Baby’s first Christmas

Reed really racked up this year! Although we chose not to buy him anything for Christmas, he got some super cool gifts from our families. After the extreme anticipation all week, we opened our presents Christmas morning and made the classic mess all over the living room. It was perfect! It was the kind of mess that you have to go through carefully to be sure you’re not throwing away any gifts!

Reed has been “grabbing” more and more, which is very exciting for us. So we would start the paper for him and then he would put his hand out, close his little fist and pull! So cute! He had no idea that what he was doing was revealing a present underneath. My brother and his girlfriend Cory sent him a “Scout” dog. We get to plug it into the computer and personalize him so that when you squeeze his paws he actually talks to Reed! He’s fascinated by the stuffed animal’s blinking blue light on his collar. They also send a little race car thinga-ma-jig. Mike’s parents sent a jumper- which was promptly assembled and set up in the pantry doorway, where we stood there and watched Reed stand there and watch us. We bounced it. He’s not getting it yet, but we’ll keep trying. His walker is a favorite though! It’s a DJ center, so he can pound on the little keyboard buttons and make music. I just look at him standing there, looking all busy and I crack up because he can be so independent! His Uncle David and Aunt Niki sent a few gifts as well. The best is this penguin that wobbles, as soon as Reed can sit up he’s going to be pushing on that thing and going crazy with it, I know.

Speaking of which, Mike’s pretty excited to work with Reed on sitting up while their home together today. Reed’s school is on Christmas break, so Mike’s taking Monday, Wednesday, Friday off for two weeks while I’m at work. It’s a little strange because now his time with him outweighs mine. It’s like a primary parent role reversal! Does that mean I get to be the fun one now?

Back to Christmas Day. After we finished opening presents we packed up and headed to the fire station. I’d done my research and found out which location our rescuers worked and what days and when I saw they worked Christmas day, we knew that’s when we had to visit them.

We baked and decorated some snowflake sugar cookies Christmas Eve as our thank you and they were very grateful. They remembered Reed of course and talked about how upset he was that day. They even honored him with his shiny golden Jr. Firefighter badge sticker before lining up in front of the fire truck for a photo-op. Sadly, I must note here that our good camera is on the fritz. Yes, just in time for the stinking holidays. So, we had to take the trusty old point and shoot. Although Mike has been known to snap a few good ones in his day, this one turned out slightly fuzzy for which I must apologize. They were so kind and absolutely genuinely accommodating. They made sure to tell us multiple times to bring him back as he gets older so he can, “climb on the fire truck.” I have a feeling Reed's friends are going to be mighty jealous.

Our afternoon was spent at the home of our good friends, the Harpers. Keith and Cassie have been and increasingly wonderful part of our lives and I thank God every day for connecting our family with theirs. Okay, maybe every few days or every week. Whenever I get around to it. Christmas dinner was tasty and wonderful, no matter what Cassie says. Don’t listen to her- it wasn’t too cold. That’s what happens with big dinners. Its only natural. (Here is a picture of Reed, strapped into the moby, helping me make devilled eggs.) Allissa, Jackson and Ryan were all there and we had a BLAST playing Ryan’s new game, “Things”. A couple of us, and I won’t say who, almost peed our pants we were laughing so hard.
It was wonderful and we stayed all afternoon and evening. It felt warm and cozy, just like it does with family.
We web cam’d with my mom for an hour the next day and showed her all the cool things Reed got for Christmas. She watched him play DJ as he mixed it up for her. And he even gave her a little laugh while playing peek-a-boo.
Thank you also to my dad and my grandma for the gifts for Reed. He discovers new abilities and is growing all the time so it’s really fun to have all kinds of toys and clothes for him. Sometimes I take him in my arms and squeeze him and beg him to stop growing. Except that I’m always looking forward to the next step, too! I’m so torn, I don’t know what I want!!

Joy to the World

Christmas time is so much fun! It feels like the 12 days of Christmas around here. We have been receiving packages from family all around the country and I'm starting to get really antsy to see what everything will be!

Mike's parents have sent multiple shipments- some unwrapped, but I helped and wrapped them when we got them. Except for the 24 pack of dark chocolate Reeses cups that I received. Yum!

I guess you could say I've been unwrapping quite a few of those! I also had a box show up from my dad in Florida. 3 little boxes for Reed. I box with multiple gifts for Reed from Mike's brother, David. My mom brought a crystal ornament for Reed engraved with his full name and birth info. It's very sweet and will be special to us and him forever.

Reed's Uncle Coy and his girlfriend Cory sent a couple of gifts! We have more presents under the tree than I've had ever since I moved out of my mom's house!

I imagine that Reed won't really understand of course- but I'm sure he'll enjoy watching and listening to us rip the paper off. He gets fascinated by the funniest things. Sometimes when I put him in his exersaucer, he just looks so busy! As if, he was waiting all day for me to put him in there so he could get his stuff done in there. And its very intense- he's only got a short amount of time to do it before he runs out of energy. That's the best way to really wear him out. Usually after spending any amount of time in the exersaucer he will crash for a nap almost immediately thereafter!

I'm overcome with love and warmth this holiday season. I feel like it's the beginning. I have a family of my own and a reason to celebrate! I'm so excited for what Christmas and the holidays mean now and what's in store for each coming year.

Thank you to all of our friends and family who are so special to us. So many people have touched our lives and our hearts. Past and present we are grateful for what we learned from knowing you.

Merry Christmas!

Daring Rescue

It was a very exciting day for everyone. Reed saw his first up close fire truck yesterday. He was rescued by Oklahoma Cities finest- and boy was he appreciative! Raise your hand if you’ve ever locked your baby in the car- with the keys. I have learned a valuable lesson about keeping possession of my car keys. They will forever be with me. After a little trip to Hobby Lobby, I snapped his carseat into the base and closed to door to go around to the other side. I heard the dreadful “beep beep” and my heart lept into my throat. Immediately I went for the door handle thinking I could be faster than a Porshe. No such luck. I peered through the window and to my horror, Reed has already begun to cry. So I think to myself, “Self, what have you done? … and now what will you do?” So I call 9-1-1. It’s an emergency, right? The dispatcher connects me with the Fire Department and they send a rescue team. It took entirely too long. I felt as if an hour had passed as I sit with my forehead pressed against the glass chanting, “Reed, Mommy’s right here. Look at me, Reed!” To which he replied, “WAAA! W-W-W-Waaa!”
Then I heard the sound of the sirens approaching and here comes this massive fire tuck, lights a flashing and siren a blaring. I think they do this so you will be more careful in the future to save yourself the embarrassment of this special kind of rescue. It still took entirely too long. The Porshe was on lock-down and had my Reedster hostage. Finally, using a wedge, they actually pried the passenger door open just enough to hook my keys and pull them out. A crazy way to do it, but it was the only way. I pull Reed to safety and he instantly goes silent and just stares down the firefighters and their huge truck. At that point they’re all smiling and complimenting him, but he’s speechless. I should have taken the opportunity to get his picture with them, but my head wasn’t exactly in that place. As they drove away, some other ladies were standing around and one of them said, “Oh my, that WAS an emergency!” Yeah, like I would call a fire truck if I locked only my keys in the car.
Only then did I call his daddy, who is in Texas this week, to describe the event. Oh, how I wanted to call Mike as I was waiting for them to come! But, since there was nothing he could do, I knew it would only be harder on him and make him feel helpless.
All this after such a wonderful and joyous weekend with Grams! My mom flew in on Friday evening and left on Monday evening. It just feels right when she’s here. I can’t even tell you what I wouldn’t give to have her here. She makes him smile just by looking down at his face. He really strives to impress her and even started the process of rolling over, just for Grams!! Before this, he really had no desire to. He was perfectly fine lying on his back, kicking his legs and reaching his arms out. He may have gotten jealous after watching Sophie roll over last Thursday, but it took him a while to act on it.
We did a lot of playing around the house, but we did have a couple fun outings. On Saturday morning we met Melissa and Ty for breakfast. Ty is getting so big and its amazing to think my Reedster is going to do the same thing. That evening we attended Emily’s cookie decorating party, which was a great time. How fitting that we decorated a bunch of cookies to be donated to the fire department? I’ll have to check and see if it went to the same guys. Reed watched longingly as we indulged in all the sugary goodness.
I’m going to guess that Monday was probably the highlight of my mom’s trip. I went to work and she got to stay home with Reed all day. Just the two of them with nothing to do but enjoy each other! I really don’t know how she can stand it. He’s so stinkin’ cute. It was sad when she left. It always feels too short. I miss her again already.

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A hit with the ladies

There are only about a million things I should be doing right now, but also a million things that I want to blog about! So, I’m going to give myself a few minutes here while Reed is sleeping in his play pen. I’ve already washed and ironed the sheets in the guest bedroom and picked up a little around the house and then tried to write a little in Reed’s baby book – so I’m pretty sure he’s going to be waking up here pretty soon! Although, this blog didn't get posted until Sunday (written on Thursday). The computer decided not to recognize the aircard. No aircard, no internet. I’ve spent enough time trying to make it work and I’m done.

I need to prepare for our evening out tonight. It’s actually a pretty busy day- we’re going to Kelly’s house to hang out with her and Sophie this afternoon before we head over to Chesapeake at 5 so we can get pictures with Santa. Then we have to run home to meet Courtney and Daniel because they’re watching our baby bear tonight while we go out to dinner with the JW group and Mike’s Chesapeake coworkers. Tomorrow my mom is coming! She’s dying to see Reed again and I don’t know if the daily pictures and videos that I send to her phone are helping or hindering!

One thing I wanted to record was in late November we served dinner at the Boys and Girls Club for the United Way. Mike is on the Executive Committee for the Emerging Leaders (and in the Social Committee as well) and we try to be active in volunteering. We did the same dinner last year and had a lot of fun- and it felt good. This year it felt almost as good, just my back hurt from standing there with Reed in the baby bjorn while I dished out the slices of turkey and scoops of stuffing! Mike and I stood side by side in our aprons with Reed tucked under my chin. It was funny the comments people made as they came through the line. They wouldn’t notice him at first and then when they looked up they were just stunned and they’d say, “Wow! I didn’t even see that baby there! He’s so cute!” Well, yes. Yes he is. Last weekend we went shopping at Ross and stuffed 5 stockings for the homeless teens. That was a lot of fun. I guess its easier to shop for people you don’t know! Speaking of which, I’m not done with my Christmas shopping yet. I suppose I don’t need to get anything more for Mike, and I’m probably done with my mom and sister, but besides that I really need to get on the ball!

I keep running out of time at work- somehow six hours, three days a week just isn’t enough time to get my job done! It kind of stresses me out, but the biggest problem is that I’m such a freakin airhead that even when I do get something done I mess it up and have to re-do it, or I just forget things completely. For example, one of my coworkers had emergency appendectomy surgery two weeks ago and my boss asked me to send her flowers. Suddenly it hit me that I forgot to do it, so I frantically log in yesterday and straightaway order the flowers online to be delivered same day! Guess who comes strolling in about 30 minutes later? I confessed to her and begged forgiveness!

Every day I get home and the first thing I need to do is get out of my work pants. I’m starting to wear some other slacks besides my maternity pants so they’re not quite as comfortable. Actually Carrie, a coworker, let me borrow a few pairs that she had lying around from before she lost a bunch of weight. Anyway, the tops I wear to work are usually pretty comfortable because I have to pump while I’m there. So, by the time Mike gets home I’m usually dressed in my pajama bottoms and dress shirt. Mike had coined the new term, “business on top, bedtime on bottom.” That’s me! It cracks me right up!

I know I previously claimed that Reed had his first laugh and I was afraid this was going to happen, but I have to now say that it was more of a “pre-laugh”. Here is the latest story: Monday night I was cooking dinner and Mike was playing with Reed on the living room floor when Reed suddenly started laughing! He kept doing the little squeaky inhale and then actually had the hahaha coming out! I dropped what I was doing, grabbed my phone and went flying into the living room just in time to catch the very end of it on video. I decided that I need a shortcut button on my phone to the video because I just didn’t get there fast enough to catch the actual chuckle. I have invested many hours trying to make him laugh ever since. I just can’t find his funny bone! I get some tiny encouraging noises here and there, but I need to hear that magical sound again! This is the best idea I’ve come up with, you know how laughing is contagious? Well, I went on youtube and searched for “laughing baby” and played a couple videos so he could hear them laughing. I hoped it would work like a charm but he actually looked a little creeped out by it. His forehead wrinkled in a tiny frown and he froze completely motionless. I did my best.

Last Friday I dropped Reed off at school and one of the girls, Kacie, is always just so excited to see him that it really makes it easier to leave him there. She takes him into her arms and kisses his face while telling him how much she missed him. At this point, he doesn’t really care, sorry to say. Even when I pick him up in the afternoons I don’t get any kind of recognition. I’ve stopped expecting his eyes to light up at the sound of my voice, he just doesn’t show emotion yet. I know she’s dying for him to respond to her, too. Its actually kind of funny because it’s like he’s playing hard to get. So, later that evening I was telling Mike about how much I like Kacie and we talked about getting her contact info and possibly asking her to babysit sometimes. Then I start unpacking his bag and I find a note in there from Kacie! I say, “what a coincidence!” Now, I didn’t really think I’d be finding girls’ phone numbers in his bag this early but Mike reminded me that he is a Franklin so I just had to accept it. Her note is all about how she’s so in love with Reed and would be happy to watch him anytime we need, blah blah blah. So I send her a little text and tell her that I found her note and I was glad that she left her number because I wanted to ask for it anyway. We get down to where I ask how much she charges and she responds with “10 an hour.” Okay, I know its been a long time since I’ve baby sat but, back when I was watching kids we didn’t make anywhere near minimum wage. I don’t know when this happened or how, but seriously? Turns out after complaining to all my friends on facebook, that’s pretty much the going rate.

I told her I’d keep her number but what I didn’t tell her is that we have plenty of people who love him and us, and wouldn’t rob us blind just for fun. Right now Reed is the most adorable thing ever and it doesn’t put people out to spend time with him. In a couple years (or months!) it might be a different story and then I know I’ll have to pay people to put up with him, but for now she can stick it. In fact, we have friends banging down our door to get on the list to baby sit. Pshhh. 10 an hour. Who does she think she is? Supper Nanny? Despite my rant, I still like her and I’m still glad that my little guy is so lovable.

Reed's Newborn Photos

Click here to view this photo book larger

Thanksgiving Special

This is going to be my final blog post. For November. Because it's the last day of the month, silly!

I have great news, I finished Reed's mobile! You really just have to come see it because I discovered that it doesn't photograph well. I tried numerous times but to no avail. I had to choose a couple pictures to post, so this is what you get.

I enjoyed it so much that I offered to make on for my friend, Janice. She’s having a boy in January and her colors are black/white & orange. I have some ideas now that I’ve completed mine, but who knows when I’ll get hers done!

Thanksgiving was very special. We had Mike’s parents as well as his brother’s family. I always enjoy spending time with Mike’s family so of course we had a good time! Reed met his cousin, Luke, for the first time. Too bad they look nothing alike. *sigh* Luke is a year older than Reed and has a little brother on the way so Reed will have another cousin soon! They were able to participate in our Thanksgiving tradition- in our house we make pizza on Thanksgiving day.

I'm sure they thought it was a little odd, and to please everyone we still did the turkey on Friday, but as long as Mike and I have lived together, we've done this. So we had all the toppings that anyone could want and we rolled out our dough and made our pizzas. I remember the first year Mike and I did this at the condo in Salt Lake and I ended up burning my arm taking the pizza out of the oven. The scar isn't even visible anymore but when I sent the picture message out I got a lot of "Pizza on Thanksgiving??" replies. The best part about having family come to visit is you don't feel quite as much pressure to "host". However, the worst part about having family come to visit is you don't have that pressure to "host"! My only regret about the Thanksgiving holiday is I wish I had been a better host.

Normally, Mike and I will have an itinerary ready for guests who come to visit. A whole list of options so the days can be jam packed with memory-making activities! This time we did a whole lot of relaxing! I hope they didn't mind too much!

Speaking of visitors, my mom will be coming soon! It's going to be wonderful and I'm just aching to throw my arms around her and wrap her up in a big hug. I've been missing my mom pretty intensely lately. I suppose she was feeling the same way because all it took was one conversation about her coming to visit and the ticket was bought! Its difficult for me to visit her in the winter because there are many smokers at my mom's house and I can't just go outside to avoid it. We're talking about temperatures below zero, and Reed just doesn't have clothes that are warm enough! So, the warmer months are much more comfortable. Not to mention the chances of getting stuck in Denver in the winter... no thank you!

Have I mentioned how lucky I am to have the most wonderful husband? Mike is the most competent daddy I know. Reed loves playing with him and I already see a special bond. With Mike, Reed is always learning. It's either some kind of exercise or his alphabet, shapes, or colors. Reed has recently started his "grabbing". We are in the very very early stages but we're working on the hand/eye coordination. Mike held out a toy, very steady until Reed grasped it in his little hand! He got so excited about this that he started kicking his legs and when he let go he just wanted to grab it again. So, Mike held it for him again and it took a while, his poor little hand floating around very near the toy while he strained to control what he was doing with it, but he got it again. They also do push ups together. Okay, Reed does tummy time while Mike shows him how to do push ups. I mostly dance with him, that is, when I'm not feeding him! Mike and I split night-duty. He keeps offering to take care of Reed for a whole night so I can get the entire nights sleep, but that's impossible. As a breastfeeding mom, even sleeping on a sheet saver isn't going to get me through the whole night. Besides, lately Mike's been having a little trouble soothing him back to sleep quickly in the night. I think this is because Reed thinks dad means playtime!

How do you ignore that angelic face and those huge eyes looking up at you with that mischievous grin?? It's difficult, but you have to do it. He tries to pull that with me, too. I don't look. Strict rule: No eye contact at night! Okay, so I've fallen for it once or twice. Last night Mike gets up with Reed in the night but in the end he brings him to me and explains that Reed is wide awake and he just can't get him back to bed. So, I get up, nurse him and have him in his crib within 15 minutes. Sometimes Reed just makes me look good. It's really probably because he was full, clean, and faking Mike out with the bright eyes, even though he was so sleepy.

One last thing- we thinks we had Reed's first laugh! And WHO made him laugh? Mike's brother! Dang it, David!!! Oh well, at least we were all there for it! I've been trying to get Reed to laugh for me for days now. No such luck!

3 months yet?

So Reed is now 12 weeks old but by date he won't be three months old until the 28th, which is still a week away. And I know that when people ask me how old he is they don't mean they want to know exactly how old he is, but I feel obligated to be honest and not mislead them so my answer is almost never straight forward. I have been responding with "almost 3 months" but sometimes I end up in a long winded explanation about exactly how old he is.

About 3 weeks ago we started sitting him in his Bumbo- it's great exercise for him since he can sit and work on controlling his head and balancing his body. Plus its just super cute to see him sitting up "by himself". He uses the opportunity to examine his hands and work on his hand-mouth coordination.

He also loves to stand, he's just so strong that if you stand him up he'll be straight as a board. Touch anything to his feet and he'll push against them. We first had to use this trick in the early weeks when he wasn't having any poo diapers. A little exercise does a body good!

Although he enjoys almost any movement or position he is an acrobat deep down and loves to be held high above our heads. The sweetest thing is that gravity pulls all the weight of his face down until he resembles a monkey. He smiles almost automatically, which is dangerous because once you get that smile going, there is no stopping until the shoulder muscles give out! He stiffens his body and holds his arms down to his sides in fists like a tiny baby super hero- sans tights.

The poor guy started losing all his hair a week ago. People kept commenting on the fact that he still had all his hair and we were very optimistic that we were going to escape the curse. But sadly, no. Since he sleeps on his tummy, he has pretty severe balding going on above each ear for the length of the side of his head. I sometimes give him a scalp massage to get those hair follicles reactivated.

3 nights ago we had a miracle happen. Reed slept 8 hours straight and got us both very excited. I still had to get up at 4:45am since he went to bed just before nine; it's amazing how fast 8 hours can go. He has since resumed his normal 2-3 hours at a time. Poor little guy has been stuffy and mucusy the last couple weeks so that's not helping him sleep either. We're getting better with "The Bulb" and trying to help him as best we can. Its pretty sad when there's not much we can do.

I've been storing up milk like it was the end of the world. It started in the hospital as a way to help extract nutrients since Reed wasn't eating well and we had to use it to encourage his latch. Then we got home and I knew I would need to get a good stock pile for going back to work so we wouldn't have to ever supplement with formula. Although it looks like we have plenty I still can't stop and always feel like I'm behind in his needs. I know its psychological because I'm clearly producing more than he's eating in a day or the storage would be going down not up, but I cannot help the way I feel. Even when we're running out of room in the freezer. I just want to have enough so that when I stop nursing, Reed can continue without formula.

The logical part of my brain says to stop worrying about having enough milk. I don't need the stress in my life. Especially when it's completely imaginary.

Speaking of stress, I have rededicated myself to a stress-free more positive attitude. During pregnancy I made it a high priority to keep negative thoughts and feelings out and try to stay happy and relaxed. I wanted Reed to have a happy environment to grow in. I did a fairly good job, if I do say so myself. However, since his birth I have noticed that I do allow things to bother me and find myself dwelling in a negative mood. How terrible! I say enough of that! I'm bringing the smiles back! In my defense I was getting a lot more sleep back then, but it is just as, if not more, important now. So, consider me officially rededicated!

2 &1/2 Months Wellness Visit

Today I took Reed to see Dr. Garrison for his 2 month checkup. Last night I was looking over his discharge papers from the hospital and found his begining stats amusing. His height and weight started out near the 75th percentile. However, his head circumference was at 9%!! I actually had never noticed that before but then I started thinking about it and realized that he does have a tiny head. The bottom 10%, crazy. I just thought everyone else's babies had giant heads. Come to find out, my baby just has a miniature head!

He was in such a good mood this morning and I was dreading taking him in. Even when we were in the exam room waiting for Dr. Garrison, Reed was so playful. He was smiling and kicking all over the place. He has recently became pretty vocal, which is very exciting for Mike and me, and he was cooing and ahhing away. What I enjoy about his doctor appointments is I get a chance to ask all the questions that have been bothering me. Reed's tear duct clogs off and on and right now it's a mucus machine, which is gross. He gets little bumps on his tiny little chest and tummy, which we found out were normal/common and just from irritants on clothes. His toes are fused and Dr Garrison said it's a simple orthopedic procedure if we wanted to fix them when he gets a little older. He started spitting up a lot more than normal the last couple days and come to find out 4 to 6 months is pretty much a peak for that, but he also said Dad could be feeding him too much. His tummy only holds about 4 or 5 ounces so it will expand to hold more but it won't like it and will push it back out if he's uncomfortably full.

His height is still in the 75th percentile and his weight is down in the 50th, so he's completely average there. His head has gained 6 cm since birth- he is now in the 15th percentile. I don't think it means much right now as long as he stays along the same pattern for his growth chart. Any big changes from how he is currently growing would be worrisome.

So the nurse comes in to do the shots and Reed is lying in my arms. He played his little heart out while waiting so he's a little tuckered out and is sucking my thumb. She gives him a little dose of liquid tylenol in a syringe and he slurpes it up. He knows "the birdie" and is really good at drinking from a syringe since this is how he learned to breastfeed. Then he's up on the table and I'm leaning over him, talking to him and letting him suck on my thumb. She says, "Are you ready, Mom?" and I said, "No." and she stickes the effing needle in his leg- his eyes POP open and he starts screaming- then goes to silent mode. She sticks the other two needles in and he still hasn't taken a breath. His face is dark red and frozen in a scream and thats when I notice a tiny stream of bright red blood under his curled tongue. I say outloud, "why are you bleeding? Did you bite your tongue?" Because in all the comotion I forgot that my 2 month old son doesn't have teeth and therefore cannot bite his own tongue. The only explanation is my thumbnail, I suppose, but it's pretty short so I'm still confused about the blood in his mouth. I'm actually thinking about blaming the nurse for poking him while giving him the tylenol.

After I pick him up and swaddle him up, I plug my thumb in again and he falls swiftly to sleep. Great, because he's still only wearing a diaper and I have to get him dressed in order to leave!

He slept for about 30 minutes and woke up mid-Lowes shopping. Content in his car-seat (for once) he lets me finish and when we got home I laid him down on his "gym" and he starts batting the toys around and smiling just like before. So all my guilt washed away and he didn't hate me after all!

I'm trying to work on his mobile to hang above the crib. This project started about two weeks ago but I never have the hands to do it. While I was at Lowes today I bought the rest of the supplies and could finish it if I just had a couple hours. And I'm talking about a couple hours straight, not in 5 minute segments. It's going to be really cool. I'm not going to describe it here just so the anticipation is at the highest possible level when I finally post pictures.

Last weekend we had a few generations of Franklins in the house. This was the first time Reed met his Great Grandpa Malcom and Great Grandma Jan. They came with Mke's parents, Danny and Connie and just stayed a couple days. It was a really nice weekend- sunny, breezy, and fun! We went to Braum's for ice-cream and Malcolm took my suggestion and got the butter brickle. He said something really funny about how awesome the ice-cream was but I don't remember exactly what it was. I do however remember exactly another funny thing that he did say that day. We were at Ross and he said, "put a cart in front of her in this store and she's like a blind dog in a meat plant!" Mike's dad could NOT stop laughing. I would look over at him every once in a while and notice him rubbing his eyes, laughing, shaking his head and saying, "a blind dog in a meat plant!"

And then they were on their way and we were alone again. It was a whirlwind trip and much too short. They were on their way to Vegas for the week but we were grateful that they made the stop here in OKC. Then I started thinking about Connie's face as they were getting ready to leave. She was tearing up and getting emotional about leaving Reed, I understand how hard it is, he's freaking awesome, and I asked if she wanted to hold him one last time. She wiped her eyes and said, "no, it will just make it harder to leave." Mike's legal first name is Danny (for those of you who don't know this, he goes by his middle name) which is the same as his dad's and I share the same name as his mom. I think we should have just traded them places and gone to Vegas with Mike's grandparents and let his mom and dad stay here with Reed! It's a perfect plan!

Apparently I was the only one who thought so.

Oh well, I enjoy putting my tiny man-baby to bed in his crib each night and I'm definitely not ready to skip town without him yet.

Men’s Day Wednesday

Let’s just call it what it is. My men are home together on Wednesdays while I go out into the world and win bread, or make dough. Either way somehow I’ll be bringing home some bacon.
They are absolutely adorable together. One thing that makes it so sweet is that most of Reed’s clothes are not baby clothes. They are tiny little man child clothes. When we are shopping Mike likes to say, “If I won’t wear it then Reed can’t wear it”. So a lot of their clothes are very similar. Soon I will take some pictures to illustrate what I’m saying.
I haven’t a clue what they’re up to right now but I’m dying to know. They’re probably doing push ups or something manly like that. Perhaps they’re just sitting around in their underwear eating pizza. I feel blessed that I have a husband who makes it such a priority to spend time with his baby. To him, it’s very important to use his vacation days to be home with Reed for the entire day (ten hours!) once a week. He’s the most capable new father in the world and I feel very confident saying that. Mike has never once turned away from a dirty diaper and most times just takes Reed to change him without even being asked. In fact, the system usually goes: I feed him, Mike burps and changes him. Do I feel guilty about this? Do I feel like I’m taking advantage of my husband? Actually yes, I do. I didn’t in the beginning, before I went back to work because I was home all day with every diaper until Mike got home so I had no problem tagging him in for diaper duty. However, since we both work now, I actually do feel like I’ve relinquished too much and the scales are tipping unjustly. Now that I’ve admitted to it, I’m going to have to start working on it. (Dang!)
Halloween was good! We invited a whole bunch of our friends and ended up with a small get together. The costumed Harpers and Gospodareks joined us for chili and caramel apples. Keith and Cassie had great costume ideas! They came as Forrest Gump (the long haired runner) and Jenny (the long haired hippy) and Allissa was an ipod, which was pretty cute. The Gospodareks came as cowboys, but Miss Sophie was a pumpkin. Mike and I decided on the football theme.

I made Reed’s costume with a borrowed sewing maching and it was custom fitted two weeks ahead of time. This was tricky because he’s growing so fast it ended up being pretty snug! I was a referee and Mike was a coach! He got his big noise cancelling headphones and wore them on his hat, like the coaches do, and had a binder called his “playbook”. My referee costume was the most decent sexy one I could find. I had to wear shorts under it but the zipper gave Reed easy access so that was important.
I planned on taking Reed out and “trick-or-treating” in the neighborhood to show him off to neighbors that we know but time just slipped away and before I knew it the night was almost over! I remembered that Halloween is kind of annoying because whatever you’re doing is constantly interrupted by the door bell.
Since this was my first attempt at sewing a Halloween costume I am pretty proud of myself for how it turned out, I’m actually thinking about selling it on ebay next year. I think Reed like it because it was kind of like wearing his pajamas all night. Not that any of his clothes are really that uncomfortable! One thing Reed and I have in common is our love for elastic waist pants!

Two Months & still hearing the 'ghost cries'

Reed is two months old today! Its cool to flip through my pictures and see how much he's changed already. It's also amazing to think how much I've changed. I feel older, and with this luggage under my eyes I know I look it! I feel like someone took a lock off my heart and opened an undiscovered chamber. I never knew I could love this much.
If I get frustrated, tired, irritable... all I have to do is look into Reed's face and it all gets wiped away. When he cries I know he's not trying to get on my nerves, the poor little guy is just trying to tell me something and I need to pay attention! I guess I try not to look at his face when he cries or else it would break my heart too much! Of course I don't let him cry as much as I can help it but since he really hates having his diaper changed and has something against his carseat then there's really nothing I can do but try to get it over with as quickly as possible!

I've returned to work this week and I discovered some interesting feelings. Monday I was sitting at my desk and going through my emails and getting back into "work mode". It was a strange feeling I had- I felt normal! It almost felt like I had woken up from a dream that I had a baby. The previous 8 weeks of sitting on the couch 20 hours a day at home with a baby attached to me felt very distant. Except I have both lives now and every other day I will be switching back and forth. My two lives are merging!
I missed him on Monday but yesterday Mike stayed home with him while I was at work and not only did I miss him but I felt so left out!! It was all I could do to keep my hands off my phone and not call or text constantly and ask, "what are you guys doing now? How 'bout now? How 'bout now?" I was jealous of Mike and excited for him at the same time. He finally got to see what a day was like at home with Reed. A whole day where Reed was completely dependent on his daddy for all his needs and his smiles, too! There were a couple challenging moments but daddy made it through and he didn't have to call me for help. I knew he wouldn't, he's very capable of taking care of his son. He just doesn't have the convenience of being able to lift up his shirt to soothe Reed, like I do. I agree, it's kind of cheating. Even if he's not hungry it always calms him down when he's upset.
I had this feeling all day that Reed was going to have a bunch of "firsts" while I was at work. I kept thinking, sure, I'll get home and it will be like, "oh guess what? Reed started crawling today! and talking! and solving algebra equations!"

Reed has been doing exceptionally well at night and Miek and I are both getting excited that the full nights sleep is coming soon! He's logged in some long stretches so I know we are turning a corner. Now if I could just get rid of what I call the 'ghost cries' in my head. I hope I'm not the only person who experiences this, but at night somehow my mind seems to find baby cries tucked into the white noise of the darkness. I'm talking serious, full on throwing a fit! Screaming, crying, gasping- variations in tone and volume! And it's not real! This started in the very beginning actually when I would take naps and Reed would be hanging out with Mike or one of our family members. It really had me confused then because I was convinced that he was out there wailing and needed me so bad. But, when I got up and went to comfort him, he was happy as a hippo just hanging out. Now that he's been sleeping in his room and we're using the monitor, I'm paranoid that the monitor isn't turned up loud enough and I can hear the 'ghost cries' echoing in my head. Its completely 100% my imagination and drives me crazy! I have to sit up- look at the monitor, check the volume, and sometimes walk across the house to check on him. But when I get back in bed I STILL HEAR IT! Even after I've confirmed that it's not real, I still hear it.
I swear it's going to put me in the crazy house if it doesn't stop. Why do I imagine my baby crying? Can't I imagine him laughing instead?

Reed and Childcare

Reed will be 8 weeks old on Saturday and the reason it's significant is that it means I return to work on Monday. Monday! Two days ago I dropped Reed off for a trial day at child care. He only spent a couple hours there but I wanted him to meet his teachers and get to know them a little before he was suddenly abandoned there for 6 hours on Monday.

I was actually expecting it to affect me more than it did. After all, I haven't been away from him at all unless you count last Sunday when I went for a bike ride and left him here with Mike. I rode for 11 miles so I guess I got about 5.5 miles away from him. And yes, I was thinking the whole time that this was the first time I'd been away from him. So, back to Wednesday- I had a lot of things I wanted to do, so I dropped him off and rushed home, pumped/worked on his halloween costume, got only a 30 minute bike ride in (I wanted an hour) and suddenly it was time to go get him already! I have to say, I stopped to get gas on my way and I also ran into the dollar store real quick before I picked him up. I forgot that simple errands can actually be SIMPLE!

Reed has picked up the habit of crying uncontrollably in his car seat. It really breaks my heart because he gets sooo mad! There are real tears and everything- he cries so hard it sounds like you're sawing his leg off or something awful.

Anyway, I was so busy and felt so rushed because there was so much I wanted to do while I was free that I didn't even have time to think about the fact that I just abandoned him with strangers. Of course when I picked him up I expected him to break out in a huge smile and show some excitement and relief that I'd come back. That, of course, was just unrealistic. It looked like he didn't even notice. They said he was an angel and both of his teachers had already fallen head over heels. He has a way of doing that- grabbing your heart and sticking it in his tiny pocket.

Tonight Mike and I are going out to a United Way party and Reed is staying home with our friend Susanne. I sure hope he takes it easy on her. He can either be very very good or a teensy weensy bad. After the experience with leaving him at child care on Wednesday I’m very confident that he’ll be fine tonight.

I’ve looked through all my dresses and have decided on my bebe dress again. Its loose fitting but very glamorous, so it will be great for the “casino night” theme. Until I lose the last of this pesky 12-15 lbs I’m probably going to stay out of my more fitting clothing, even if they are stretchy.

Reed has been smiling so much more this week. He smiles easily, too. You don’t really have to do a whole lot to coax one out. I hope that stays with him throughout life. If he’s anything like his parents he will always find things to smile at.

Yesterday Amanda and her daughter Piper came over to play with us. Piper is 4 & ½ months old now and Reed is almost two so it’s fun to look at them together and see the differences. Piper is much better at tummy time and Reed still can’t really control his hand movements. He’s pretty chill though. We went for a walk around the lake in our neighborhood and I put Reed’s sunglasses on him, which he’s fine with. I think he likes them but mostly they just crack me up, especially since he has this dead serious face all the time. “I know I’m cool.”

I will have to find time to blog after my first day back to work on Monday. I’m sure it will be a big mixed bag of emotions. I will also have to convince Mike to blog after Wednesday, which is going to be his first day home with Reedster! That’s right, Reed’s in child care on Mondays and Fridays but he’s home with daddy on Wednesdays while I work! I’m interested to see how that goes. Mike is very capable of taking care of his own son, that’s not what I’m worried about. In fact, I’m not worried at all. I’m just excited to hear about Mike’s day when I get home. It will be such a wonderful opportunity for them to really bond more and for Mike to experience the beautiful joy of really being there for Reedster.

I have to go do some last minute crunches now in order to slip a little more easily in my dress tonight.

Reed's clothes are shrinking!

It's true. Every time I go to put something on him his clothes are getting tighter and tighter. Mostly they are becoming too short. I've gone over the possibilities and I've decided that his clothes must be shrinking because there is no way that my baby is growing. He's still my tiny little man- I'm sure of it. Mike, on the other hand, disagrees completely. Everyday when he comes home he walks right up and steals his son from me. As he does this he releases a huge grunt as he slowly lifts him up to his shoulder and he says, "Reed, you are sooo big!" Then he turns to me and says, "he's definitely heavier! Lets go weigh him!!" I'm not exaggerating, he does this almost daily.So, I think I'm going to have to send a letter to LG about their washers and dryers. I mean seriously, clothes generally only shrink the first time you wash them- not continuously. It's just

criminal.

Last night was a big night at the Franklin residence! Mike and I are hoping its a milestone- a turning point, if you will. Not just a fluke. Reed slept in his crib and only woke up twice! The first leg was 3.5 hours and then he was up for a half hour to eat and get changed and fell right back asleep for another 3 hours! The effect this had on me was about the same as visiting the fountain of youth or maybe some miracle drug that turned me back into a human being. Previously he'd been sleeping in bed with me (as you may recall) and wouldn't stay asleep if he wasn't being held or touched. So, this is huge. He's becoming an independent sleeper. He looks so tiny in that big old crib, its one of the most precious sights I've ever seen. It's almost enough for me to pick him right back up again and snuggle him up to me. I don't of course, but its the best part about hearing the monitor sound off and having to go get him in the middle of the night.He's also getting very active in his little play gym. His little arms fly around and hit the toys that are hanging down. It actually keeps him entertained long enough for me to go to the bathroom and maybe grab something to eat. But, even with him lying there happy as a hippo I can't just leave him there to do household chores. I have to sing him songs, play with him and tickle his precious tummy! I know when he's finished playing because he starts huffing really fast thru his nose! It's like a bull! He does "the bull" whenever he's feeling especially impatient.

We haven't decided what our Halloween plans are yet... so far my favorite ideas for costumes are me as a referee, Mike as a football player and Reed as a football! I haven't seen a football costume yet- so that might be difficult. Plus, I don't know if we're going to a party or anything. I actually think we might have to throw one!! We could do something a little more fitting like... Mike is a farmer, I'm a cow, Reed is a calf ... that way him being attached to the boob all night is just part of the costume!

I'll keep thinking of ideas and keep you updated!!

Here is a funny picture of Reed sleeping on my legs. We went out to the backyard to play and I guess he just got very comfortable from the bouncing!

Smile

How do I spend my days? It’s all about Reed. When he wants to eat, burp, sleep, and my favorite – play. I love making him smile! It’s so rewarding and makes the sleepless nights worth it. Yesterday I had him lying in his pack ‘n play, it has a shade that goes over the top, so I was hiding behind it saying, “Where’s mommy?? Where did I go?” and pop out to say, “Boo! Here I am!”

The side of the shade as some netting on it that I can see through and I watched him every time I “hid”. He smiled when he couldn’t see me!! Not when I popped out to say boo, but when he couldn’t see me! I already have a silly son.

Today I had a much needed outing with Kelly and Sophie, who is only 3 ½ weeks older than Reed. We met up at Cuppies and Joe for a cupcake and latte and then stopped by the farmers market to browse the fresh goodies. The last couple days have been lonely with Mike out of town. I try to be very aware of my moods and cautious of getting too blue. The statistics for postpartum depression are alarming. About 1 in 10 new moms are diagnosed with PPD and 1 in 4 get the “baby blues”. In my last couple months of pregnancy Mike and I talked about it a few times because he wanted to make sure I knew that I could tell him if I was feeling down. I couldn’t really imagine being sad, but I knew it was important so I promised to be open about my feelings when the time came. The first week home from the hospital I was so in love with Reed and had a million positive emotions surging through my heart! I was mesmerized by his face and loved my one on one moments with him. I could never ever imagine getting depressed! Not with him in my life now! I couldn’t even imagine having one negative thought!

At 5 ½ weeks now I can see how the daily grind takes its toll and can spin a quiet little web of sadness. Its important to spend time focusing on the positive, it’s important to spend time out of the house and with other people as well. It sounds easy but it’s really not. Sometimes its easier for the day to slip by without doing anything at all! Then I have days like yesterday where I contact 5 people but still end up alone. When Mike is gone I know I have to break up the hours by reaching out, it just happened that everyone was busy and after hearing it so many times I had to quit asking. Even my mom was too busy to chat with me online! I try to keep some variety in my day. We go out in the back yard and play on a blanket in the shade of a tree. Sometimes we take a little walk around the block and we spend a lot of the day singing songs and discovering new dance moves. Last week I had Allissa come over on Thursday morning to play with Reed while I got a couple more hours of sleep and Cassie came on Friday to do the same thing. The mornings seem to be the best time to have the help because waking up multiple times during the night just tends to wear on me. Sometimes the last couple times Reed wakes up, I find myself throwing back the sheets with a tinge of irritation because I know I’m running out of nighttime hours and the day is sliding right in and I’m not ready to start!

I’ve had a couple unstable days where I cried for almost no reason, who can blame me? I just had a baby! I’m allowed some emotional moments with all the hormones going berserk. Mike has been very understanding and supportive through it and I think he’s grateful that it has been so easy. I’m sure he expected it to be worse, with all the warnings he’s read! The last time I was crying, he came up to me and said, “you’re doing a great job, honey. I love you.” To which I replied, “you’re just saying that because I’m crying!” poor guy! Its okay, I apologized later.

So don’t worry, I’m keeping things in check. I’m asking for help when I think I need it (although I don’t always get it) and I’m keeping an eye on my attitude. The phrase I hear most often is, “it gets better” and I know its true, but that also means my little baby will grow up! I know that when he starts sleeping thru the night that only means that he’s not an infant anymore. I’m telling myself that I have to enjoy this time with him because “they grow up so fast” and I must live in the moment and not take any of this time for granted. I’ve decided not to wish my days away. I love my baby, Reed! We will continue to make each other smile :o)

Sandbagger

I have a reputation for being a bit of a sandbagger. For example, if I set a goal for a race for 1:45 I might cross the finish around 1:35. I don’t do it on purpose and I feel like I’m just setting realistic goals. And besides, isn’t it better to exceed a goal than to fall short? What’s going to keep you encouraged? Success of course! So, historically the expectations I have for myself are usually fairly easy.

Well, my recovery has been a different story. I expected to very quickly be able to jump back into my running shoes and take Reedster out in the jogging stroller. The day after we came home from the hospital we started taking walks in the neighborhood and I was stunned at how bad I hurt. No pain, no gain, so I pushed on. I didn’t expect it not to hurt and I knew it was normal to ache. We walked just about every day, even when Mike’s parents were in town and when my Mom and sister were in town. One day I even did a little jogging with the stroller in walking intervals. It was good for my sanity to be active and it was important to me.

Turns out I was really delaying my recovery and I now know that if I had taken it easier I would have recovered a whole lot faster. They say 6 weeks before you can exercise but I thought I was special. I thought, “sure 6 weeks for most people. Not me.” What’s with 6 weeks anyway? Why is 6 the magic number? I just wanted to get my body back and start feeling normal again. Mike and I discussed my activity level because my walks were not just walks. I lunged, squatted, kicked and repeated hills for an hour/hour and a half. When he confronted me about it I had to explain, we’re not that different, him and me! Last month he injured his feet, and instead of taking even one week off- he ran 5 miles two days later, which of course made it much worse. Why do we do this? Because it sucks not to work out! It makes me grumpy, depressed, and zero fun to be around. I need to feel the fresh air rushing into my lungs and the warm blood pumping to my muscles! I want to feel strong and fast again! I want to get sore the next day!

I was so proud of myself when I stepped on the scale less than two weeks after Reed was born and I was 12 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. I had goals for losing the rest! Yet here I sit, Reed is 5 weeks and I haven’t budged another pound. I’m on my butt all day until my body gives me the thumbs up. I’m pretty close to feeling like I can start walking again and my appointment is on the 11^th where my doctor will be able to give me the green light. It turns out everyone was right and I shouldn’t have been over-doing it. Very difficult for someone who was still working out up to the day I went into labor. What make it harder is my ever expanding butt and thighs.

Our spoiled little Reedster

It’s a good thing that I keep reading how you “can’t spoil an infant” because if there ever was such a thing you could definitely stick that label right onto Reed’s forehead!

He insists on being held constantly- there are rare occasions that happen typically twice a day where I can set him down on his play mat and he’ll stare at the toys. Even rarer are the occasions where we can lay him down to nap and have some time to do things with two hands.

Even now as I sit and type he is tucked into my lap, laying along my tummy between my breasts and the boppy on my thighs. I’m even the naughty mother who sleeps with my infant next to me, in direct violation of everything I’ve read about where infants should safely sleep.

He requires direct contact with me in order to feel secure and content. I know I should be practicing laying him in his moses basket next to the bed, as we had planned, but sleep deprivation and exhaustion rule my priorities. However I can get my sleep- I do it.

We have a special relationship, Reed and I. My touch, my voice, is sometimes all he needs in order to calm down. Its amazing that we have this bond – I look into his eyes and I see my creation. I see responsibility, accountability, hopes, dreams, fears, expectations, challenges. I could let my mind unravel in the possibilities of his future and the memories we will experience down the road.

Most of the time Reed looks very serious.

Mike says he must have gotten that from him. He seems wise beyond his years, an “old soul” to put it precisely. My guess is that once he gets more control over his facial expressions and emotions, that “old soul” will fade into an excited little boy. I could be wrong! Maybe he won’t change that much and he’ll just continue to be our little man. I have been able to get a few smiles out of him. What can I say, he loves his mommy’s kisses! Just this morning I was kissing each side of his face and counting, “One kiss! Two kiss! Three kiss! Four kiss!” and each time I pulled back he flickered a smile at me. Talk about encouragement! I stepped it up and kissed him all over his face and he continued to smile! Of course once I grabbed my blackberry and tried to get a video of it, he was over the whole game. But I enjoyed it, and that’s what is important!

His sleeping schedule fluctuates daily. Some days he takes two good naps and I can sleep with him and other days he chooses to catnap in my arms and doesn’t allow me to lay down with him. The nights fluctuate as well. Lately tho, it has become a two hour interval. Two up, two down. I am ever so grateful for the nights where he gets either a three hour sleep stretch or a one hour up for feeding. When he was 3 weeks old we gave him his first bottle. Mike was a little emotional about it- neither of us expected it to be a very big deal but Mike was amazed at how good it felt and I was shocked at how sad I was. Maybe sad isn’t the word, but I didn’t like him not needing me. I was relieved when he came back to me for more when the bottle was finished!

Now, it’s really nice because Mike can give him a bottle for the first nighttime feeding and allow me to get 4 hours of sleep straight! That felt incredible. I think I woke up a whole new woman ready to take on anything! Yesterday Susanne came over for three hours just to hold him for me. We had just woke up from a nap, so I didn’t need to do that while she was there so I took a shower. It was nice! I got to shave my legs! We also did a little project that I’d been meaning to do. I have a picture frame bulletin board that I put two little blue pieces of paper in and had intended to stamp his foot prints on them. We finally accomplished that on his 1 month birthday!! The weeks have just flown by and it’s hard to believe he’s already 1 month old. Although since I’m up during the day and the night it almost feels like he’s two months old *wink*

Today I got Reed all dressed up in his DKNY shirt and his Old Navy boot cut jeans with his little shoes. He was so handsome! Watch out ladies!! We went to Gordmans to buy some nursing bras (at great prices!) and he had the ladies there swooning. Until he started screaming, then they gave us some space. He used to be so good in his car seat. I bragged, which is what cursed me I’m sure, because my friend Kelly’s baby, Sophie, hates her car seat. Lately Reed switches back and forth between hating it and not minding it much. So during one car ride you could see him flip flop multiple times. When he’s not crying he, of course, is a very serious business traveler, like his daddy.

I really wish I could blog more, there are so many things I want to say each day- to record our exciting daily activities, but it’s so hard because the day is filled with feeding him, changing him and soothing him. When he does go down for a hard nap- I know that I need to be napping, too. Tomorrow I’m hosting book club. Most of the group has seen him already but a couple haven’t so that will be fun. I’m still trying to decide what to make for dinner. I keep going back and forth between something fun and yummy and something easy, like frozen pizza. Keeping in mind that I’ll probably be one handed, a recipe that requires very much chopping or anything very “hands on” is going to be challenging. On the other hand, that’s part of the excitement of hosting book club! It sounds silly, but it’s true. We love to impress each other. I’m thinking something nutritious, like a confetti salad with grilled chicken.

That’s going to require a trip to the store and a lot of chopping! Well, I’ve always said that I do love a challenge. I can catch up on sleep on Friday, right? Or Saturday?

I now have a huge respect for my friends who have babies. Now that I realize how hard it is I think back at all the breakfasts that Melissa and I enjoyed at the bagel shop when Ty was just a week old (okay we started our weekly bagel breakfast date when he was 10 days old). I don’t know how she did it. She always showed up looking gorgeous. Hair curled, make up on… I don’t want to commit to being anywhere just because of the chance that I could possibly be getting a nap at that time and Reed is so unpredictable there! And make up? Forget about it! That happens about every other day… ish. Which explains my lack of appearances in pictures with him.

Before I wrap this up I do have to mention last Saturday, which was Mike’s half iron distance triathlon. We bought a dome shaped tent to set up so that Reed and I could spend the day out as hard core spectators. We got there at 6:45 am and left around 4:30 putting us at about 10 hours out at the lake. We had everything we needed and Reed was such a trooper! We alternated with the baby bjorn for a while, the sling for a while and under the tent for a while. Mike brought his camping cot so we even snuck in a nap. I felt empowered that I could still do something that was so important to me- support my husband. I really want Reed to be able to adapt to our lifestyle. I don’t want to disappear just because I had a baby. It’s important to me to still make it to races or other events as well as my Monday Night Taco date with the Harpers!!

Thank you for your patience, if you’ve made it all the way to this point I may have to wonder how many things you’re neglecting while reading this! Ha!