Today's message is dedicated to Mike, my wonderful husband.
Can I start by saying how handsome he is? *grin* I know, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder but truly, I know it's not just me being in love with him.
So years and years ago after I got out of a bad relationship, I was talking to my mom on the phone about how I was never going to let that happen again. I remember we talked about red-flags and decided the best thing is to just know what you want and stick to it. No more excuses for dirtbags, if they don't match up to the list then they're out and I'm moving on. So my mom asks me, okay, what's on the list? What do you want in a guy?
He has to be a gentleman, classy and sophisticated, I told her. On the other hand, he still has to be a goofball and be able to make me laugh. I want him to be driven and a successful professional with athletic hobbies. I went ahead and threw in the tall dark and handsome, since that was my type anyway. I knew I wanted a guy who was fit and at that point in my life I thought... why would a guy like that want a girl like me anyway? So I got a gym membership- I knew what I was going to have to do to attract this guy and I needed to get on top of it!
So there was some self discovery going on here. I was laying out the rules for what was going to be acceptable in my life as well as building myself back up, from scratch. Building my confidence and banishing negative self talk. The little jingle that resonated through my thoughts (and had since I was a small tyke) "You've got to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative and don't mess with mister in between!" My mom bought a little stuffed bear for me, he was white with a black bow-tie and a note that said, "A classy guy for a classy lady" This was to remind me of my commitment to find the man of my dreams and not settle for less. This bear sat on the dashboard of my car for a long time, and I still have him. *grin*
Well, I met Mike. We start dating and I'm gushing to my mom every other day about how amazing he is. He picks me up for dinner on our first real date and I open the door to find a bouquet of pink star-gazer lilies. The first words out of my mouth were, "How did you know!!??" Most guys would show up with roses, right? (if you're lucky). Of course he didn't know they were my favorite flowers and he didn't know that I despised roses for their "easy way out" symbolism. He also hands me a gift. A small pink and black spiral notebook with a velvet dress on the cover which reads, "Like your favorite little black dress, character never goes out of style." I open the book to find a note indicating this book is so I have a place to record my memories, "and look, I get to be on the first page! -Mike"
As I describe him to my mom and tell her about how he chased me and tickled me the previous night, she says... "Connie. Do you realize? He has everything on your list." I said, "Wow, you're right! I found the man of my dreams!"
So, that's how it all started.
I have a million memories of exciting dates, thoughtful gestures, tender moments, unexpected surprises and just downright genuine acts of love that make a girl wonder if she even deserves to be loved this way. What could I have ever done to earn this kind of happiness? Surely there's another girl out there that deserves him more than me. Someone who saves lives, makes a difference in the world, has a great list of accomplishments and experiences. What have I done?
Who knows why he fell in love with me, I'm just glad he did! Ha! I'll tell you, though. Maybe that's where the motivation all stemmed from. Mike's the guy who sparked something in me. Motivated me to do things I never thought I could do. I picked up a paintbrush for the first time in 6 years when I hadn't painted since high school because he said, "You're an artist?? Paint me something!" I ran 5ks, 10ks, did triathlons and bike races. I'll never forget his words after my first 5k running race, he said, "I'm so proud of you right now I think my heart could actually bust of out my chest!" Wouldn't that make you want to do it again and again!!??
When I was laid off from my job in April '09 I took a huge hit to my ego. I was devastated and confused, because I thought I'd just lost my identity. Mike made me feel like I could do anything. His support and encouragement was unwaivering. He says, "what do you love to do?" I picked a few of my strengths and paired them with a few of my passions and marched into the bike shop to tell the owner he needed a marketing specialist... the owner said yes, and I was hired! Then I had to go back to school to learn about marketing and business! I was nervous and self conscious after 10 years but Mike was there to quiz me before tests, read and edit papers, listen to concerns and pump me full of encouragement the whole way. The bike shop path didn't last but school was actually fun (things are always more fun when you completely rock at it) and Mike brags about me and how well I've done. I recently received a letter from the college stating that I was nominated and invited to be in the honors program. Mike forwarded it to our parents with some very proud comments!
The amount of time that Mike spends supporting and encouraging me cannot be adequately estimated and the resulting benefits cannot be adequately appreciated. I used to consider myself a great cheerleader. Standing at the finish line waiting for Mike, his friends envied him because their wives didn't come and had other things to do. It turns out, I’m not the biggest cheerleader in my house. I couldn’t ask for a better husband. He never stops seeing the best in me he never doubts me. I wish I could see myself the way he does :o)
Which brings us to my 37th week of pregnancy. He has flawlessly supported me through these months. We've both read multiple books and magazines on pregnancy, child-birth, and parenting. Knowing that he's excited, involved, and in preparation is a sweet gift. To see his face when his hand is resting on my growing belly and our son pushes out, (what I call giving him a "high-five") makes me love him even more. Who knew I even could? We've learned so much about each other, how to communicate with each other, how to fill each other's needs. Its hard to imagine that I could love him more and yet each time that thought enters my mind I think of how much more I love him than I did the last time I thought that!
I want to end with this story, or else I'll be here all day and I really should get the laundry started and start working on my to-do list.
I don't work on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I'm home alone the majority of the day in mostly silence, save for the radio. Mike comes home one day and says, "So, how was your day?" Because he's really polite like that and always lets me yap for about 20 minutes (that could be a conservative estimate). I'm telling him all about my day and finally come to asking him in return how his day was. He starts talking and with a few sentences of his voice carrying through the room, our baby suddenly lights up like a firecracker ricocheting and bouncing off the walls! When I tell him, his eyes mist over.
He's really going to be a daddy. I'm really going to be a mommy. The love we have for each other has created another person. How amazing is that?
