The one about Christmas 2011

Where did the time go?  One minute I’m watching the stack of presents grow under the tree and waiting oh so impatiently for Christmas, the next minute I’m surrounded by the shreds of paper and crushed cardboard boxes.  I knew this month would go fast. December always does.  I don’t think there is an actual month between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I mean, sure the calendar makes it appear that way, but we all know that it’s a big conspiracy.

Reed was spoiled for Christmas, not surprisingly.  He has too many people that want to put a smile on his face- so of course the UPS man made several trips to our house in the last few weeks.  Lucky for us, Reed didn’t remember what the shiny wrapped packages meant.  He’d forgotten since his birthday was four months ago, that beneath the bright paper and tape was something meant to entertain him and drive us crazy.

Since Christmas was on a Sunday, it felt like a 4 day holiday.  Friday night we did a Christmas light bike ride around Nicols Hills.  We bundled up in hats, mittens, scarves, and heavy coats.  We made a warm rice pack for Reed’s lap, a thermos of hot cocoa and hauled our bikes down to the meeting place near Mike’s office.  Chesapeake does amazing lights throughout their campus.  Wrapping every branch of every tree.  It’s beautiful, and a tradition for families all over the city to drive through the area to watch the trees twinkle.  Reed rode snug and warm in his trailer to the Starbucks on May & 63^rd where we all parked stopped for cocoa and pastries.  Reed, the life of the party, made it a point to mingle the crowd and get plenty of approving smiles.  
The ride back was a little more chilly as it was getting later, but we passed some extravagant Christmas light displays on the way!  The morning of Christmas eve, we all opened one gift.  The normal family tradition is to open them on Christmas eve-eve, but we figured it was Saturday morning and we could use the amusement. Reed opened his new table and chair set that Grandma and Grandpa Franklin sent.  Mike assembled it and Reed has loved it ever since. He knows it’s his own space to sit and have his snacks or read his books. He loves being a big boy.

Mike bought me a portable Bluetooth Bose speaker so I can play great sounding music from my iphone or ipod.  I have Pandora premium on my phone, so we streamed one of the Christmas channels the whole rest of the day.  Mike opened a long sleeved Orbea team bike jersey that I got him to match his new road bike. He wore it on his 50 mile ride that afternoon.

Christmas morning was pretty sweet.  It took Reed hours – literally hours, to open presents.  He was very distracted by each gift he opened and most of the time just wandered off into the pantry to find a snack or go climb on a chair.  He was spoiled with so many great gifts, as were both Mike and I.  One thing I thought was really special is that both sets of Reed's grandparents sent a record-able story book!  It took me by surprise - how special that Reed can now sit down with a book and hear his grandmas read to him.  I thought for sure they must have talked to each other about it- but nope, it turned out to be a coincidence!  Mike's mom sent a "Cars" storybook that she read to him and my mom sent one about the story of Christmas.

Reed also got the dancing, singing, drumming Elmo that has fascinated him at the store for weeks.  Thanks to his Uncle Coy and Cory- he can now torture the toy in his own home. 
I only wish I had taken more pictures on Christmas day.  We started out really good- taking a bunch, but then we put the camera down and didn't end up taking very many after all.  Reed looked so cute dressed up for church- he always does.

We headed to Cassie and Keith’s to share Christmas lunch with their family before church service at 3pm and on the way home Reed’s mood took a dramatic swing.

We spent the afternoon trying to comfort him and just knew something was wrong. He cried and writhed in pain but we didn’t know what was wrong. We tried giving him a bath as a distraction but he slumped against me and fell asleep.  On the way out of the tub and into the towel in Mike’s arms he started vomiting. This was the first time Reed has ever been sick to his tummy. He’s had sinus infections and colds- but never this.  It was so sad to see him exhaust himself emptying everything in his belly.  
The rest of the evening he spent sleeping it off and when he woke at 9:30pm he was happy as a hippo looking around at all his toys and wanting to play.  But, we brushed his teeth and put him to bed.  The next morning our resilient little man popped up like nothing had ever happened.

I hate not knowing what made him sick- was it something he ate? Was it a bug he picked up? I guess we’ll never know, but I’m so thankful that he kicked it so quickly!

The one about “amnesia”

Almost 1 year and 4 months ago I had a baby. In a few weeks I’ll be going into labor again to give birth to my second son.
When I was little I heard stories of mommies having babies and how horrible of an event it was. Sometimes the mommies even died! I heard about this through a country song on the radio, so I knew that it must have been at least as common as rodeo cowboys with long distance lovers. The screaming, sweating, irate women on TV scared the ever living out of me! In any case, I wanted my own baby by the time I was 9. This is mostly due to the fact that I was consistently reassured throughout my childhood that moms are given the gift of amnesia regarding labor and delivery and the reason they continue to have babies is because they forget the pain, forget the fear, and forget generally all negative memories of it. I accepted this information and proceeded forward with my plan.

However, I now realize that I never fully completed my research. I should have included an expected onset date for the amnesia. Perhaps if I had an ETA, I could have planned the spacing between my children better. I suppose I was under the impression that I would forget within the first few weeks of the baby’s life.

Here I am creeping up on my due date and each time I allow myself to think about the delivery I experience a significant amount of anxiety. I have experienced this anxiety throughout the whole pregnancy, all the while fully expecting my “amnesia” to set in at any time.

The problem, you see, is that I do remember. I remember the pain, I remember the frustration I had with myself for not being able to make it easier, I remember the hopeless feeling that it wasn’t going to end. I remember trying to make decisions based on the least amount of sacrifice and the safest, healthiest outcome. I remember fighting to stay strong and determined, while battling wanting to give up (not that it was an option, but it was the state of mind). I remember squirming both physically and mentally and searching desperately for relief.

Reed’s birth, as beautiful and wonderful as the event was- was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. Afterwards, I was very focused on the outcome (baby Reed) and had detached myself somewhat from the journey it took to get there. Plus there was plenty to distract us those first few days in the hospital, with all the tests and procedures Reed had to endure.

I also hadn’t fully realized at the time, just how much in jeopardy Reed’s life was during his birth. It was clearly spelled out on our discharge paperwork, which I read after coming home from the hospital. (I pushed for nearly 3 hours. At the end, Reed got stuck at his chest and was without life support for 3 minutes, because the birth canal had clamped his umbilical cord.)

I was in labor for 28 hours. I promise you, I remember each of those 28 hours. Gave up at 12 hours and got the epidural, which I initially declined and was determined not to have, then pushed for over 2 and a half hours before having my baby whisked across the room before I could even lay eyes on his tiny face.

I’m planning on this labor being a completely different story- but the key word here is “Labor”, which it still will be. Either way, I’m pushing this baby out.

I want to have this baby, but I don’t really want to have this baby. I also don’t want a c-section; I can’t imagine trying to care for an infant and a toddler while recovering from surgery!
This blog post may have some of you thinking what weenie I am. Especially you moms out there, but that can be explained. You were fortunate enough to experience the amnesia that I was so crudely robbed of. This fear and anxiety that I’m having about my “D-day” is clearly evidence of that!

The one about Reed #2

Everyone keeps saying, “This Christmas is going to be so fun with Reed!” To which I want to reply, “Every day is fun with Reed!”  I don’t mean to downplay what they’re trying to say, I know they mean that he’s going to understand more this year and have fun opening presents on Christmas morning.  But, what I say is true- every day is fun with Reed!

He cracks me up every single day with his mischievous smile, his stubborn independence and his sly charm.  The expressions he can come up with are downright hilarious sometimes. 

Reed is learning at such an incredible rate that we have to consciously remember to keep up with him and challenge him mentally. 

At his friend, Luke’s birthday, Reed impressed the other moms and Luke’s grandma.  Multiple times she commented on what a difference 3 months makes.  It’s true!  I can’t wait for either of our parents to see Reed again.  My mom was here for his birthday in August and Mike’s mom saw him last when she came in September for my birthday.  He has grown and changed significantly.  Even in his face and his body, I feel that he is turning into a boy and I see much less of my little baby. 

This will be our last Christmas with only one baby- next year Reed’s brother will be here to share it with him and the family traditions will start to solidify.  I can only imagine the mischief they will cause together and the scams they will come up with!  When I think about my own childhood, I can only shake my head and brace myself for what I have coming to me. 

I’m sure you’re wondering, so I’ll address the name issue.  Yes, this baby is still nameless.  We haven’t spent much time or effort trying to resolve the matter, mostly because it makes me really anxious.  Some people have told me to “just wait till he’s born and figure it out in the hospital” but that is the worst option I can think of!  Nothing could make me more stressed out about it- I definitely need to know before-hand.  Sitting there in the hospital trying to fill out the papers and not being able to put pen to paper and feeling completely rushed into something is not the way I want to name my child.

I still don’t understand why it can’t be as easy as it was with Reed.  I just want to be sure. I want to know without a doubt that we are choosing the right name for the baby.  I am even starting to doubt my desire to have his initials be the same as mine.  What if he doesn’t like being named after his mom?  What if he feels less of a man because Reed’s middle name is after his dad, but his name is based on mom? 

Could I over-analyze this more?  :o) Probably not!

He sure looks like Reed.  We had an ultrasound recently and when they flipped it over to 3D, he had his hands in front of his face.  But, a couple of times he would shift just enough to catch it at an angle where we could see most of his face, and all I could see was Reed. Maybe we’ll just name him Reed #2.

 That’s a terrible idea, forget I said that! 

The one where we all fall ill

I now realize why they include “in sickness and in health” in wedding vows. Maybe they should also have you sign something similar in the hospital after you deliver a baby. I really don’t want to complain or make this post come out sounding whiny and negative, but I do want to update and inform!  For four weeks now I’ve been in a battle with mucus. It started out as painful chest pressure which developed into a nasty cough.  I was sleeping in the guest room so that I could just cough freely and get up as needed without disturbing anyone.  My nights were extremely long and restless. Each week things evolved in some form as I took my rounds of antibiotic, which I am convinced were sugar pills.  At this point, it’s mostly in my sinuses, the cough is down to just the necessity and I’m healing from the rib injury that this all caused last week.

I know it sounds crazy to you and me, but both my PCP and my OB weren’t surprised when I told them about the snapping/popping I felt in my ribs.  The diagnosis is fuzzy, fractured rib- broken cartilage- a joint that connects the ribs, in any case it’s excruciating pain.  Last Thursday when it happened, I felt helpless. I couldn’t move any part of my body without swearing from the pain. I felt like I’d been pulled into a very dark place and I couldn’t get an emotional release because even when I tried to cry about it – the pain in my ribs ended that, too.

Now I’m suffering from all of the over compensating I’ve been doing for my right side.  I try to do everything with my left (open doors, steer the car, grab things off a shelf or out of a drawer) and I have to lean and hold my side in order to cough.  This causes a lot of tweaking throughout the rest of my body.  Ah, the human body! What an amazing thing it is that everything works together and not one single part is isolated.  It’s just too easy to acquire an injury somewhere else while trying to heal from the original one!

This all started just before Thanksgiving.  I know we’re not the only ones either- I can scroll through my facebook newsfeed at any given moment and someone is complaining about being sick.  The crap is going around.  We even canceled our trip to Indiana because Mike’s family was passing around a stomach bug and on top of that Reed woke up with an unexplained fever on Wednesday morning that didn’t go away until halfway through Saturday!  Poor Reedster! He’s a trooper though.  I have to applaud his resilience.  He was whiny and needy each time the fever spiked above 103, but the rest of the time he was very smiley and happy as he ran around with a 100-101 degree temperature.

We even took our family pictures during his fever days! 

This past Sunday Mike finally fell from his throne.  Through all of this, he hadn’t waivered at all.  Healthy as an ox, or something.  He spent a couple of days down with the stomach bug and it was hard for Reed and me to see him that way.  Mike is our rock! We get sick and he takes care of us, and that’s the way it works!  So, it was hard to see him suffering from chills, snuggled under blankets, eyelids drooping and all I could do was stand there and feel helpless.    

The one about "Dad"

Reed loves his dad.  This is one amazing phenomenon.  One of his first words was Dad.  He loves dad's hats, dad's shoes, dad's truck, dad's bikes.  He wants dad to put him to bed at night and wake him up in the morning. I'm not even exaggerating.  This morning Mike had an early flight out for a business trip and was gone before Reed or I woke up, so when Reed started to stir I went in, scooped him up and brought him back to bed with me for some snuggling.  He kept whispering in his sleepy voice, "Dad. Dad. Dad."  Then he'd snuggle for a few minutes before looking around the room and again whispering, "Dad? Dad? Dad?"  Even when I stopped at the grocery store yesterday after picking him up from school, I went around the car to get him out and as soon as I opened the door Reed was asking, "Dad? Dad? Dad?"
Last week when the car was in the shop, I was driving the truck so when I picked him up after work and he saw the truck parked outside he immediately perks up and shouts, "Dad!"
Nope, buddy. Just Mom.
At random times during the day when we are home together, he will stand at his bedroom window, which looks out at the driveway and call to Dad.  If only it were possible to just summon him like that, but it's not so he's stuck here with chopped liver.
Reed will bring dad's shoes out of the closet, place them on the floor in front of him, and try to get his feet in.  With some help this can be accomplished and Reed beams with pride because he's in dad's shoes at last!
It took nearly two months for him to use the word Mom and when he finally did, I melted like sugar in water.  Well, I melted when he finally used it in the correct context.  The first time his mouth formed the word "momma" he was reading his Lion King book and when he turned to the last page, he points right at a picture of Pumba splashing in the mud and says clear as day, "Momma!" This was just over two weeks ago, almost exactly two months after saying "Dad" (which feels like a year!)  If you haven't seen the video, click here.  I posted it on my youtube channel.  Shortly afterward he started using the word correctly.  I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I found it really interesting how Reed seemed to take my existence for granted (if that's the right way to put it).  He has a photo album that he flips through while sitting in his highchair and it has lots of family photos.  Besides Dad, one of his first favorites was "Uncle Coy", he liked trying to say the words and he would automatically flip to the page and point to my brother with a big smile. Then he started recognizing others.  You could ask him, "Where's Grandma? Where's Aunt Jessie? Where's Grams?" But if you asked him, "Where's Mom?" He would give a blank look as if I asked him the square root of 6351.  If I turned to a page with me on it and asked, "Who's that?" he would just turn the page to someone else who was apparently more interesting.  It was like I'm some kind of vampire that doesn't show up in photographs. I might as well have been pointing to blank space.
There are theories to explain this- He feels too close to me, more like a part of him than a separate person.  Some people say M's are harder to say than D's. Sure, but if my son can say "Cookie" then he sure as hell can say Mom.  Plus he says other M words, like "more". So, that theory is crap.
It doesn't matter anymore- for two weeks he's been saying Mom now, so I'm the happiest girl on the block.  When he wants me, he lets me know it.  Usually its when I'm in the bathroom.  I suppose being inaccessible is more appealing, because once I'm behind a closed door I hear the stomping of his little feet approaching and his "Mom! Momma! Mom!" Followed by the flip of the door handle and the bright, mischievous smile of my 15 month old staring right at me!

The one where I get cold feet

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose- by any other name would smell as sweet."
On the other hand, a name is a big deal.  A name is a lifetime commitment that we don't even get to choose for ourselves.  A name doesn't determine a personality, no, but it still sets some sort of tone for the person's image.

We will name this baby and it's not going to change who he is, I understand that. However, when we settled on the name Bryce, I thought it was the right choice because it was Mike's favorite. It wasn't my top name, but of course I did like it.  Mike and I often make decisions based on a point system.  He rates it on a scale of 1-10 based on how much he likes it or how important it is to him and I do the same.  Whoever out scores the other wins.  It's not a competition and we both play fair so that the system continues to work.  When deciding between two names we add our scores together and the top scoring name wins.  Mike's top choice out-scored mine and I wanted a name that we both liked.  

I also felt a very strong need to chose a name once they were sure it was a boy.  I had so many emotions tied up in the baby being a girl and it was hard for me to accept and connect.  I felt that if we named him and I could start calling him by it then he would become real and I could let go of the little baby girl in my head.  So maybe I was rushed into the name.  Maybe I should have given it more time.
Maybe I'm just having good old fashion cold feet about the whole thing because we are now two months out from the birth of this baby.  I have been perfectly fine calling him Bryce for almost three months now, so why the sudden doubt?  I know I only want two children, so maybe it's because this is the last name I will ever choose for a child, so I'm putting too much weight on it. 
Every time I tell myself that the name has been chosen and I should just stop thinking about it- I get a panicky feeling in my gut that shouts "NO!"  After a few days I realized I couldn't ignore it.
I felt terrible bringing it up to Mike. It felt so unfair to go back on my decision.  I'm not the only one naming this baby, of course, and he's grown very connected to the name.  Now I'm asking him to open his mind to more options again?  Unlikely story. 
What I know is that it suddenly felt wrong to call him Bryce. I imagined him running around the house, playing with Reed, laughing- and it wasn't Bryce.  One of my main issues is that I found a few people I know have named their daughters Bryce.  My boys need manly names. I don't want any hint of feminine quality to it.
But at one point I was completely fine committing to the name, so that's why I don't get why I'm having the cold feet.  This never happened with Reed.  I was one hundred percent committed to his name from minute we made the decision, which was about two weeks after we saw the positive on the stick.  The name felt right all the way to my bones.  Maybe it's unrealistic to think I could have that again, I know a lot of people struggle with names.  Many of my friends couldn't even name their baby until after birth because they needed to look into their baby's face.  I had never understood that, but now I'm beginning to see how names aren't so cut and dry all the time.  How they aren't so easily predetermined. 



I'm open to advice or comments if anyone wants to help me get through this!

The one where Reed gets a new bed

Our little Reedster is in the transition phase from crib to toddler bed and boy is he excited about it!  Our hope was to move him before he started climbing out of his crib.  He's had his bed now for over a week and sleeps in it for naps every couple of days.  If he is fighting the nap then he has to be in the crib because he's trapped and will eventually lay down.
On Thursday, Reed fell asleep in the car so I put him in his bed to nap.  After two and a half hours, I was in the office doing some homework and I heard the handle of his door turn and then the tiny shuffle of his feet.  When I saw him in the hallway my heart immediately melted into a puddle!  He had a smile spread across his face and his Tigger tucked into his arms as he toddled toward me.  I couldn't help but swoop to the floor to squeeze my tiny man in my arms.
Like I said, we are in transition, so we'll see how long it takes Reed to be officially moved over.  He sleeps on a small cot at school and does really well, usually 2+ hour naps.  I don't think it will be much longer before his crib is officially retired!

The one about forward facing

Who knew that turning your car sear around was such a touchy subject?  I didn't even really consider it a topic of conversation, in fact, with the majority of my friends I haven't even brought it up.
Most of my friends' kids are older than Reed, either by months or even a year, but not much more.  So most of my friends have turned their kids around and it wasn't an event that was announced to me.  Everyone makes their own decisions based on the information they are provided (or seek) and decide what is important to them.
For Mike and me, safety is a big one and there are certain things that deserve some risk assessment.  We did our research, considered the sources, and weighed our options.  As with most aspects of parenting, I will not outwardly judge people for not choosing the same as I do.  I will, however, reserve the right to judge them silently if I so chose!  Epidurals, breastfeeding, cloth vs disposables, starting solids, sleep training, etc.  These are all things that require proper assessment as well as lifestyle compatibility.
Based on some sources, experts recommend turning your child around in the car once they are agile enough on their feet to navigate a variety of changing terrain.  Yes, Reed is 100% eligible in that area.  Some experts note that at 12 months of age, the baby's spinal cord is finally the same length as the spinal column- the importance of this is that if the baby is forward facing and you're involved in a collision, then their head is thrown forward - which causes the spinal column to stretch beyond the elasticity of the spinal cord causing the spinal cord to snap.  A fatal result, and not worth it in my opinion.
The number one reason Mike and I are waiting to turn Reed around is just purely because it is safer.  Most collisions happen with the driver breaking or being hit from behind- causing that head to be thrown forward again.  However, a rear facing baby is pushed deeper into their car seat and avoids the risk of whip-lash.  Here we are halfway through November and entering the worst season for driving conditions.

The only drawback we have encountered is his dirty shoes on the leather seats.  Oh yes, and the space that it takes up in the car- preventing one of the front seats from being able to adjust back if the passenger needs more leg room.  This is how we feel about it right now, we are fortunate that Mike and I both agree on it (yay!) so when Reed's baby brother is born, and we have two car seats in the car, we'll probably turn Reed around then.
The point is, it surprises me when people see that Reed is still rear-facing and then I'm interrogated about it. I didn't comment when I noticed they turned their child around.  Trust me- I'm not one of those over-protective parents.  Spend 10 minutes with Reed and me and you'll see that.  He gets plenty of opportunities to harm himself in dangerous environments.  Close your eyes if you come to the park with us, because I promise you'll get nervous when you see the pregnant lady letting her toddler climb to the top of the playground!

The one about Mr. Deliberate

Reed is a man who knows what he wants. From what to snack on to what to play with, he makes each choice a conscious decision.  I’ve noticed over the last couple of months that he doesn’t accidentally end up in situations anymore.  He walks into a room with a purpose, he opens a toy bin with a specific need to fill and I almost think he’s thought through exactly what he’s doing next before he even takes a step. If Mike is lying on the floor, Reed will crawl on his back, saddle up, and expect a ride.  When he marches into the kitchen looking for me, he comes straight up to my legs, forces me to turn around so I’m facing him, looks me directly in the eye and says, “Puh! Puh!” Translated, this means “up, up”. Each day when I drop him off at school, he enters his classroom and within a couple of minutes he pulls out a chair at the table, sits himself in the seat, and slaps a hand on the table with a look that says, “Snack! Now, woman!”

He chooses a book and brings it to me or Mike, all the while babbling in his own language but asking if we’ll read it to him, then once he hands the book to us, he turns around and sits right into our lap.  Putting this down in black and white- it seems so small and insignificant, but it puts such a big smile on our faces.  There is such a difference between a time when we chose a book and sat him in our laps- it has turned around now, and Reed is the one initiating the activity.

For approximately the last week, he’s started loving on his stuffed animals.  He hugs his Tigger up to the side of his face and grins while I say, “aww, you love Tigger. That’s so sweet, Reed.”  He gets such a positive reaction from me for showing affection that he has continued to hug on all of his stuffed animals and blankets. Reed has never been into his lovey, a pony blanket named Chester, but he has started carrying him around.  It’s funny because it almost makes him seem more like a baby even though he’s doing it as a toddler and never did it as a baby.

As I’ve mentioned before, I love taking Reed to different activities and getting him involved. Part of this is because I love encouraging his social side and watching him interact with others.  I also love the opportunity to observe the differences in personalities.  Since Reed is my only child for the time being, I like to compare and evaluate his mannerisms and behaviors with other kids his age.  I have found that I am always satisfied with my assessment – if not just downright proud of my little man. He is tough, resilient, and easy going. During play groups he almost never throws fits or gets upset when someone takes a toy from him or knocks him down.  He does however take things from other kids, which I try to remedy by distracting him with something even better while returning the toy to it’s previous owner.  

Something I find interesting is that he explores things that other kids don’t even notice or care to consider.  For example, at the library during “Lapsit”, he will squeeze behind a toy shelf and when I peek at him he’s beaming.  It seems as though he just loves finding hidden places that no one else has explored.  During Gymboree last weekend, he was content playing away from the other kids for a little while, but also took a much greater interest in a large stuffed toy that the other kids hardly noticed.  Mike said the instructor encouraged the children to come up and feel the toy and play with it, but Reed was the only one who was interested.  I sometimes wonder if he does this sort of thing just for approval, so we will all be proud and praise him.  Smart boy.

The one where Reed gets a haircut (again)

Before- Reed's hair was getting pretty shaggy. His curls were adorable! This gives him that fun-loving, approachable, likeable guy look.  This is the guy who might lose your number and not call you back- but he'll charm his way back into your heart next time you run into him.

 

 After- Mr. Clean Cut.  This is business now.  He follows all the rules, goes after what he wants. Determined, loyal and a natural leader. Reed is searching for his career. He has four interviews lined up. He just needs to decide what to wear! 

 

The one about Halloween

I have to tell you about how fun Halloween was this year. I realized that I love this time of year because there are plenty of activities going on and lots of options for things to do. I’ve always loved festivals and parties and now I have someone to use an excuse to go!  

Reed’s school held their Halloween Party the Thursday before- complete with indoor games, food and a live band, followed by Trunk or Treating in the church parking lot. We hosted a trunk this year (first time) and quickly realized how expensive that can be! Although it was a chilly and rainy evening, the stream of children was non-stop.  They’re assuming the turnout was around a thousand kids and I believe it. We ran out of candy in 20 minutes and had to take donations from the party staff just to keep our trunk open.

Reed’s costume was a hit!  People couldn’t contain their adoration of my little UPS man and were falling all over themselves to tell us how cute he looked.

Our church Halloween party wasn’t any different, cameras were coming out of the woodwork to snap a picture of Reed dodging through the crowds.  He’s such a people person, loves to charm the ladies and draw smiles from them.  He enjoyed a couple of games including the duck pond, where he chose a duck and received a prize based on the number written underneath.  He also mastered the football bean bag toss- the game attendant showed him how to do it and once he got the concept, he was digging it and wanted to keep tossing the bean bags through the hole!  He also wanted to flip the board over to get the bean bags back after he’d watched them disappear.  

Reed turned into an expert trick-or-treater, we couldn’t get him to say the words until Monday night on his third attempt, but even then he would only whisper it.  

It was amusing watching him choose a piece of candy from a neighbor’s bowl and put it in his little UPS bag as he turned away and headed for the next stop.  He really had that part of the act down- we’ve all seen how efficient and no-nonsense UPS delivery men are!

Monday night we threw our annual Halloween Party which started with taking the littles around to the neighbors.  Unfortunately one family fell ill and couldn’t make it so only Reed and his friend, Luke, went collecting.  We had a great group that night though, with Keith and Cassie, Courtney and Daniel, and Josie and Matt (with Luke).  Each in their own way are very special friends and easily make our lives here in Oklahoma feel more complete.

The decorations, fantastic meal and wonderful company made it a comfortable and exceptional evening!

Reed and his buddy Luke

For more Halloween Pictures- check out my picasa web album! Click Here!

The one where we have Reed's Parent/Teacher conference

Yesterday was Reed's Parent/Teacher conference.  Mike left the office early and met me at Reed's school when he got out.  I told you that I was nervous about my first official opportunity to be criticized by professional childcare givers, but I had mentally prepared myself to be accepting of ideas and thoughts that they might have.
They were full of praise for Reed!  Mike and I loved hearing that he impressed them with his expanding vocabulary and desire to learn.  They told us about how curious and inquisitive he is each day- eager to learn how things work, turn them upside down to inspect them from all sides, and ask his gibbery questions.  They said he does very well with his fork and spoon- much better than others in the class and that's when they told us how impressed they were with his diet. They said Reed eats better than anyone in the class and they commend me for making nutrition so important in our home. His teachers even told me that sometimes they wish they could refuse to feed what parents bring for the other children because they worry about their cholesterol and blood pressure!
We asked if Reed was behind in any of his skills for a 14 month old and they said no, there wasn't anything they would consider him behind in. We asked if there was anything they thought we should work on with him or ways that we should be challenging him and they said no- he is right on track or advanced in most things.

We asked about biting, sharing, and playing with others. They said he'd only bitten once (I was there) and it hadn't happened before or since.  Sharing was going to be an obstacle for all toddlers for a while, so we shouldn't stress about it and Reed plays really well with the other children.
Basically, when Mike and I left we were very satisfied with how our Reedster is doing developmentally.  Its important for us to get this kind of feedback because we don't have anyone to compare him to, or judge him by (and I know we're not supposed to anyway) but I consider his teachers professionals and they see a side of him that we don't at home.  They also have different rules and schedules and ways of wording things.  It seems that Reed adjusts to change easily and deals with ambiguity very well.
We couldn't be more proud!

The one about preparing for Reed's 1st Parent/Teacher Conference

I should be studying. In fact, that's what I told Mike when he left for the store with Reed.  I have two tests next week, one Monday and one due Wednesday. On the other hand, it's been a couple of weeks and I haven't had time to put a blog out.  Although blogging sounds a bit like goofing off, it's fairly important to me.  For one thing, it helps me express myself creatively, it also keeps my writing skills sharp, and on top of it all it helps me to record this amazing time in my life. 

Reed has parent/teacher conferences coming up and I'm nervous about it!  I tell myself there is no reason to be, but I worry that his teachers are going to drop a monstrous bomb on me.  Something like, Reed is way behind in this, or Reed is much too aggressive, mean, a bully. Maybe it's about me- maybe they're going to tell me that I should be doing something- bathing him more,  disciplining him differently, challenging him.  I don't know, what it it could be but the fear is there.  I will be irritated if they do drop something big on me, because I'm there twice a day, three times a week- picking him up and dropping him off. If they have any concerns then they should tell me instead of waiting two months into the semester.  I value their opinion for a couple of reasons, they have more experience with children his age, and they get to see him interact with other kids all the time.  I want to be open and receptive to their suggestions and comments.  I have a lot to learn about my own child because he's my first and I've never done this before and also because I don't have the opportunity to see him playing with others much.  We have an occasional play date here and there, but these are his classmates and he knows them.
Last week when I went to pick him up- I was early so I stayed and let him play for a little bit while I observed him.  Also, he just didn't seem like he was ready to go- there were things he needed to do (such as flip the plastic kitchen onto its top, push the little police car around, and ride the zebra).  He was like a pin ball in that room- complete with the lights and sounds going off as he bounced from one place to the next.  While I was there I noticed that he's not good at sharing.
He wants what others have, but only until he has it- then he's disinterested. I'm uncomfortable saying that because he actually shares really well at home- mostly with food. He is happy to offer his peas or chicken and he doesn't like to be turned down.  He doesn't take no for an answer.  His teachers have mentioned that he's generous at lunch, so I know they do get to see that. Anyway, I wonder how I'm supposed to be working on that with a nearly 14 month old toddler. 

I will follow up after the meeting and make sure to record the outcome of Reed's first parent/teacher conference. Provided that it's not too embarrassing. Then you will be reading an edited version! 

The one about Reed's first amusement park

My company picnic was at Frontier City- Oklahoma City's only amusement park. Even tho we have lived close for three years and see the Ferris wheel spinning in the sky multiple times a day- we've never been.  Well our tickets for the company party were deeply discounted admission and that's always a very convincing reason to go.  I was anticipating a different reaction from Reed. He didn't love it as much as I thought he would.  He liked it okay, but I really expected him to enjoy it much more.  He loves to be swung around, hung upside down, spun, dropped, and tossed.
His day was perfect- we spent the early afternoon at Mike's bike race and then Reed got a good nap in right before we headed to the amusement park.  I wanted him well rested for all the excitement that was about to go down.  We met up with my coworker, Carrie, who Reed loves and she hung out with us the whole time.  We have her to thank for all the family shots.
The first thing we did was ride the little train around the perimeter of the park.  Reed was sort of in that "post-nap" zone and didn't break out many smiles.  Then I rode the spinning tea-cups with him.  He looked so big sitting next to me buckled in!  He didn't get upset - but like I said, he didn't love it either.  He was approaching the whole thing very seriously.  We spun in our little tea-cup while Mike took pictures and when we were done, Reed showed neither relief nor regret.  Mike and I had different views on the ferris wheel activity.  He was concerned about Reed being afraid of heights and being stuck at the top screaming his lungs out.  My argument was that he really had no depth perception and wasn't going to be able to tell how high we were anyway- my evidence was his persistent nose-dive attempts off the bed.  While we waited in line Reed made sure to point out the colored buckets circling in the sky.  He didn't want us to miss it. While "boarding" the attendant asked us if Reed could walk.  This question elicited many sarcastic comments from the three of us as soon as we were out of ear shot.  Did she mean that if he fell out from the top could he walk? No, could you? Did the ferris wheel require walking these days, because I was under the impression that it was a seated ride. He did pretty well  on the ferris wheel. He was happy as long as he was being held but Mike was right, Reed was not comfortable and very suspicious of the mechanics.
The real fun came when we were touring around the children's area with the small houses lined up.  Hotels, fire station, a jail house and the like lined the street. Reed was in heaven. He just couldn't believe that there were houses with small doors made to fit him and windows that he could see out of.  His favorite was the fire station- a well known obsession with firetrucks fueled this.
Carrie could do nothing but make Reed laugh.  She could have yawned and he'd start cracking up.  I suppose we have her to thank for any pictures we got of him laughing and smiling. Carrie, we are so glad you were able to meet up and hang out with our family that day!
I can't say if we will be going back to Frontier City before my next company picnic- if I had to bet I'd say no.  However, I will be really excited to take him back again next October and see how much more he enjoys it.  Reed is generally very adventurous and out going. We are proud of his independent personality and curious nature.

The one where I turn 30.

Thirty, flirty and thriving? Well, as much as any pregnant girl can be flirty- I suppose I’m doing my best to capture all of the above.  Thriving? Absolutely.  How could I not consider myself thriving?  I have everything I could ask for.  My husband loves me, appreciates me and supports me.  My son inspires me and basically makes my heart beat.  I’m growing and learning and striving every day- my life is not stale.  I have life growing in my belly that I can day-dream about and nurture.  Being a mom gives me purpose. 

Now for the thirty part.  I have dreaded that number for quite a few years. I would say that I’ve dreaded it my whole life, but to be honest- I didn’t start thinking about it until I was about 5 years out.  It wasn’t a very real threat until then.  Mike turned 30 about 2 and a half years ago, and I took that pretty hard.  My stomach did a flippy flop when I told myself, “My husband is 30. Ugh.”  I thought it was a pretty bad sign of how I was going to handle it myself.  I never understood young Jenna’s wish in 13 going on 30.  Who (under 30) would ever wish to be 30? Especially at 13?! Get real!

Luckily, I have the best husband in the whole world.  No offense to all you wives or husbands out there.  It’s true though. I don’t even feel like I’m exaggerating when I say it.  To make my 30^th birthday special, Mike arranged a pretty big surprise and took me to New York City to watch my Giants play their home opener for Monday Night Football.  He had warned me that I wouldn’t be going to school Monday night so I was aware that something was planned, but I had been imagining a party with all my friends, decorations, a cake and all that.

Never would I have imagined I’d be sitting under the stadium lights in the crisp evening air, the cheers of the fans vibrating in my body, knowing I was close enough to hit turf if I wanted to spit on it, but not wanting to inadvertently hit anyone.

I found out about a week early because Mike used my ebay account to purchase the football tickets and I received the push notification to my phone that we had won.  The notification said, “Congratulations! You have won ebay item ‘GIANTS vs RAMS 9/19” I was actually in the bath tub with Reed when I got it and couldn’t help the splashing that resulted from my excitement. We were going to the Giants game!! I started thinking about the logistics… “it’s probably in St Louis, we’re probably driving, staying with the Fousts, taking Reed and leaving him with the Fousts, how kind of them, we will probably leave Saturday and come back Tuesday. Oh what a long drive…”

I called my mom. I had to tell her that I found out about my birthday surprise and I was in a predicament. Do I tell Mike that I know? Do I hide it and let him present the surprise in his own way?? Mom’s response, “I know you’re a good actress, honey, but honesty is always the best policy.” So, when Mike got home, I told him that I loved him very much (as I bounced up and down on the couch) and he said he loved me, too. I said, “I KNOW you do!” Then I told him about the ebay notification.  He was disappointed that he didn’t get to surprise me, but he was relieved that he didn’t have to keep a secret anymore and was ready to share all the plans with me.  I asked him about St Louis and he said, “No, babe. We’re going to NEW YORK.” I peed my pants a little.  He filled me in on our flight and hotel arrangements and said his mom was coming to stay with Reed (oh the conspiracy of it all!)

I began to wonder if I would be okay while away from Reed. I’ve never spent a night away from him and I had to consider that while I thought I would be fine emotionally and mentally- I might actually not be fine.  You never know about these things until you’re actually in the sticky of it.  Add on top of that, the fact that I’m pregnant and you have to consider the effect of pregnancy hormones. I pictured myself breaking down and sobbing in the middle of Times Square, crying, “I need my baby!”  I’m happy to report I was fine.  I missed him in a healthy happy way and just the perfect amount, too.  I thought about him a lot and had to hold back from buying him everything under a neon light. I have to remind myself that he’s growing so quickly that he doesn’t keep clothes around very long.  Then there’s me and my swelling uterus. I’m even less fun to shop for! I want to buy something I can wear now, but it’s such a waste of money!

We stayed up late every night- never making it back to the hotel anywhere near midnight. Date night was a scrumptious steak dinner at Rothman’s Steakhouse, but most meals were “pizza by the slice” whenever we passed one. Fluffy’s Café was our regular breakfast spot where we enjoyed New York breakfast bagels. By the way, a bagel is not a bagel unless it’s New York bagel. (Luckily we have such a place in OKC.)

We rented bikes and rode around Central Park on the beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon. We rode over to the “Seinfeld Diner” which is the store front they used for the sitcom. A peek inside confirmed that they didn’t use the inside for filming ;o) A disappointing comedy club for entertainment that night rounded out the day.

Monday was shopping on 5^th avenue, where I also got my hair cut. I regret not taking a picture of my view from where I sat and got my tresses maimed. It was an incredible view! 

What can I say about the football game so not to bore my readers? I’ve just glanced up at the length of this post and realized I might not have your attention much longer- your watch is ticking away precious minutes of your day!  Emails to answer, online bills to pay, laundry to fold… yet here you are. Maybe.

We took the train to New Jersey, which dropped us off practically at the front doors to the stadium. Security searches and pat downs were in order for all fans and being a lady, I got to stand in a ridiculously short line so I was in way before Mike was. 

The atmosphere of a live NFL game will make your pulse race. My heart felt huge in my otherwise hollow chest, my ears filled with the roar of fans and my eyes sparkled with reflections from the bright stadium lights and animated screens.  Hixon’s TD catch was my favorite catch ever. It was so very exciting and yet I had an empty seat next to me when I turned to celebrate with high fives! I had to catch one from the row below us.  Mike was on a popcorn and mt dew run. 

The Giants won- a surprise to many.  I would have been happy with a loss but only because of the history I have with the Giants and being at their home openers.  In 2007 Mike and I went to NYC for the Giants home opener against Brett Favre and the Packers. They lost the game but went on to win the Super Bowl against the previously undefeated Patriots. So you can see how either way, I would have been happy.  Now, I can’t have a whole lot of hope for the Super Bowl this February.

Reed did great staying home with Grandma. He happily played, learned new words and let himself be spoiled to his core.  We sent him a couple of videos that Grandma played for him on her phone. I wondered if it would upset him by making him realize we weren’t around, but she said he just smiled and went about his activities. Great. I’m glad we’re such important pieces of his life. Of course, I much prefer him to be happy while we’re gone and not sad.  Maybe he needed the break, too!

When they picked us up at the airport, I slid my fingers into the curls at the back of his head, kissed the bridge of his nose and ran my finger along the baby soft skin under his chin- just as I had imagined I would.  Then I proceeded to pretend to eat his face from one side and then the other. He was laughing and smiling until he realized I wasn’t unbuckling him from the car seat. He wanted to be held, so he wasn’t satisfied with me merely getting into the back seat with him.

As I began to recover from my sinus infection that I suffered from over the weekend I was falling prey to the consequences of an hour and a half of sleep. My actual birthday was a tough pill to swallow. Mike and I spend the day sprawled on the living room floor watching Reed play until finally, mercifully, it was bedtime.

New York- wait for me. I will return!  

The one about Reed's baby brother

Bryce at 22 weeks (profile picture of head).

We just got home from our third ultrasound for Reed's baby brother.  With Reed, we only had 2 ultrasounds total because we declined any extra (optional) screenings for problems and birth defects.  Mike and I had decided early on that since we weren't really at risk based on any family history or other factors, then we didn't need to spend the extra time and money.  Of course, we love seeing the ultrasounds, a chance to take a glimpse inside and see what the baby is doing, but not necessary for us in the grand scheme of things.
This baby is giving us less choices.  We've had 3 ultrasounds and are planned for another one in a couple months.We found out a our last appointment that my platelets were slightly low so they wanted to take another look and do the level two ultrasound, which is usually the "down syndrome and birth defects" picture.  We got to take a look at our perfectly healthy/no concerns whatsoever baby in 4D.  And guess what? It's still a boy.  No change there!  Our first ultrasound was at 16 weeks and she said 90% certainty that it's a boy.  At the 19 week appointment- boy.  Now, 22 weeks- boy!  We will schedule another ultrasound between 30 and 32 weeks and I'm sure they'll mention boy again... In fact, this doctor today told us, "if this baby comes out a girl they better be looking around in there for something that fell off!"

Dad teaching Reed to drive.

Yes, it's public knowledge that I wanted a daughter, and over the last few weeks I've battled with some pretty intense emotions.  However, I've come to realize that I'm not the only one affected by the gender of this baby.  God has a plan, I always thought his was inline with mine- but whatever, and maybe he knows what he was doing after all.  Perhaps Reed needs this baby brother.  The difference the gender of this baby makes in his life is astronomical.  Just imagine a few snapshots of his life as a big brother to a little sister.  Reed protecting her, her bossing him around, embarrassing him, them fighting as teenagers and hating the people each other date because they'll never be good enough.  Now imagine some snapshots with a little brother, playing the same sports, wrestling around in the living room, supporting each other and "having each other's backs," they will each be the best man at each other's weddings.  Maybe God specifically wanted Reed to have a little brother because there is some major life event that they need each other for.  I don't know.  Trust me, I've played out my whole life with and without a daughter in my mind's eye.  But only recently did I start to think about the other people involved here.  Mike with a son and a daughter. Mike with two sons.  I believe this was just meant to be. 
When Bryce comes into this world to make his mark, he will prove me right on all counts.  His presence will be so strong and so definite that I couldn't imagine anyone's life without him, especially not my own.


He will be different from Reed. Somehow they will both shine bright and find their own stage with their own spotlight.  Yet they will be brothers and everyone will know them as "The Franklin boys."

Reed at his 1yr appt after shots

I am sometimes so overwhelmed by how completely awesome Reed is that I can't imagine giving my heart to any other boy.  How could anyone measure up?  How is that even fair to expect him to?  Reed is amazing- hilarious, smart, loving, strong and oh boy is he handsome.  I can't look at him without thinking how simply perfect he is.  
I thought that if I had a daughter that would give her all the uniqueness she would need to stand out and apart from Reed. To be her own.  But I know it won't matter.  Bryce will be loved equally and fairly, despite the hand-me-down clothes and toys.  *wink*
My due date is January 19th but I'm expecting the doctor to push it back soon.  At each of the three ultrasounds they have measured Bryce to be about a week behind.  So today, instead of 22 weeks, he looks more like 21 and one day.  This is not an exact science, but since the due date was determined off my last cycle before getting pregnant, I think the ultrasounds are a little more accurate.  Anyway, he will keep growing perfectly and we will worry about due dates and delivery at a much later date!