angry.  It’s unfair.  Nothing about it is right. It’s been over a month and I still get angry when I think about it. I have regret. I regret time I wasted while he was still here. I regret not draining him of his wisdom by asking his opinions on certain things or getting more of his advice.  I regret not giving him a great big hug the last time I saw him… I was distracted about our road trip home and gave him one of those one-armed, half-hugs. I regret not taking videos of him reading books to the boys, or bouncing them on his knee singing the “horses going to town-spilling the buttermilk” song.  

Danny was a substantial man. I mean, he was a bid dude, but also such a strong force. It’s hard to believe that he’s not in this world anymore.  Danny was the kind of guy that could make you feel so special.  If he loved you, then you were the bees knees. And the funny part is, he was so accepting and sure loved a lot of people!

It always sounds so cheesy when people talk about how short life is. Or about how you have to hug and kiss your loved ones because they could be gone the next day.  It all sounds cheesy until someone you love is taken from you.  Until you’re feeling the pain of the loss and you can’t find the words to express it that aren’t cheesy.

If you think there’s time later to get healthy, to lose weight, to quit poisoning yourself, please stop. Your health is the most important thing you can take into your own hands. For the sake of your loved ones (which includes me, if you’re reading this) start now, as in, yesterday. Thanks.

The one about jokesters

My boys make me laugh so much! Decker is learning to copy things we do and say.  Mike’s been working on nodding yes and shaking head back and forth for no.  Decker is very enthusiastic about shaking his head no.  He crawls around the house shaking his head, which makes him fall over or run into things.  Recently Mike was holding him, and he said to Decker, “Decker, is that your mommy?” and Decker started wagging his head back and forth so enthusiastically that he almost flung himself out of Mike’s arms.  Mike and I laughed because it seems Decker is already a jokester! I don’t know why they get such a kick out of giving the wrong answer- Reed is the same way.  His favorite movie is Tangled (yes it’s a Disney princess movie, but I just like to think he likes pretty girls) so he loves talking about Flynn Rider and reciting lines from the movie.  

I can say to Reed, “Rapunzel! Let down your…”  and Reed will choose any random object he can come up with.  Some responses I’ve heard are: feet, chapstick, teddybear, nose, shoes, fruit snacks.  The first time he decided to choose something other than hair, he laughed hysterically at himself.  I regret that I don’t have a video of that!

I love listening to Decker babble.  He’s working on his syllables and while we were in Indiana he actually used the sounds, “mama” in reference to me.  I’m pretty sure.  Or at least, that’s what we are going with.  Since Reed said Dada first, I’m sticking with the story that Decker said Mama first.  He has this hilarious faces, too. He scrunches his face and smiles and then suddenly drops it back to a serious look.  The two little bottom teeth make all of his expressions that much more adorable.

Reed is working on the calendar days of the week and on his states.  I ask him every morning, “Reed, do you know what today is?  It’s Tuesday! What do we do on Tuesdays?” Or some variation of that.  So he knows what days he has school and knows his basic routine.  We put a calendar on the fridge to talk about the days of the week and cross them off either at night or in the morning.  I think this has really been helping.  We also talk to him about where our family lives.  He knows that Grams lives in Wyoming, Grandma and Papa live in Indiana, Uncle Coy lives in Arizona, Uncle Clark lives in Utah, Foust house is in Missouri, Matt and Josie are in Colorado, and eskimos live in Alaska.  Not only that, but he can identify the states on the map.  Its easier for him to remember if he can relate it to where someone lives, but he also just likes to point and ask what other states are and then remembers them.  He knows 13 states and is working up. 

Yesterday, Decker sent himself down a tunnel slide at the park.  I like to take them to different parks and playgrounds around the city and let them explore.  Decker is hard to put down anywhere because anything he touches had to end up in his mouth.  If it’s a park with mulch, he wants to chew the wood.  What’s nice is that now I can put him up on the playground and let him crawl on it.  Luckily this was a toddler size tunnel slide, but it still shocked me!  I thought he was just checking it out, but he crawled right in there and down he went.

I love that my boys are so fearless, but I do wish they had some semblance of risk assessment.  A pause for consideration before doing something that could cause the loss of and eye, or paralysis.  Is that so much to ask? 

The one about Thanksgiving (mostly)

Where have we been? I know, it's been a while since I've written and it's not for lack of excitement or things to write about, that's for sure.  We have been busy- the holiday season is upon us which means travel, parties, decorating and narrating and explaining everything that's going on to the boys.  Reed is excited to look at Christmas lights and Christmas trees displayed everywhere we go- we don't have ours yet so I have asked him, "Reed, do you want to have a Christmas tree at our house?" He replies, "Yes! I DO!!"  This extra "I do" or "Yes, I am" (are you happy, are you hungry, etc) is really cute and new to us.  He has begun to understand so much more and he's able to explain his thoughts and feelings more now, too.  He tells us when he wants things, "I want some cold milk." and will rephrase when we ask him to ask us nicely, "Can I have some cold milk, please, mommy?"
Yes, we are continuously trying to instill good manners and talk about what good manners are and are not. 
We took our big road trip to Indianapolis for Thanksgiving, which Mike and I had a lot of anxiety over.  We tried to make sure we were prepared for every bout of boredom and every snack craving.  The truck was packed with goodies from books to games, cheese cubes to fruit snacks.  We were very pleased with how well Reed and Decker handled the trip.  We stopped in St Louis each way in order to break up the 12 hour drive.  Spending the night with the Fousts was more than an excellent break - it was entertainment! 
We had such a great trip, made lots of memories and realized how lucky we are that the boys have cousins that they will enjoy playing with for their whole lives. 
Reed became attached to Luke and Kyle, calling them "cousits" rather than cousins. I think more than their company- he enjoyed the toys that accompanied them. 
Decker is still the baby of the group and is the only one still taking a bottle and snuggling up on the couch for it.  Connie wasn't one to pass up the opportunity to give her grand baby a bottle either.  She was well aware that each one could be the last- at 10 and a half months, Decker will be giving it up and switching to cups in just a month and a half- unbelievable!
Reed's brain is always working- we just have to stay ahead of him to keep him learning things that are worth-while! 
He's also very aware of emotions and points out when "mommy is upset" or if I'm sad.  Which are emotions I use when he's in trouble and did something he wasn't supposed to.  Reed is two, which means he will continue to do something that you told him to stop doing, while looking you in the eye.  He also will stubbornly not do something that you asked him to do - again, while looking you in the eye. Or he will go back to doing something that you warned him not to do again.  I switch back and forth between being angry and upset, to being sad.  Trying to see which emotion he reacts to best.  
But the other day, after he was banging Grandma's remote against the glass end-table, we went to the room to talk about it in private. I explained to him that I was very sad and disappointed that he was doing something he knew was bad. After I said, "Reed... mommy is just very sad right now." He put his hand on my cheek, tilted his head to the side and said, "you okay, babe?" It took every ounce of my self control not to smile at his adorable face, but I hung my head and said, "I will be, Reed. I will be."

The one about imagination

Reed has an amazing imagination. I know that shouldn't be a huge surprise because children are supposed to have great imaginations, otherwise parents would have been throwing away all their large boxes and not being forced to keep them around the house for weeks while they change from castles, to race cars, to rocket ships.  I just think he’s starting this a little early!  He’s just over two years old, at 25 months my son was holding up popcorn and telling me, “it’s a bug!” and the next piece, “ It’s a helicopter!”  Today at lunch he bit a slice of hotdog in half, and held it up, “It’s a rainbow.  In the sky!”

It’s become one of his favorite games, to tell me what things look like. He could do a Rorschach test right now! I wonder what the inkblots for toddlers would look like. Perhaps bugs, helicopters and rainbows! If I’m lucky.

Reed could have an entire conversation with you.  When we came in from the car today he realized he was missing a shoe and said, “Where’s your other shoe? Is it in the car? Oh no! We have to go get it!” and headed straight to the garage! (He is still working on his I, me, mys and yous and yours).  Each word is perfectly pronounced but with such fake animation! Something he definitely picked up from the way he is spoken to by adults!!

Decker is finally sleeping in his crib in the room with Reed.  At nine and a half months, he’s more predictable about his bedtime and overnight routine and is falling asleep on his own.  The other factor was always Reed, too.  It just had to all match up just right for them to be able to sleep in the same room together. The pack ‘n play in the office has been Decker’s main slumber spot and it’s bothered Mike for quite some time.  He’s been saying, “We have to either get him moved in with Reed or get him his own room.  We can’t keep treating him like some kind of step-child!” You know, even though he looks like one.  I agree, but I don’t want to give up another room in the house to give him his own bedroom.  Plus, I couldn’t deprive them of the opportunity to experience that closeness they’ll get from sharing a room with their brother.

The one about Reed singing

Reed started singing with me a couple of weeks ago. I’d start each line of a song and he would finish it.  The first song was “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and then ABCs.  I’d say “Twinkle Twinkle Little… “ he would finish, “Star!” and so on.  It was so cute and Mike and I were very impressed.  One night we were driving home in the truck and Mike said, “He’ll be singing that song all on his own before Thanksgiving!”  He was looking forward to Reed singing for his parents in Indiana.  I thought to myself, “He’ll be singing it by the time your mom gets here next week!!”  The very next morning as Mike was changing Reed’s diaper, I froze suddenly as  I listened to Reed start the song on his own and continue to go through each line.  Not wanting to distract him, I just stood there waiting for the end of the song. I caught Mike’s eye, who hadn’t even realized what was happening yet, and gave him my excited look.  Then Mike was aware of it and we both waited till the final line before bursting into praise for Reed.  “YAY!! That was sooo good Reed! You sang it all by yourself! You’re amazing!”  He stood there looking at us with this tentative smile, not really sure what we were so excited about.  It was like he was thinking, ‘wow- you guys are so easy to impress. That’s all I had to do?’ As if he didn’t already know this about us.

He now also sings the full ABCs, Ring around the Rosie, Jesus Loves Me, and most of Itsy Bitsy Spider.  My favorite though is “Hey Hey we’re the Monkeys”.  I have yet to catch it on video- but stay tuned. It’s worth the wait!  He has a rapt audience in Decker, who looks at him and watches in awe. Mike and I can only shake our heads - it begins already.  Idolizing his brother!

Reed loves when I make up songs just for him.  There’s a rap that I invented when he asked for a “Fridge Song” it goes like this:

I open the fridge, and what do I see?

A big Jug of milk is staring at me

So I pour it in a cup

And drink it all up

This is the fridge song, I say what’s up.

I sing it for Reed, I sing it for Reed, this is the Fridge Song, I sing it for Reed!

I know. You don’t have to tell me. I’m a pretty big dork.  Just wait till you hear the song I made up in response to Reed’s request for a “wall song, door song, and window song”.

The one about Decker being my pet

Can you believe Decker is going to be 9 months old on Tuesday? Maybe you can, but it's hard for me accept.  My family is made up of a handsome husband a charming toddler and a sweet baby, isn't it? Well, some days I actually feel like I have one child and one pet. Reed sings songs, asks for snacks, brushes his teeth, kicks balls and "reads" books.  Decker mostly crawls around the house at varying speeds and hangs around my feet when I'm in the kitchen making dinner or washing dishes.  I'm constantly tripping over him or shuffling around him while he pulls at my pants and tries to use me as a support to stand.  I'll reach down and pat him on the head and give him a cheerio if he's a good boy (joke!).  On top of that, Reed is relentlessly trying to "ride" Decker, no matter how much we discourage him.  

So, Decker is now in what I like to refer to as the "pet" stage. I remember this stage with Reed and it very quickly turns in to toddler stage, but not before it looks a lot like a "circus dog" stage (minus the pointy hat and tutu). Watching them learn to walk is so comical and yet so wonderfully exciting and fulfilling!

Decker's coordination is really improving and he's pulling up easily and quickly, but also turning and lowering himself gracefully... most of the time. There are a lot of tumbles when it involves a moving support object like the rocking chair or Reed. 

He has his brand new teeth to show off, both my boys waited till the nearly 8 month mark to get any but now Decker has two perfect little pearls to use on his puff snacks or your finger if you're not careful where you put it. 

He's so busy all the time, I mentioned he pulls at my pants and tries to climb my legs, but many times, once I pick him up, he just wants down again anyway.  He leans his entire body weight out and over when you least expect it and commits himself to grasping anything he set his sights on.  He wants a yellow spoon on the counter, good luck keeping him in a vertical position. He chases Reed around the house like Pepe Le Pew (minus the stinky rapist stuff), Reed is frantically trying to find somewhere to hide, but Decker keeps gaining on him.  Reed finds himself trapped in a dark corner in the pantry and completely loses it- screaming and laughing hysterically. 

Watching them interact is always entertaining, except when it's annoying because Reed is helplessly too rough with him. Decker is tough- that's for sure!  

The one about my RedMan triathlon (including the bike wreck!)

I took a relaxing bath today while the boys napped.  It looked like someone had pushed me in and went sprawling down into the tub, landing with my limbs flung in all directions.  My bike wreck during Sunday’s race has left me with injuries that I’d rather not submerge in water.  I had to keep my left palm out on one side, my right shoulder is skinned, my right ankle has a gash that should have taken 5 stitches, but I didn’t have it looked at until over 48 hours later.  My right hand ate a little gravel, but it’s main issue is my sprained wrist.  Because both of my hands are totaled, I can’t wash my hair which turns out to be a bit of a silver lining because then Mike has to do it.

Mike washing my hair is something I would trade the skin on my palms for.  His hands are big and strong and cradle my whole skull while each of his fingers push the tension out of my scalp.  I don’t really care what my hair looks or smells like- the quality of the wash job isn’t really my concern.  Now the only problem is, finding time for us to “wash my hair” with two kiddos in the house.  Inevitably, one will interrupt us when it’s the least convenient. We even waited till the boys were both down for the night and of course, Reed showed up at the shower door with his teddy bear under his arm.

The race was awesome, save for the small hiccup at mile 10 on the bike.  The morning was going great, Mike’s race started at 7:30 that morning and he finished his sprint triathlon with enough time to make sure I was all set and ready to race my Olympic distance tri at 9.  I’d asked Cassie to come just in case there was some overlap- so she was there to play with the boys and me during Mike’s race.  One big difference between the RedMan and my last triathlon at Arcadia lake is that Hefner lake in September is usually wetsuit legal.  Oh how I love my wetsuit! And what  difference the buoyancy makes.  No longer did I have to worry about sinking, all I had to do was move my arms and legs and I was swimming.  The length was 3x the distance as my last triathlon, so my 1500 meter swim was expected to take me about 45 minutes.  The water felt amazing, the sky was crayon-blue with cartoonish puffy white clouds.  My new goggles didn’t fog in the slightest and I did the whole swim without turning onto my back.  My goal for the run was to not have to walk, which funny enough, was also my goal for the swim.  The lake was so shallow that about 75% of it was walkable for the athletes. And walk it they did!  It looked so ridiculous, that I vowed to myself that I’d swim every bit of it.  The goal is to swim/bike/run. Not swim or run, whichever is faster or easier.  So I head out on the bike and I’m feeling great, no problems in transition with my gear, no issues getting onto my bike and accelerating out onto the course and no concerns about energy or anything else. I was feeling great! 

The bike course was 4 loops, and I had my first loop done. I was thinking about where I could really push, where I could make up the most time and where I could get some active recovery in.  Almost halfway through my second lap, I noticed a guy pass me for the second time and I started thinking about going faster and strategizing.  The bike is supposed to be my sport and yet someone can pass me twice already? I call myself a cyclist? Was I even moving forward? I got so caught up in my thoughts and I was so inside my head that when I was jerked violently back to reality I suddenly realized I was at an intersection and it was time to turn NOW.  Not soon, but NOW.  I had to decide what to do.  I was in my drops on my road bike, so I already had poor handling and reaching my brakes was going to make me even more unsteady.  Do I focus on the handling and try to make the turn at that speed? Or do I brake and try to get my speed down enough to turn at a more comfortable pace? I braked with my right hand, and when I realized I wasn’t going to make the turn anyway, and I was headed through the cones of the lane reserved for the event and into traffic, I flung my left hand out and behind me with my palm facing the approaching car in a very “STOP” kind of signal.  This was before I lost all control and slammed down into the pavement, sliding, skinning and jamming.  I lay there for a couple of beats, pausing at the reality of it all and letting what just happened sink in.  I’m thinking, “Son of a…!!” and I slam my hands down onto the road in anger and frustration and immediately cringe from the pain I just stupidly caused myself with that action.  The car was stopped a few feet away from where I landed in the road with my bike and I jumped up and drug my bike to the side of the road so he could be on his way.  I felt embarrassed and tried to wave him on but he stayed put, a face of shock looking at me through the windshield. All the while athletes are passing and shouting out concerns, “Are you okay? Are you sure?” and the officer stationed at that intersection had made his way over to check on me as well.  I was already pulling tape off the frame of my bike to wrap around my palm, frantically trying to figure out a way to make it possible to get on my bike and finish the race.  The officer asked if I was okay and I looked at him and said, “Seriously, I need you to tell me.  Do you see anything??” I didn’t see any bones sticking out, but I wasn’t sure if I was just missing something completely serious.  All I could really feel was my hand and my ankle.  He confirmed that those looked the most serious and offered to get more tape from his car, but I was anxious to be on my way because, of course, now I had to make up even more time!

I said, “Okay, I think I’m going to go.” 

And he said, “Okay, but you’re a bad ass.”

I put one shaking foot onto my pedal and swung the other leg over to get back on track to finish the race.  I’d trained all summer and here I was race day- my first Olympic distance race and I was doing it, I was in the middle of it.  I had nothing stopping me from finishing.  My bike wasn’t broken, my bones weren’t broken, either way I’d still be sitting here today with one hand bandaged and the other in a brace, but with no finisher medal.  I needed to do it. I pedaled the remaining 18 miles and worried about my ankle swelling.  Wondering if I was going to be able to run six miles on it. Hoping my hands would steer my bike and work my shifters and brakes.  After a few miles the pain subsided and the numbness set in, and I thought, “oh this is convenient! I wonder if I could get two hours of this numbness to carry me through to the finish line!”  The rest of the bike was uneventful in comparison, Mike and the boys were there cheering me on and my coworker Mark was there which means so much to me.  The first half of the run was okay, I was averaging my expected 10 minute mile pace but on the second half, something happened and my hips started to get stiff. My bones in my pelvis felt jammed so that each step felt like I was just pounding my bones into the concrete sidewalk.  I walked a lot of that last 3 miles despite my constant self-bargaining and goals to run the rest of it without walking. 

I made it through the finish and an acquaintance pointed me towards the medical tent where they effectively began to torture me.  They poured peroxide on my exposed flesh and asked me questions that seemed trivial and insignificant, “Date of birth? Pre-race weight? Any allergies?” I wanted to say, “You’re killing me! If you’re going to put me through this much pain, just cut it off! Amputate the hand, I don’t want it anymore!”

I wish I had photos from my race.  Mike and I were both so preoccupied by the event itself that we did a really poor job of capturing it on our cameras.  I’m hoping the race photographer got something worth buying! It was memorable, even if slightly tainted by my little dance with the asphalt.  I’m proud of myself and happy about beating my goal time by eleven minutes! I thought it was a pretty aggressive goal, but after my finish and my visit to the medical tent, I was met with a 2 year old who enthusiastically wanted to tell me, “Mommy is a sand-bagger!”

It’s better to under-promise and over-perform, I say!
 

A few stats

My goal time: 3:45, (or at least under 4 hours!)

My finish time 3:34

My division place 16 out of 17 (Women 30-34) (I was 65 out of 85 total women)

My average bike speed for the 28 miles - 17.1

My 10k run 1:09, pace of 11:17 

Mike's division place 1 out of 27 (age group 30-34)

Mike's overall male place 9 out of 164

Mike's avg bike speed 21.7

Mike's avg run pace 7:05

I love to brag on my husband (someone has to!) but he wasn't really happy with his performance that morning. He felt like he could have been much faster, but he was focused on my event and preoccupied with the task of spending the day out at the lake with the boys.  I still think he did an amazing job and wish I could be anywhere near the natural-athlete he is!

The one about reverse engineering.

There is a theory I learned at a conference I went to a few months ago.  The conference was called “Project Mom, Be a Better You”

One of the things I heard that day was about reverse engineering your children.  The theory goes- you envision the person you want your child to be and then you work backwards to now and from this point forward put in place the things that your child needs in order to become that person.  I’m not necessarily saying it’s occupationally related, I want my boys to choose that for themselves, but there are qualities that I want my boys to have as men. 

When I picture them 20 and 30 years from now I see respectable and dignified men who live fulfilling and happy lives. They are gentlemen who are charitable and compassionate. They know how to be a good friend.  They know how to make people laugh and they know how to capture the attention of a room full of people.  I want them to know and love success.  I want them to be humble and charming.   They will love trying new things and being adventurous.  They will take care of themselves and their families.  They will choose to do the right thing.  They will be there for each other always.

I could go on, but this is overwhelming already.  I mean, look at this list! The pressure! The stress! The expectations! The potential for failure! I’m thinking, this is a lot of pressure to put on myself! Maybe I should pare it down to my top three and work on those, that way there is less room to be disappointed and more opportunity to be pleasantly surprised.  I already have a big job just being their mommy and trying to get them through each week alive.  But we all know how important goals are and you’ll never accomplish anything if you don’t have them.  Also, we have all heard the rules about making goals.  SMART goals.  Specific, measureable, attainable, realistic and time-bound.  So here is my goal in writing: my SMART goal.  I will guide and mold my children to be gentlemen who have most or all of the qualities listed above.  I will test them and challenge them daily to provide the opportunity for them to make the right decisions and I will be patient and listen to them.  I will demonstrate how to be a good person, how to give from my heart, how to challenge myself and accept the reward.  I will laugh at their jokes and encourage humor. I will give them space to explore on their own but be available when they need me to catch them.  I will provide boundaries and rules for them to live by with dependable consequences. I will affirm their actions and tell them consistently how well they’re doing.

When they are adults I will be proud to check-off my list. 

It’s funny how, within moments of birth, parents experience that extreme amount of pride. They don’t even have to do anything- you’re just proud of them for existing!! If you don’t believe me, take a look at a brand new daddy and get some before and after measurements of his chest.

I know my boys will continue to make me proud! 

The one about Reed's birthday & growing up

As a female, I was blessed with certain powers.  Women know that there are ways of getting what we want.  There are two gifts we were given to wield as weapons.  Number one: boobs.  Number two: crying.  Naturally we will try reasoning, planning, or any other variety of ways to get things to go our way, but when it comes down to it and we have to resort to our powers, we will use them because… well because we can. 

Well, I found myself in a grave state a couple of weeks ago.  Things have not been going my way and no amount of cleavage or tears is going to undo what is being done.  I cried, but it didn’t seem to help.  I can’t stop my children from growing up.  Reed is a genius child- the memory of an elephant and some serious deductive reasoning skills.  The rate at which he learns is mind-spinning. Decker is supposed to be the baby but he’s getting so close to Reed’s size that he can almost fit into Reed’s clothes and I’m not even joking.  Last month when Mike’s parents were here Decker kept ending up wearing Reed’s clothes and by all natural laws of physics they should have looked ridiculous on him, but they didn’t!

I told Decker, “We had a baby because we wanted a baby. What is with this growing game you’re playing with me? It’s not funny.”  He replies, “Ah-da! Aah-daa!”  I take that to mean “all done”. I think he got the message.

Reed turned two on August 28^th and we had his party the Saturday before, while my mom was still here visiting.  I wanted to have a perfect party of course. I wanted it to be cute and creative and most importantly a blast of all in attendance.  Mike didn’t want me to stress myself out by doing all the little creative things that I was brainstorming about.  The thing is, all those little details that take time, most of which people don’t really appreciate anyway, are really my creative outlet.  I don’t do it to stress myself out and I don’t do it because it’s expected of a two-year-old’s birthday party.  I do it because I want to and because I love to use my God-given creative talents. It’s truly a waste not to, right?

Well, I shopped all over this city to put together a matching theme of choo-choo trains. My mom can attest to my efforts.  There was no convenient package deal at Party Galaxy so I found things to compile for my theme.  I bought a pack of foam sheets and cut out train shapes to string across the window on the patio.  After the party, I hung them over Reed’s closet. Scrapbook paper with little trains was cut and pasted to blue and yellow cups.  Blue and yellow bins held the matching napkins, plates and utensils.  A blue platter presented fresh pineapple and grapes next to rows of individually bagged fresh popped popcorn.  I cut the pineapple, I air popped the popcorn and filled the bags and I sliced lemons and oranges to float in the icy water.  I ran out to pick up yellow and blue balloons, a 12 pack of Stella for the men and ice to chill the ale and juice boxes.  My day was busy! It wouldn’t have been possible without my mom watching over the boys while I chugged on. I borrowed a toddler size inflatable bouncer from a coworker and set that up in the backyard and baked cupcakes, too. Reed chose the flavor- triple chocolate fudge (with buttercream icing and a chocolate marshmallow on top).  His personal cake was surrounded by chocolate marshmallows on the sides and iced with an outline of a steam engine.

The kids enjoyed bouncing and the adults enjoyed popcorn and beer.  I also had an activity prepared for the littles.  Pails of foam bookmarks and a selection of foam sticker shapes and letters for decorating. Everyone was able to create a party favor to take home.  Reed received so many great gifts!  My favorite of course is the one that I created myself.  I came up with the idea a while ago and the purpose was to have a train track without having another piece of furniture to find a place for- and also to avoid having train track pieces scattered and lost all around the house.  So it’s designed to hang on the wall- like art!  I wanted it to look cool and match his room so I painted the board with the matching colors and had Danny cut and stain the wood for the frame with a dark stain to match our house.  After I stained the tracks and glued them down the masterpiece was finished.  I’ve been complimented on not only the finished product, but the idea itself (it looks great on the wall!) I’m happy to do a few more for some friends- for a price of course!  It was a fun project and Reed begs to play with it- daily.  So the plan to ‘hang it on the wall when he’s not playing with it’ requires him to not be playing with it.  Anyway, if you love it and want one, let me know. Like I said, I’m happy to build more!

So my big boy is two and that means Mike and I have been parents for two years.  Mike argues the fact and says it’s questionable if he was a parent the whole two years *wink*  I say, if you count the nights of baby duty it should really add up to more than two years! 

I know it gains momentum and goes faster and faster as the years pass.  I've been warned about the blinking and them suddenly being old enough to drive.  Trust me, I'm doing my best to live my moments to the fullest and enjoy the time I have with Reed and Decker as babies.  

***allow me to make a note here about why I had to do everything for Reed's party before anyone judges my wonderful husband.  We decided to schedule his baby-making-prevention surgery while my mom was here to help.  It turns out, having the surgery the day before Reed's birthday and Mike keeping himself iced- with his feet up, was more challenging than I had expected!  I love him for taking that bullet for me, tho.  

The one with the race report (Arcadia Tri)

The good news is I’m officially a triathlete again. And actually, I claimed my title back a month earlier than I’d planned.  I knew after I had Decker, that I wanted to do RedMan this year because they’re hosting the national championships for 2012, which only happens every 3 years – and- the exiting part about that is they expand the race to a two day event and include all four distances.  So it gives me a chance to do a sprint distance triathlon in September and there are all kinds of good things about that.  Later in the year means more time to prepare, cooler weather, etc.  Well, due to some complicated circumstances regarding Josie abandoning me- I offered to step into her Olympic distance slot because she’d already registered and I hadn't yet.  Here’s the thing, I've never done an Olympic distance triathlon. I’ve only ever done half that distance, not only that, but it’s been 3 full years and two babies ago. 

So a couple of weeks ago I decided I needed to toss Arcadia sprint distance triathlon onto my calendar because its early-to-mid-August date would help me gauge my ability level.  What I learned was that I have a lot of work to do! It was a reality check, hard core reality check. 

There were days when I really thought I was getting enough training. Enough to finish, not enough to be competitive really, but enough to say, hey I did it.  That fantastical thought went poof 8 minutes into the race. 
I love race morning.  I love the nervousness in the pit of my stomach that says, today is the day! You're going to do it! Checking over everything to make sure I have what I need to race.  Taking that first deep breath after setting up transition. The breath that says- this is the oxygen that's going to fill my lungs and fuel my blood. The warm up jog that questions the legs- what do you have today? Did you bring it?  And, that last stretch before wading out into the water that awakens the arms and releases the tension sleeping between the muscles.

Here’s the tricky thing. In black and white- on paper, it seemed everything was going according to plan.  My goal to finish at Arcadia was 1:40 and my finish time was 1:36.  I was allowing 15 minutes for my swim time, and I was in transition at 13:+.  What these numbers don’t relay is how hard I had to try to get myself to the finish line!

Lets talk about the swim.  I swim in a pool and there are obviously differences that you have to account for.  In a pool, you don’t have to sight because you can see a line at the bottom but in a lake you can’t follow any lines even if they were there because the water is so dark.  In a pool people don’t climb all over you and kick you in the face or throw water into your mouth when you turn your head to take a breath.  The water in a lake full of swimmers is quite turbulent and your body bobs around unpredictably, not the smooth, quietness of a pool where you’re pretty much the only one slicing through the water.  There are no walls to push off in a lake, which give you a burst of speed and a rest for your arms.  I know these things because I’ve done open water swims, but knowing them doesn’t change the fact that they’re still different from the pool and they still suck.  8 minutes in, I’d been kicked, climbed on and swam off course, I swallowed a disturbing amount of lake Arcadia and ended up on my back after the first buoy.  This is when I had my first mental argument with myself about what I can and can’t do. 

The pessimist in me, for lack of a better name, said your arms are too fatigued. You can’t go on.

While the realist in me said- you’ve swam longer than 8 minutes! You can swim longer than 30! What are you doing on your back? Turn over now!

The latter was a much louder voice with much more passion, so I turned over.  Two strokes and I was on my back again. Nope. Can’t.

Connie. Get your ass back in the air and swim, dammit!
Ok.

I made it to shore after the third time, but it was a very long and heated inner-debate! And it seemed like I wasn’t going anywhere. 

Out of the water, up the beach through the sand and up the hill to transition.  Mike and the boys watched as I was trying to get beach sand off my feet because I could just imagine all the blisters I would get by basically “sanding” the skin off my feet between every toe if I didn’t get them clean before I ran!

I spent about a minute and a half in transition- about 60 seconds too long.  But once I got on my bike I felt the tension ease and my body sighed with relief.  “This I can do.” It said to me. My legs took over and we climbed and descended for six miles out and six miles back.  I did my best to burn up everything I had on the bike.  I didn’t care to “save anything for the run” there is no, “maybe my run would have been faster if” because my run is slow and there’s no way around it. I might as well put some distance under my wheels and make at least one leg of the triathlon worth something.  It wasn’t my best time and it wasn’t my fastest, but I think I gave those hills what I had.

My running legs were hiding somewhere and didn’t return until halfway through the run.  I couldn’t smooth it out, my arms and legs couldn’t synch up and my stomach was twisting as I bounced around and pounded my feet into the ground.  I smiled because knew this was it though. I knew I was almost done and I just had to finish this last thing before I could call it a wrap.  I got to see my three boys cheering for me every time I came back near the transition/finish area.  Reed’s big eyes searching for mommy as Mike tried to point him in the right direction, until finally he found me – but then I was running off again!

I knew as I ran that I was going to take him through the finish line with me.  That had to be my favorite part of the whole race.  I came up the hill towards the finish line and reached my arms out, I said “I want Reed!” so Mike set him down and Reed and I went running, hand in hand, through the big blue arch.  The lucky little guy even received a medal for his participation!

I’m happy to be able to say I’m a triathlete once again, I’m also happy that I got that reality check for the Olympic distance race coming up.  I’ve only got a few weeks to prepare, but I think this is going to go down as one of my greater accomplishments –athletically speaking.