The one about Christmas 2011

Where did the time go?  One minute I’m watching the stack of presents grow under the tree and waiting oh so impatiently for Christmas, the next minute I’m surrounded by the shreds of paper and crushed cardboard boxes.  I knew this month would go fast. December always does.  I don’t think there is an actual month between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I mean, sure the calendar makes it appear that way, but we all know that it’s a big conspiracy.

Reed was spoiled for Christmas, not surprisingly.  He has too many people that want to put a smile on his face- so of course the UPS man made several trips to our house in the last few weeks.  Lucky for us, Reed didn’t remember what the shiny wrapped packages meant.  He’d forgotten since his birthday was four months ago, that beneath the bright paper and tape was something meant to entertain him and drive us crazy.

Since Christmas was on a Sunday, it felt like a 4 day holiday.  Friday night we did a Christmas light bike ride around Nicols Hills.  We bundled up in hats, mittens, scarves, and heavy coats.  We made a warm rice pack for Reed’s lap, a thermos of hot cocoa and hauled our bikes down to the meeting place near Mike’s office.  Chesapeake does amazing lights throughout their campus.  Wrapping every branch of every tree.  It’s beautiful, and a tradition for families all over the city to drive through the area to watch the trees twinkle.  Reed rode snug and warm in his trailer to the Starbucks on May & 63^rd where we all parked stopped for cocoa and pastries.  Reed, the life of the party, made it a point to mingle the crowd and get plenty of approving smiles.  
The ride back was a little more chilly as it was getting later, but we passed some extravagant Christmas light displays on the way!  The morning of Christmas eve, we all opened one gift.  The normal family tradition is to open them on Christmas eve-eve, but we figured it was Saturday morning and we could use the amusement. Reed opened his new table and chair set that Grandma and Grandpa Franklin sent.  Mike assembled it and Reed has loved it ever since. He knows it’s his own space to sit and have his snacks or read his books. He loves being a big boy.

Mike bought me a portable Bluetooth Bose speaker so I can play great sounding music from my iphone or ipod.  I have Pandora premium on my phone, so we streamed one of the Christmas channels the whole rest of the day.  Mike opened a long sleeved Orbea team bike jersey that I got him to match his new road bike. He wore it on his 50 mile ride that afternoon.

Christmas morning was pretty sweet.  It took Reed hours – literally hours, to open presents.  He was very distracted by each gift he opened and most of the time just wandered off into the pantry to find a snack or go climb on a chair.  He was spoiled with so many great gifts, as were both Mike and I.  One thing I thought was really special is that both sets of Reed's grandparents sent a record-able story book!  It took me by surprise - how special that Reed can now sit down with a book and hear his grandmas read to him.  I thought for sure they must have talked to each other about it- but nope, it turned out to be a coincidence!  Mike's mom sent a "Cars" storybook that she read to him and my mom sent one about the story of Christmas.

Reed also got the dancing, singing, drumming Elmo that has fascinated him at the store for weeks.  Thanks to his Uncle Coy and Cory- he can now torture the toy in his own home. 
I only wish I had taken more pictures on Christmas day.  We started out really good- taking a bunch, but then we put the camera down and didn't end up taking very many after all.  Reed looked so cute dressed up for church- he always does.

We headed to Cassie and Keith’s to share Christmas lunch with their family before church service at 3pm and on the way home Reed’s mood took a dramatic swing.

We spent the afternoon trying to comfort him and just knew something was wrong. He cried and writhed in pain but we didn’t know what was wrong. We tried giving him a bath as a distraction but he slumped against me and fell asleep.  On the way out of the tub and into the towel in Mike’s arms he started vomiting. This was the first time Reed has ever been sick to his tummy. He’s had sinus infections and colds- but never this.  It was so sad to see him exhaust himself emptying everything in his belly.  
The rest of the evening he spent sleeping it off and when he woke at 9:30pm he was happy as a hippo looking around at all his toys and wanting to play.  But, we brushed his teeth and put him to bed.  The next morning our resilient little man popped up like nothing had ever happened.

I hate not knowing what made him sick- was it something he ate? Was it a bug he picked up? I guess we’ll never know, but I’m so thankful that he kicked it so quickly!

The one about “amnesia”

Almost 1 year and 4 months ago I had a baby. In a few weeks I’ll be going into labor again to give birth to my second son.
When I was little I heard stories of mommies having babies and how horrible of an event it was. Sometimes the mommies even died! I heard about this through a country song on the radio, so I knew that it must have been at least as common as rodeo cowboys with long distance lovers. The screaming, sweating, irate women on TV scared the ever living out of me! In any case, I wanted my own baby by the time I was 9. This is mostly due to the fact that I was consistently reassured throughout my childhood that moms are given the gift of amnesia regarding labor and delivery and the reason they continue to have babies is because they forget the pain, forget the fear, and forget generally all negative memories of it. I accepted this information and proceeded forward with my plan.

However, I now realize that I never fully completed my research. I should have included an expected onset date for the amnesia. Perhaps if I had an ETA, I could have planned the spacing between my children better. I suppose I was under the impression that I would forget within the first few weeks of the baby’s life.

Here I am creeping up on my due date and each time I allow myself to think about the delivery I experience a significant amount of anxiety. I have experienced this anxiety throughout the whole pregnancy, all the while fully expecting my “amnesia” to set in at any time.

The problem, you see, is that I do remember. I remember the pain, I remember the frustration I had with myself for not being able to make it easier, I remember the hopeless feeling that it wasn’t going to end. I remember trying to make decisions based on the least amount of sacrifice and the safest, healthiest outcome. I remember fighting to stay strong and determined, while battling wanting to give up (not that it was an option, but it was the state of mind). I remember squirming both physically and mentally and searching desperately for relief.

Reed’s birth, as beautiful and wonderful as the event was- was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. Afterwards, I was very focused on the outcome (baby Reed) and had detached myself somewhat from the journey it took to get there. Plus there was plenty to distract us those first few days in the hospital, with all the tests and procedures Reed had to endure.

I also hadn’t fully realized at the time, just how much in jeopardy Reed’s life was during his birth. It was clearly spelled out on our discharge paperwork, which I read after coming home from the hospital. (I pushed for nearly 3 hours. At the end, Reed got stuck at his chest and was without life support for 3 minutes, because the birth canal had clamped his umbilical cord.)

I was in labor for 28 hours. I promise you, I remember each of those 28 hours. Gave up at 12 hours and got the epidural, which I initially declined and was determined not to have, then pushed for over 2 and a half hours before having my baby whisked across the room before I could even lay eyes on his tiny face.

I’m planning on this labor being a completely different story- but the key word here is “Labor”, which it still will be. Either way, I’m pushing this baby out.

I want to have this baby, but I don’t really want to have this baby. I also don’t want a c-section; I can’t imagine trying to care for an infant and a toddler while recovering from surgery!
This blog post may have some of you thinking what weenie I am. Especially you moms out there, but that can be explained. You were fortunate enough to experience the amnesia that I was so crudely robbed of. This fear and anxiety that I’m having about my “D-day” is clearly evidence of that!

The one about Reed #2

Everyone keeps saying, “This Christmas is going to be so fun with Reed!” To which I want to reply, “Every day is fun with Reed!”  I don’t mean to downplay what they’re trying to say, I know they mean that he’s going to understand more this year and have fun opening presents on Christmas morning.  But, what I say is true- every day is fun with Reed!

He cracks me up every single day with his mischievous smile, his stubborn independence and his sly charm.  The expressions he can come up with are downright hilarious sometimes. 

Reed is learning at such an incredible rate that we have to consciously remember to keep up with him and challenge him mentally. 

At his friend, Luke’s birthday, Reed impressed the other moms and Luke’s grandma.  Multiple times she commented on what a difference 3 months makes.  It’s true!  I can’t wait for either of our parents to see Reed again.  My mom was here for his birthday in August and Mike’s mom saw him last when she came in September for my birthday.  He has grown and changed significantly.  Even in his face and his body, I feel that he is turning into a boy and I see much less of my little baby. 

This will be our last Christmas with only one baby- next year Reed’s brother will be here to share it with him and the family traditions will start to solidify.  I can only imagine the mischief they will cause together and the scams they will come up with!  When I think about my own childhood, I can only shake my head and brace myself for what I have coming to me. 

I’m sure you’re wondering, so I’ll address the name issue.  Yes, this baby is still nameless.  We haven’t spent much time or effort trying to resolve the matter, mostly because it makes me really anxious.  Some people have told me to “just wait till he’s born and figure it out in the hospital” but that is the worst option I can think of!  Nothing could make me more stressed out about it- I definitely need to know before-hand.  Sitting there in the hospital trying to fill out the papers and not being able to put pen to paper and feeling completely rushed into something is not the way I want to name my child.

I still don’t understand why it can’t be as easy as it was with Reed.  I just want to be sure. I want to know without a doubt that we are choosing the right name for the baby.  I am even starting to doubt my desire to have his initials be the same as mine.  What if he doesn’t like being named after his mom?  What if he feels less of a man because Reed’s middle name is after his dad, but his name is based on mom? 

Could I over-analyze this more?  :o) Probably not!

He sure looks like Reed.  We had an ultrasound recently and when they flipped it over to 3D, he had his hands in front of his face.  But, a couple of times he would shift just enough to catch it at an angle where we could see most of his face, and all I could see was Reed. Maybe we’ll just name him Reed #2.

 That’s a terrible idea, forget I said that! 

The one where we all fall ill

I now realize why they include “in sickness and in health” in wedding vows. Maybe they should also have you sign something similar in the hospital after you deliver a baby. I really don’t want to complain or make this post come out sounding whiny and negative, but I do want to update and inform!  For four weeks now I’ve been in a battle with mucus. It started out as painful chest pressure which developed into a nasty cough.  I was sleeping in the guest room so that I could just cough freely and get up as needed without disturbing anyone.  My nights were extremely long and restless. Each week things evolved in some form as I took my rounds of antibiotic, which I am convinced were sugar pills.  At this point, it’s mostly in my sinuses, the cough is down to just the necessity and I’m healing from the rib injury that this all caused last week.

I know it sounds crazy to you and me, but both my PCP and my OB weren’t surprised when I told them about the snapping/popping I felt in my ribs.  The diagnosis is fuzzy, fractured rib- broken cartilage- a joint that connects the ribs, in any case it’s excruciating pain.  Last Thursday when it happened, I felt helpless. I couldn’t move any part of my body without swearing from the pain. I felt like I’d been pulled into a very dark place and I couldn’t get an emotional release because even when I tried to cry about it – the pain in my ribs ended that, too.

Now I’m suffering from all of the over compensating I’ve been doing for my right side.  I try to do everything with my left (open doors, steer the car, grab things off a shelf or out of a drawer) and I have to lean and hold my side in order to cough.  This causes a lot of tweaking throughout the rest of my body.  Ah, the human body! What an amazing thing it is that everything works together and not one single part is isolated.  It’s just too easy to acquire an injury somewhere else while trying to heal from the original one!

This all started just before Thanksgiving.  I know we’re not the only ones either- I can scroll through my facebook newsfeed at any given moment and someone is complaining about being sick.  The crap is going around.  We even canceled our trip to Indiana because Mike’s family was passing around a stomach bug and on top of that Reed woke up with an unexplained fever on Wednesday morning that didn’t go away until halfway through Saturday!  Poor Reedster! He’s a trooper though.  I have to applaud his resilience.  He was whiny and needy each time the fever spiked above 103, but the rest of the time he was very smiley and happy as he ran around with a 100-101 degree temperature.

We even took our family pictures during his fever days! 

This past Sunday Mike finally fell from his throne.  Through all of this, he hadn’t waivered at all.  Healthy as an ox, or something.  He spent a couple of days down with the stomach bug and it was hard for Reed and me to see him that way.  Mike is our rock! We get sick and he takes care of us, and that’s the way it works!  So, it was hard to see him suffering from chills, snuggled under blankets, eyelids drooping and all I could do was stand there and feel helpless.