The one about my friends

Kelly and I were cracking up at Josie's new friends!

True love wasn’t such a hard find after all. Sure I had my share of dirtbags I had to sludge my way through, and I had my share of fun and kind people who helped me learn what I was really looking for in a man.  But, true love literally walked right into my cubicle at the tender age of 23, and delivered itself as easy as a piece of interoffice mail.

A best friend, however, seems to keep me searching.  A really good friend is a tough find.  I wonder why that is?  True, I have a nice circle of wonderful people in my life, and I don’t want to give any of them up.  But, I continue to search for that friend who will always have my back no matter what, who shares the same opinions and views on the big stuff and the little stuff, too.  A best friend that’s reliable and compatible with my personality.  I envy my friends who have such a person in their lives.  If it weren’t for these friends and their claims, I’d just throw in the towel right now and say that my idea of a best friend is an urban legend, a myth, a fairy-tale of the wickedest kind.  Perhaps it still is, perhaps the stories I hear are exaggerated and it’s a conspiracy against me.  Perhaps, most likely of all, it’s just that my expectations and standards for a best friend are too high, my parameters set too tight, and perhaps, just maybe, I drive away great friends because I think they’re just good friends and don’t accept them and the friendship for what it is.  Nah, I’m not considering that last part!

I'm slightly more pregnant than Josie ;o)

I’m an initiator.  Once I consider a person a friend, I’m the one who initiates the get-togethers almost 99 percent of the time. Sometimes I think I’ve accepted this and I’m okay with it, but really the truth is that if someone never invites me to do anything or asks me to hang out with them then eventually the natural conclusion is that they just don’t find my company worth the inquiry.  Right?  I mean, if I were that fun to be around, it would occur to them to invite me over instead of just waiting for me to ask and then accepting when the opportunity is convenient for them.  I want someone who wants to hang out with me. 

Like I said, I do have a little circle of nice friends.  I know they care about me and enjoy my company.  Kelly is also an initiator, and its wonderful to have someone who  is comfortable with both planning ahead and throwing out the spontaneous invite as well.  Our friendship is like a Z. It’s a zig zag of common interests and complete opposites.  Fortunately, there are enough similarities in the important areas to keep us coming back for more.  I know she fills a special place in my life and that space is reserved just for her.  I'm lucky to have Cassie in my life- she is generous with her wings and takes our family under them as if she owed it to us.  As if it were an obligation to her and Keith to accept us, but of course it's not, which makes the Christmas dinners and Superbowl parties all that more special.  As the quote goes, "friends are the family we choose for ourselves."

Josie taking Reed & Luke to pet the goats

   
I was so excited about my friendship with Josie and had such high hopes for a “best friend” status.   There are a couple of important factors that matched up so perfectly for us.  For one, we both have space in our lives for a good solid new friend.  Most of my friends here already have an existing friend-foundation andfar as to say Luke was Reed’s best friend. Besides being a mother, Josie and I are interested in the same activities. We’ve got cycling, running, swimming, triathlons, traveling, coffee, Mexican food, kiddie concerts, spray parks… okay this list go really go on. The point is, we can exchange tips, tricks and warnings. We can borrow, trade, and share gear. Our boys were getting so good at playing together that Reed was often requesting play dates at Luke’s house. I’d go so far as to say Luke was Reed’s best friend.

As Kelly put it, Josie was a staple in my life until two weeks ago when she packed herself up and ran away to Denver with Luke and her growing belly.  Her husband snatched up an opportunity to take a job in Denver where she’s from, and left us here abandoned.  . Give another couple-few years.  But no,  they opened that door, pulled the trigger, flew the coop!  It took multiple attempts to hold back the tears because the longer we talked about it and the more the reality of it set in, the more sad I got.  My friend! My Josie! Our friendship foundation had been poured and was starting to set!  We had something solid under us and I had to say goodbye to it. 

Our very last play-date was one big denial.  I kept telling her that I’d be stopping by later to drop off a gift for Luke.  A little going away present for the road trip, so I didn’t need to do my goodbyes yet.  Then when I did stop by that night, I just stood in the entry way with a plead at the tip of my tongue and the urge to beg tickling my knees.  Hands in my pockets, toes fidgeting in my shoes, eyes cast downward.   “Any chance I could talk you into staying?” I asked awkwardly.  If I had thought there’d be a chance that begging would have worked, I’d have tried it.  But, I know from experience that when you have to go, you have to go, even when you’re leaving behind people you care about.       

It’s been two weeks since the last time I saw Josie.  I miss her kindness and thoughtfulness.  She would stop for lattes on her way over to our house to play.  When Mike was out of town, she would invite us to hang out at her house for a long afternoon/evening play date.  She’d make dinner and we would eat together.  Another time when Mike was out of town and Bryce was just a newborn, she left Luke with Matt when he got home and came over to keep me company.  She stayed and held Bryce so I could put Reed to bed, and that was when I knew I had a true friend to count on.  Josie was always helpful. I try to pretend I have it all together.  Actually, I really try to have it all together!  I just don’t sometimes, and extra hands, extra eyes and extra snacks are as valuable as diamonds.  She was always so helpful and made outings easier on me.  Now I’m really starting to feel it.  Two weeks of doing it all on my own, I’m lucky I haven’t lost a child, or had one lose an eye or break a bone.  Its more and more temping everyday to just hole up inside for the next couple of years!!

What I want to say is, Josie I miss you.  I’ll do my best to replace you, but I doubt I’ll be successful!

The one about getting back on the sports wagon

I’m officially back on the wagon!  Two weeks ago I ran my first sanctioned 5k at the first annual “Riley’s Run”, which started at the school across from our neighborhood.  The course was too convenient not to participate, plus Mike was going to be pushing the jogging stroller instead of me- so how could I say no?  My goal was to finish under 30 minutes and not have to walk. I only made one of those goals. I ended up walking 4 times, but my speedy husband was pushing us too fast and that’s my excuse!  It was a great experience to run as a family, all four of us doing it together had the spectators and fellow runners cheering us on.  Most of the comments were for Mike- “That’s a real man!” I heard one lady say.  Others suggested that it was their turn to ride in the stroller.  I wish I had a picture from that day, but I chose not to buy the professional photo that was taken because they were charging $15 for a  4x6.  No thank you! 

I’ve been running at least twice a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays) with the boys in the stroller and biking … not much, but here and there.  I took them both in the trailer last week and I’m hoping they start to enjoy it more.  We made it a total of 6 miles in 30 minutes and about 15 of those minutes the trailer was wailing as it rolled over the hills and down the road.  It’s very distracting to a cyclist and not considered enjoyable!  Of course, each time I decided I couldn’t do it and was going to turn around, Bryce would settle in and stop crying.  Reed really did pretty well, considering he had a baby screaming directly in his ear. Not to mention Bryce’s tiny fists were flying up and hitting him square in the nose.

I’m signed up to participate in the Draper Duathlon this Sunday.  I haven’t competed in multisport since 09- the season before Reed was born.  I’ve done this course, so I know what to expect. The problem is, I was in the best shape of my life last time I competed and now I can barely run 30 minutes straight!  The course is 3k/20k/3k and its run/bike/run.  My goals are #1. Finish.  #2.  Not have to walk  #3. Not pee my pants in public.  #4 finish under 2 hours (this should be a sandbag goal, I should squash this time).  I’ll check back in with you about it next week. 

I’ve also signed up to compete in the Redman Olympic Distance Triathlon in September.  This is double the distance of any triathlon I’ve done before.  I remember at the end of my last tri season, the morning of Redman I was preparing for the race and thinking, “Why am I still doing sprints? I should be moving up and doing the Olympic distance. I’m such a sandbagger!”  However, an hour later, as I was flailing around in the water, trying to finish the swim, I reminded myself why.  “I am SO GLAD I didn’t sign up for the Olympic!” and again during the run. I couldn’t imagine running 6 miles and thanked my lucky sandbagging stars that I was only running 3.  Well, here I am, three years and two babies later signed up for this doubly butt kicking race.  Supposedly, muscle memory will kick in. That might have expired, actually. I’m pretty sure I’ll have to rely on good old fashion training.  Which, by the way, is cheating in my book.

I figure, if I know I’m doing the Olympic, registered, paid and planned. Then that’s what I’ll train for, right? Because the difference three years ago was I was always signing up and training for sprint distance. I can do it, because that’s what I’m planning on this time. Who cares if I’m getting older? What does that matter? What difference does being a mom make? This body created and delivered two babies!  Triathlons are just for fun- a hobby.  I should be able to make this happen.  

The one about Reed spelling & Bryce sitting

Bryce is just growing up so fast and getting so big! I can tell just from holding him that his body is becoming more muscular.  He’s so firm now, not that squishy infant body anymore.  He has a very cute thing that he does when he’s trying to soothe himself. He reaches up to the top of his head and plays with his hair.  As his fingers pull thru his tiny strands, his eyes will close and his body relaxes. He does this after an especially fussy little fit when he’s falling asleep in the crib, or when he’s drinking a bottle after getting really worked up.  I guess I’m just too slow getting that bottle made sometimes!

Over the weekend he improved so much strength and is starting to sit independently. Not only that, but he also is making forward motion in preparation to start crawling. He buries his face into the rug and scrunches his body so his butt goes into the air, like an inchworm he moves forward just a little at a time. I keep wondering how much more he is soaking up from the world because he’s got Reed around to learn from. They always say the second one learns faster because of that, but it seems impossible since Reed is so advanced!

Recently Reed decided he wanted to learn to spell.  He has known his alphabet for months, so logically the next step is spelling, right?  He focuses best in the car while he’s strapped down and in a confined space, so that’s where we started.  
I said to him, “Reed, what letters spell milk?” 
And then he repeated after me, “M-I…L-K” 
Then he said, “Mommy, spell Reed.”
So I say, “Okay, Reed. Say R… E-E…D” 
It was back and forth, over and over, he requested, 
“Mommy, spell Milk?  Mommy, spell Reed? “Mommy, spell Milk?  Mommy, spell Reed? Mommy, spell Baby Duck”

Wha???

It was so random and so completely hilarious as a result.  Mike and I both cracked up.  I thought the next word might be something like: truck, bike, Daddy… any of his favorite words.  But, Baby Duck?? 
When I tried to get  back to Milk or Reed, he insisted! “Mommy, spell baby duck?!?”

Since then, and it’s been about two weeks, he occasionally goes through the same requests,  “Mommy, spell Milk?  Mommy, spell Reed? Mommy, spell Baby Duck” 
He’s hilarious.

He’s also started adding “Okay!” to his requests.  This is how it’s evolved. Let’s say he wants milk (because that’s about 90% of the time) after he learned the word he used to say, “Milk! Milk! Milk, pease!” Then it became “Milk, pease!? Yes?” (most likely because we would say, you want milk? Yes?) then we would say, “Okay! I’ll get you some milk!”  So now it’s, “Milk, pease? Yes? Okay! Milk!” He has a whole conversation with himself!  This also applies to “Outside play? Yes? Okay! Outside play!” Or “Watch news? Yes? Okay! Watch news!”  The best part is that the question part is a little whiny but when he gets to the “Okay!”, he perks right up!  He loves watching the news with his Daddy in the mornings.  He gets a cup of his milk and snuggles in. Life doesn’t get any better.  Besides, the news has all his favorite things- ambulances, police cars, fire trucks, helicopters…  He will decide he wants to watch the news at any given moment during the day.  Its quite problematic when the news isn’t on.  Try explaining that to a 22 month old.  Bryce is a little TV addict already.  It’s really tough to try to keep him faced away from it since Reed and Dad get to watch TV.  Reed wasn’t allowed to watch TV (with the exception of a little football on Sunday) until he was 15 months, and that was only because he was sick and we bought the movie Cars for him to watch while lying on the couch.  So here Bryce is, not even 6 months old and we’ve still got almost a year of trying to keep the TV either turned off around him or out of his line of sight.  Good luck with that, right?  

We’re supposed to try to enforce the same timing constraints on the second child as we did the first?  And so it begins.  The second child always gets earlier exposure, “adjusted” rules, and basically ends up growing up quicker.  Luckily, this early on, Reed will never know how unfair it all is!
Reed’s got all kinds of thoughtful sentences
Bryce is awake
Bryce is sleeping
Bryce is sad
Bryce is smiling
 Yesterday he took a diaper out to the garage and threw it away without me asking and when he came back he was beaming, “Reed threw diaper away, garbage!” There is always some mumbling in between his key words in a sentence.  He knows there are some connecter words and extra “fluff” that we adults add, so he tries to add it as well.  Its adorable. His brain is so logical.  He will talk to me for 20 minutes straight on the way to and from school about who he will play with and what he will do, or what he did do if it’s afternoon. 

 He told me last Friday that he “painted dinosaurs with Rylan.”  I asked what colors he used and he said, “Orange. And… blue.”

I wish you could see Bryce's face better- its the best!

He loves Bryce and one of my favorite things is watching them play in the backseat of the car.  Reed will peak at Bryce, who is obviously rear-facing, and Bryce will just light up at him- which cracks Reed right up! It’s clear how much Bryce already looks up to Reed.  He sees Reed’s face and immediately turns into the happiest boy in the world.  They are so lucky to have each other! 

The one about the gun range

Mike and I had a really fun experience last night that I want to share.  We pride ourselves in being very open to new experiences and trying new things and although guns are not really our thing, we were invited by Mike’s boss to a team building event at the gun range.  It was a special day all around; I woke up that morning feeling quite slim and thought I’d take a chance at trying on some pre-baby slacks for work. I’m happy to report they slid right over my hips!  That was such big news, that I had to run around my office and show off for the ladies.  My boss had scheduled my annual review for lunch time, and that went really well, too.  As always, it could have been better- but I received some great information about some changes to my position that I’m excited about.  

After work, our friend Cassie came over to watch the boys while we went out. She and Keith are such a blessing to our family.  Reed was so happy to see Cassie but couldn’t hold back his disappointment at not seeing Keith, who was out of town.  Reed is a guy’s guy.  While he loves the ladies, he just prefers hanging out with the men.  Even if he just barely met a guy- he’ll continue to try to get his attention, even when it’s the husband of a friend that we hang out with about 3 times a week- the friend and her son, not the husband. He continues to ask for “Matt”.  I’ll say, “Guess what Reed? We’re going to the park to play with Josie and Luke!” The first thing Reed says is, “and Matt!”  It’s not even a question! 

  

I didn’t know it at the time, in fact I just found out this morning, but yesterday was Cassie’s birthday.  Some friends we are! Hey, come babysit for me on your birthday! Wow, my obliviousness continues to surprise me.  I was feeling so great about my pre-baby slacks, that when I changed after work I chose some prebaby jeans for the first time, too.  Another check mark on the confidence scale and a little pat on the back!

So Mike and I head of to the gun range, leaving Bryce and Reed with Cassie (sans Keith) and when we get there they ask us to pick out a gun.  I scan the guns under the counter while thinking to myself, Oh sure. Just pick a gun. I know nothing about guns! How do you pick one? They’re basically all the same thing, right? No, because that’s when I spot the pink glock. That makes the choice pretty simple- I’ll take that one.  The guy behind the counter says, “really? I wouldn’t have pegged you as a pink girl” well then, mister. You had me pegged wrong was all I could say!  He must have liked me because he made sure that I knew he was giving me a brand new pair of safety glasses, “from the box”.  I can’t say I didn’t appreciate that. 

Mike and I loaded our guns and took aim at our targets. We shared a stall, for lack of a better word, so we swapped out our targets each time we unloaded our gun on them and took turns shooting.  Surprisingly we were both great at it.  Not surprising for Mike, I suppose, he’s good at everything he does.  With me it’s hit or miss. I’m either good at something or not.  And, when I’m not- I’m so completely and miserably not.

The first round we shot at our target about a third of the distance away, but then we decided we might as well try the full distance.  It takes almost 10 minutes for the target to travel the line from the very front to the very back.  Okay, I’m exaggerating, but it’s slow!  I made a bulls-eye and Mike could hit almost anywhere he decided to target. I never knew, because I never had the opportunity to find out, but now I know just how sexy my husband is with a gun.  I’m glad I had him tucked away in my own private stall, away from all his female co-workers. We don’t need to be arousing any desires over there!  And, to be accurate, the other girls there were wives of co-workers anyway.

As we’re popping off ammunition, the expended shells are flying out of the gun at a temperature of approximately 400 degrees.  So, inevitably a shell flips right down my shirt and starts burning my tender skin as it travels through and out the bottom!  I squeal and grab my shirt, trying to get rid of the thing faster! Mike is cracking up and everyone whips their attention over to the girl who can’t keep her shirt on.  Mike’s boss, Todd, says “now it’s a party!”  This happened twice! The second time didn’t have as much of the shock value and just elicited a few chuckles but little did we know, when I shook my shirt that time- I didn’t drop the shell. So, at home that evening when I was changing my clothes there was a tink-tink of the shell hitting the bathroom tile!  I had brought home a little souvenir in my delicates!

Todd brought some guns from his personal collection to shoot, and everyone wanted to try out the assault rifle.  Mike had a much harder time getting an accurate shot on that one.  He was able to fire the “forty-five” just fine, though.  Me on the other hand, I couldn’t control that thing if my life depended on it.  And, I didn’t try the assault rifle, so I can’t put a personal account of what that was like.  I just stuck to my little 9mm mostly.  What occurred to me, was how I became so desensitized over the course of the 2 hours that we were there.  When we first walked into the shooting range area, I jumped out of my skin at the first shot that went off. Then the second, then the third and I thought, this is ridiculous, Connie! Get ahold of yourself!  I was also looking at the gun with suspicion.  Accidents happen with these things all the time, people die.  People die on purpose and on accidents because of the bullets that are forced from the barrels of these things *shiver*. Two hours later, these deadly weapons are just heavy pieces of metal in my hands. The loud pops are just background noise.  Exposure does crazy things.

Well, Mike and I both enjoyed ourselves and I’m just glad that we did it as a couple.  Our marriage is about making memories and sharing our experiences! 

The one about Sentences and coherent thoughts

Reed is talking talking talking!  Yesterday I asked him, “Reed, what color are Bryce’s eyes? What color are Mommy’s eyes?” He was looking at our eyes and then answering.  A few minutes later- after a period of silence Reed said to me, “Bryce’s eyes blue.”

I was so impressed!  Sometimes I can’t believe what a smarty pants he is.  Aunt Jessie is here for the week and we are enjoying her so much!  The boys are on break from school until Monday morning so she came up to nanny so I can go to work.  The downside is- now I want to take vacation days so I can stay home and play with them! I guess I can’t complain since I only work MWF and 18 hours a week.   They enjoy the crap out of her, too.  Bryce giggles hysterically when she lifts him into the air and brings him in for kisses.  Reed tested her reflexes in the pool by spontaneously trying to drown himself every three seconds.

We recently taught Reed an add on for his greeting of “hi”, I decided it was slightly creepy for him to just repeatedly stab a “hi” to random customers at the store so we said, “Reed, when you say hi- you can ask how they’re doing. Say, Hi, How are you? I’m great!”  He picked it up with ease and can now interact conversationally with strangers. Its sweeter than pure cane sugar.  Occasionally he’ll throw the greeting out to inanimate objects, such as his fork.  “Hi fork! Howie you? I’m-a-great!”

Or comically, to a bug that he pointed out to Mike. 

“Bug.” Reed said to his dad. 

“Yeah, Reed. That’s a dead bug.”  Returned Mike.

“Hi dead bug! Howie you?!”

(not so great, thought the dead bug)

We’ve really been making the most of Jessie’s trip. She got in late on Saturday night, not just late, as in planned in the evening, but delayed late, too.  I picked her up after 9:30 and we headed downtown where the Thunderheads were all pouring out of the basketball arena and into Bricktown.  We talked and talked and soaked up the energy of the crowds of people yelling “Thunder up, baby!”

Just strolling up and down the streets was entertainment, but after sharing a small cup of “chocolate-peanut butter-coconut-marshmallow swirl” gelato, we headed upstairs at Nonna’s for a drink at The Purple Bar.  Jessie’s brilliantly blue “Thunder Up” cocktail was a lot more fittingly  festive than my lemonade cocktail.

Sunday was a Sun-Day, that’s for sure. We headed south to Moore, bright and early, for Mike’s bike race.  He raced well, but didn’t show it at the finish. Still working on strategy for getting in the front of the pack at the finish line. It was sunny, warm, and humid!  We loved watching him speed past us every 2 minutes in the short critirium course and we had a great spot staked out under the shade. I brought along Reed’s balance bike so he could play with it while Mike raced, and PLAY WITH IT he did!! He rode that bike for over an hour- he took a 10 minute break for a snack and a dry diaper, but went right back to it.  The race actually butted up close to nap time, so there was a little hanging around and then it was time to pack up and head home.  Reed wanted to ride his bike all the way (two blocks) back to the car but was getting so exhausted he could barely keep it upright and his eye lids were falling at about the same rate. He slowly trudged along, with his eyes almost closed before Jessie picked up both Reed and his bike to walk the rest of the way.  Reed requested weakly, “Bike please? Bike please?”  Oh the silly little guy.

The one about Reed's 1st Camping Trip

First Camping Trip

Reed had his first camping trip.  Since it was just a trip for the big boys, Bryce and I were keeping it indoors. Mike initiated both Reed and our tent that we bought, oh either last year or the year before.  We don't really camp much, but we were pretty ambitious about it at some point.  
Mike and Reed traveled all the way to the backyard to set up their campsite and Reed was thrilled about the activity. 

As Mike constantly tried to let Reed “help” him, Reed did nothing but tug and pull in all the wrong places- but only when he wasn't plopping down on top of the fabric or trying to get under it.  After it was set up, he went bananas once inside.  Reed knows all about bounce houses and the joys they provide, so he was convinced that he’d just acquired his own personal jumper.  This was an incorrect assumption on his part- it was all no's and Reed, stop-that's from Mom and Dad. 

We quickly realized there would be no calming him down inside the tent- and the possibility of an 8 o’clock bedtime was out the window, or more appropriately vent panel, to be concise.  
Reed was allowed to run all over the backyard in his over-tired hysteria and we encouraged him to just go-go-go.  He did laps through the grass and climbed all over his slide. The strategy worked! They got back into the tent (Bryce was asleep inside the house and I had the monitor with me, so I climbed in as well).  We talked about the moon and read a book before the final lullaby song, which is what zonked him out. 

They were able to make it though the whole night- so it was a success! We are now ready to try a greater distance from the house. Perhaps a neighbors backyard… haha!  I think the plan is actually to hit a campground at the nearby Arcadia lake.  Just a 15 minute drive from home in case of emergency.

Oh brother!

Bryce had his 4 month appointment last week.  Reed was performing the whole time, saying hi to “Doctor Mike” and showing off with is look and find book.  He was very charming and I think he likes the appointment much more when the doctor is poking and looking at Bryce rather than him.  However, he is the ever protective big brother and doesn’t like anyone else picking on Bryce and making him cry.  It’s perfectly fine if he makes him cry, but heaven forbid if anyone else does.  Bryce is perfectly healthy and impressively strong (good genes!) so the only concern is the flat head that he’s developed, which is more of a concern on my part than it was for Dr. Garrison.  He said he’s seen worse and that it wasn’t too late.  By the way, it’s really no comfort when a doctor tells you they’ve “seen worse” because, of course they have- they’re doctors!  I don’t know why they think this is supposed to be reassuring.  

Regardless, Mike and I have made such an effort to not leave Bryce lying around because I really didn’t want him to have a flat head. I was aware of it since before he was even born and swore that I’d carry him and hold him jus t as much as I did Reed.  I feel so bad for second babies who get left lying on their backs.   I’ve tried to hold him as much as I can with a toddler running around my house.  It’s been much easier over the past month or so that he’s strong enough to sit in the walker or bumbo seat, so he’s off his head more during the day.  The culprit is the fact that he sleeps on his back and I mean flat on his back.  Reed never did- Reed was a tummy sleeper and would sleep no other way, so he has a beautifully round skull in the back.  Poor Bryce, I don’t want him to think that he has a flat head because we don’t love him as much!  Maybe I can massage it and get it to round back out.

I even tried to get him to sleep on his tummy for naps, but he never liked it.  You can only do so much. I know you can’t put a whole lot of merit into their measurements as babies besides to check on growth and consistency.  There’s really no direct correlation to their height and weight as adults, but so far it looks like Bryce could be bigger than Reed.  He was a pound less and almost an inch smaller at birth, but since then he’s grown more rapidly than Reed did at his 4 month appointment.  Bryce is 16lbs and 26.9 inches.  Two pounds more and an inch longer than Reed was.  This is to his advantage if Reed continues to brutalize him- at least Bryce will catch up faster and be able to hold his own ground around his big brother!  I’ve been told they will fight, I’ve been told they’ll be best friends and worse enemies.  I know it won’t prepare me, but I’ve been told, so at least I’ve been warned. I’m a girl so it’s going to be hard for me to relate, their childhood will be vastly different from mine.  Don’t worry, I’ve got two books on raising boys so I plan to be well read on the subject and braced for the impact.

I’ve read a few chapters; let’s just say I’m buying stock in Band-Aid.

Bryce still likes the Soothie pacifiers, they’re the big, round, gummy kind. He hasn’t yet transitioned to the plastic kind with the handle on them.  The problem is that as soon as he loosens his suction, that thing will bounce all the way across the room and out the door before you can blink.  So, we’ve been using this “wubbanub” pacifier (can you believe they named it that?) that we actually received as a gift at my baby shower for Reed. It has a little stuffed animal attached to it, so it looks like he’s cuddling with this little blue pony on his chest. 

We’ve come to rely heavily on it, especially at night and in the car.  

The one on the left is my creation!

I’m sure you can guess what’s coming, yes, we lost it.  It took one day of searching all over the house and retracing my footsteps leading up to the disappearance before I broke down and “popped in” to check BabiesRUs for a replacement.  I say “pop in” because there is no such thing when you have two littles.  Hauling them in and out of anywhere is a chore and must be made worth it! Much to my dismay, I found the display of pacifiers utterly disappointing.  Right there in the middle of the wall, almost swallowed by the rest of them was the lone hanger- empty from tip to end.  The tag above it was labeled, Wubbanub (what a ridiculous name).  Of course.  I felt defeated.  Of course they were out of stock, it was only the ONE thing I needed. I had a fix when in mind when got home.  My remedy was a quick sew job with a Soothie and a palomino horse beanie baby.  It’s a much larger animal than the one that comes on a Wubbanub (for crying out loud, could they have come up with a better name?) but it was a much cheaper option! The best part is that I’ve been receiving compliments on it everywhere we go.  People point to it and say, “is that one of those Wubbanubs? It’s so cute! I’ve never seen one like that!” to which I admit, “Nope, I made it myself.” Mommy MacGyver style!

The original has since been found. But of course!

The one about Mother's Day of course!

I owe a big thanks to my sweet husband for making my Mother’s Day special. First, you should know that Mike doesn't celebrate mothers in general on Mother’s Day.  He’s a firm believer in Mother’s Day being celebrated between mother and child.   Since we have a bit of a conflicting view on the subject, last year was a disaster. I thought it was going to be a very special day filled with sweet surprises and loving gifts.  After all, I’m the mother of his children!  I’m the only mother in this home, I’m pretty much the queen of all mothers in his life right now.  He thought that spending the day together and going to lunch was a good enough celebration. He assumed that Mother’s Day wouldn’t really be celebrated until the boys were old enough to really understand and show their appreciation.  By the time we were in bed that night, ready to go to sleep, I had finally realized that Mother’s Day was over and there weren’t going to be any last minute gifts or sweet tokens.  At least I was able to open up and tell him how disappointed I was in my first real mother’s day.  I explained my expectations and he explained his position.

 This year he made a sweet effort to celebrate on behalf of the boys.  There was a bouquet of flowers on the counter when I woke in the morning, with a wrapped gift, bag of dark chocolates and a card.  The card had notes written for each of the boys as well as himself.  The gift was a pretty set of lotions, and breakfast was toasted Eggo waffles with sliced strawberries and powdered sugar.  The theme was perfect, and gave me a glimpse into the future when it really is the boys choosing my breakfast and my gifts.

Mother’s Day is a reminder of how much responsibility is on our shoulders. On Mother’s Day, all around us are constant reminders of where we are falling short.   Clips and poems and sayings about what a mother is.  Who are these women that this stuff is based on?  The sermon at church on Sunday was a tribute to mothers and their unconditional love.  The bond between mother and child- forged from the womb, and I get this part. I love my babies more than anything in this world and I would do absolutely anything for them.  The sermon went on about how moms heal wounds with their kisses, they have never ending patience, they are great teachers, keep everything organized, know where everything is, clean up spills, kill germs and make a home comfortable and warm. Mom is the cook, the janitor, the driver, the teacher, coach, mentor, and agent.  In my house, most of these duties are split.  Mike is definitely more patient than me.  I’m not really a great cook, at least not a consistent cook.  I only drive when I’m the only adult in the car and Mike is their role model, rightly so.  We alternate who feeds the boys, we alternate who brushes Reed’s teeth and who puts them down.  I don’t dive to the rescue when Reed is hurt and cover his boo-boos in kisses.  He doesn’t normally require affection after a spill.  I’m supposed to be the foreign language translator , but half the time I don’t know what the heck Reed is saying either, so don’t look at me! I’m even supposed to be able to distinguish Bryce’s different cries.  I know two cries- there is a cry for “I’m either tired, hungry or need a new diaper.” And then there’s “I’m in physical pain because my brother is a brute.” The latter is high pitched and on the verge of hysterical.  But the first cry doesn’t distinguish between the 3 needs.  I just check off the boxes till I get the one that soothes him. 

I don’t take on any of the jobs single-handedly.  Maybe I should have given Mike a happy mother’s day card!  
Does that make me a bad mom? Are you guys disappointed in me?  This is the honest truth of it all.  I’ve got less than two years experience and I’m still learning.  At least I can say that I love to learn.  I even attended a conference last week, called Project Mom- Be Even Better. My iPad is now packed with both voice memo recordings of the speakers and notes from each class I took.  But the first thing I did when I got home is go over all my notes with Mike and try to decide how to apply new new-found knowledge. 

My marriage is a partnership!  I’ll admit that all the Mother’s Day stuff going around really made me feel like I wasn’t measuring up, but then I decided that I am just lucky to have such a great partner who can pick up all my slack!

The one about a sparkplug drama queen

I’m a bit of a spark plug.  I can be passionate, opinionated and a bit bossy.  Mike is so laid back that in the beginning of our relationship he had a hard time listening to my stories.  I never give the short version- I can try, but when I fail, I usually end up going back to the beginning and starting over.  I re-live the story, I get worked up all over again, and Mike would say, “Why are you yelling at me?”

Then I would yell, “I’m not yelling at you! I’m just telling the story!”  I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just listen to the story and it was distracting to me that he wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying, but instead to how I was saying it.

My mom can tell you that my stories have always started with a full description.  I was teased as a child, “Yes Connie, the sky was blue and the grass was green- just get to the point.”  It hurt my feelings to be teased about the way I told my stories.  I just wanted to come home from school and talk about my day.  I just wanted to go back on Monday and tell my friends how my weekend was.  If you hear a, “Fine, how was yours?” from me, then something is probably wrong. Either that, or I’m conducting some sort of social experiment.

Mike used to call me a drama-queen.  I call it passionate.  I choose a side and I commit to it. I decide how I feel about something and I give all my supporting evidence to back it. I can change my mind in a week- but at that moment, I’m sticking firmly to my guns.

I can’t apologize for the way I am.  I accept the way I am, I try to tailor and shape my behavior for certain situations, of course, but when I need to be me- this is what you get.  I work at giving my boss the short version, people I’ve just met get the socially correct answer.  However, my husband and my good friends just have to love me like this!

The most successful friendships I’ve had have always been with a compatible personality.  Someone who will let me talk- make me feel like my details are appreciated.  Someone who doesn’t want to compete with me for time to talk.  A similar personality to mine is probably not going to work out.

I once told a guy that chocolate is the key to my heart, but that wasn’t true. Listening is the fastest way in and questions, feedback and sympathy are sure to seal the deal.

I can talk for hours. I find myself very fascinating.  Is that the first-born daughter in me? The self-interest? The easiest way for me to fill silence is by talking about myself.  I’ve been working on a filter, but it’s a constant battle. 

I love learning about my friends too. Their experiences, the reasons behind their decisions, their thoughts on different theories.  But, it’s a struggle to keep from butting in with my own additions.

Blogging is a great outlet and I love each one of you for reading it regularly.  I hope I’m keeping it interesting enough for you all!

The one where I brag- about me as well as Reed!

Life has been so fun and so busy lately.  I don’t know where the time is going, but somehow it’s May! At least I know I’m not the only one feeling like I have my head sticking out the window of a speeding train and life is a blur of beautiful colors whirring by. However hard it is to make out the shapes and details- it’s still amazing, fun and breathtaking!

I need to take a moment to brag here for a second.  I don’t think you guys realize how abusive I am to my creative talent.  The moments when I feel inspired and words are bubbling up inside me- I usually have my hands full.  I’ll be feeding Bryce a bottle, holding him in my arms and looking into his blue eyes, when the thoughts and ideas start rolling through.  I might be sitting at Reed’s bedside in the dim light of his lamp, reading him a book and looking at the way he’s just kicking back and listening to my voice and I think, “I never want to forget this moment”.

But I have to wait!  I have to save it all up- keep a couple notes in my phone so I don’t forget topics, and then when, or mostly, IF the boys nap at the same time- I can plop down and throw open the laptop.  GO! I tell my fingers. Hurry! You have precious few minutes here, so get going!  Its difficult, let me tell you.  Writers block is not an option.  There’s no warm up exercises- I just have to start typing and hope that something intelligible shows up on the screen.  I apologize deeply for the times when it doesn’t and you end up trying to decipher my ramblings.

So I have to applaud myself for being able to pound this out on demand.

I want to talk about some of the things Reed is saying and doing right now.  I’m sure I’ve mentioned that he knows all the letters of the alphabet. He can both identify when asked, “Reed, what letter is this?” or if asked, “Reed, where’s the letter S?”  But that’s been months ago- well before his 18 month mark, so now we’re working on the sound that the letter makes.  We are also teaching him the shapes of the states, so you can ask him, “Reed, where’s Oklahoma?”  His Cars book has a few of them, so he can point out Oklahoma, Texas, California, Arizona… the others are sketchy and hit or miss at this point.

Reed has started putting sentences together.  The one we probably hear the most is “Oh no, Reed.”  This probably means he fell (he doesn’t cry when he gets hurt unless its pretty serious).  At 19 months he said, “Yay school bus!” when he saw a bus, so I asked him, “Reed do you want to go to school today?”  He said, “No.  No Yay School”.  I guess school wasn’t “yay” that day!  Unfortunate, because he had to go anyway, but it made me really happy because he was expressing his feelings about it. Two weeks later I made him an omelet for breakfast and when I set it in front of him he said, “Mommy. Cook. Egg.”  Mike and I both got so excited to hear him say that!  He repeated it to himself over and over.  

Then last week right before he hit 20 months he put two of his regular phrases together into one big one.  He likes to point out that I’m driving so he’ll say, “Mommy drive. Mommy drive.  Reed, no drive” He likes to sit in the front seat when we get home and play at the wheel while we’re parked in the garage.  He also likes to point out our vehicles so he’ll say, “Mommy’s car” and “Dad’s truck”.  Well, last week Mike and I had switched vehicles so I could take the double stroller to the zoo and Reed said, “Mommy drive- Dad’s truck”. 

These kinds of things make me act like I’m on drugs.  There is no casual and calm praise given, no.  It’s a high pitched flurry of praises coming out of my mouth like a machine gun.  “Reedthat’ssogreat! You’resosmart! YoujustsaidMommyDriveDad’sTruck! That’ssogood! You’reamazing! ILoveYousoMUCH! GreatJobReed!!! You’resosmart! I’msoProudofYOU!”

Pretty amazing the stuff you’re capable of when you become a mom.  You know the super-powers that you get just for becoming a parent? They’re supposed to be things like super human strength (lifting a car off your child) or lightning fast speed (catching your baby from falling off a tall landing at the playground) usually to save your child’s life.  So far my only super-power has been lighting fast speed of the mouth and superhuman strength of the vocal chords.

I know he thinks I’m a goofball.  I’m subscribed to the “praise good behavior” school of thought.  He said “bup” for a long time and then changed to “mup” before finally sounding out the word milk correctly. When he did, I made such a scene that he looked at me with twinkling eyes and a half smile like- “wow, Mom. Okay, I’ll call it milk from now on.”  The shower of kisses, hugs and chanting, “Yousaidmilk! Yousaidmilk!”  made him feel pretty darn good.

One of the sweetest things is when he hears Bryce crying and he says in his sing-song voice, “Bryyyyce”.  Sometimes he wants to put his pacifier in for him, but sometimes he just keeps doing whatever he’s doing and calls out to Bryce, as if just the sound of his brother’s voice will call the little guy down.

We drove to Fayetteville last weekend for a weekend of bike racing and Reed has been cheering, “GO MIKE!” and “GO CRAIG” ever since.  I don’t think he’s realized who “Mike” is yet.  He likes to say it because he gets us to chuckle and the kid sure has a sense of humor, so he likes to be funny.  Saturday afternoon was the road race and Mike came in a few minutes after the lead pack.  I said, “Oh man, Reed. Dad got dropped.”  When Mike circled back around and came to talk to us, the first thing his little toddler says to him is, “Dad dropped” (in a very disappointed voice, no less!) He’s a mocking bird, and not only did he pick up what I said, and my tone- but he repeated it over and over for hours!! Poor Mike!!

It was a great weekend, though. Both boys did really well with the trip and we had lots of fun at not only the races but the park nearby and the hotel pool. Our friends Josie, Matt and Luke were also there for the races, so that made it fun to have good friends around.

We are looking forward to the next one!