The one about "Dad"

Reed loves his dad.  This is one amazing phenomenon.  One of his first words was Dad.  He loves dad's hats, dad's shoes, dad's truck, dad's bikes.  He wants dad to put him to bed at night and wake him up in the morning. I'm not even exaggerating.  This morning Mike had an early flight out for a business trip and was gone before Reed or I woke up, so when Reed started to stir I went in, scooped him up and brought him back to bed with me for some snuggling.  He kept whispering in his sleepy voice, "Dad. Dad. Dad."  Then he'd snuggle for a few minutes before looking around the room and again whispering, "Dad? Dad? Dad?"  Even when I stopped at the grocery store yesterday after picking him up from school, I went around the car to get him out and as soon as I opened the door Reed was asking, "Dad? Dad? Dad?"
Last week when the car was in the shop, I was driving the truck so when I picked him up after work and he saw the truck parked outside he immediately perks up and shouts, "Dad!"
Nope, buddy. Just Mom.
At random times during the day when we are home together, he will stand at his bedroom window, which looks out at the driveway and call to Dad.  If only it were possible to just summon him like that, but it's not so he's stuck here with chopped liver.
Reed will bring dad's shoes out of the closet, place them on the floor in front of him, and try to get his feet in.  With some help this can be accomplished and Reed beams with pride because he's in dad's shoes at last!
It took nearly two months for him to use the word Mom and when he finally did, I melted like sugar in water.  Well, I melted when he finally used it in the correct context.  The first time his mouth formed the word "momma" he was reading his Lion King book and when he turned to the last page, he points right at a picture of Pumba splashing in the mud and says clear as day, "Momma!" This was just over two weeks ago, almost exactly two months after saying "Dad" (which feels like a year!)  If you haven't seen the video, click here.  I posted it on my youtube channel.  Shortly afterward he started using the word correctly.  I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I found it really interesting how Reed seemed to take my existence for granted (if that's the right way to put it).  He has a photo album that he flips through while sitting in his highchair and it has lots of family photos.  Besides Dad, one of his first favorites was "Uncle Coy", he liked trying to say the words and he would automatically flip to the page and point to my brother with a big smile. Then he started recognizing others.  You could ask him, "Where's Grandma? Where's Aunt Jessie? Where's Grams?" But if you asked him, "Where's Mom?" He would give a blank look as if I asked him the square root of 6351.  If I turned to a page with me on it and asked, "Who's that?" he would just turn the page to someone else who was apparently more interesting.  It was like I'm some kind of vampire that doesn't show up in photographs. I might as well have been pointing to blank space.
There are theories to explain this- He feels too close to me, more like a part of him than a separate person.  Some people say M's are harder to say than D's. Sure, but if my son can say "Cookie" then he sure as hell can say Mom.  Plus he says other M words, like "more". So, that theory is crap.
It doesn't matter anymore- for two weeks he's been saying Mom now, so I'm the happiest girl on the block.  When he wants me, he lets me know it.  Usually its when I'm in the bathroom.  I suppose being inaccessible is more appealing, because once I'm behind a closed door I hear the stomping of his little feet approaching and his "Mom! Momma! Mom!" Followed by the flip of the door handle and the bright, mischievous smile of my 15 month old staring right at me!

The one where I get cold feet

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose- by any other name would smell as sweet."
On the other hand, a name is a big deal.  A name is a lifetime commitment that we don't even get to choose for ourselves.  A name doesn't determine a personality, no, but it still sets some sort of tone for the person's image.

We will name this baby and it's not going to change who he is, I understand that. However, when we settled on the name Bryce, I thought it was the right choice because it was Mike's favorite. It wasn't my top name, but of course I did like it.  Mike and I often make decisions based on a point system.  He rates it on a scale of 1-10 based on how much he likes it or how important it is to him and I do the same.  Whoever out scores the other wins.  It's not a competition and we both play fair so that the system continues to work.  When deciding between two names we add our scores together and the top scoring name wins.  Mike's top choice out-scored mine and I wanted a name that we both liked.  

I also felt a very strong need to chose a name once they were sure it was a boy.  I had so many emotions tied up in the baby being a girl and it was hard for me to accept and connect.  I felt that if we named him and I could start calling him by it then he would become real and I could let go of the little baby girl in my head.  So maybe I was rushed into the name.  Maybe I should have given it more time.
Maybe I'm just having good old fashion cold feet about the whole thing because we are now two months out from the birth of this baby.  I have been perfectly fine calling him Bryce for almost three months now, so why the sudden doubt?  I know I only want two children, so maybe it's because this is the last name I will ever choose for a child, so I'm putting too much weight on it. 
Every time I tell myself that the name has been chosen and I should just stop thinking about it- I get a panicky feeling in my gut that shouts "NO!"  After a few days I realized I couldn't ignore it.
I felt terrible bringing it up to Mike. It felt so unfair to go back on my decision.  I'm not the only one naming this baby, of course, and he's grown very connected to the name.  Now I'm asking him to open his mind to more options again?  Unlikely story. 
What I know is that it suddenly felt wrong to call him Bryce. I imagined him running around the house, playing with Reed, laughing- and it wasn't Bryce.  One of my main issues is that I found a few people I know have named their daughters Bryce.  My boys need manly names. I don't want any hint of feminine quality to it.
But at one point I was completely fine committing to the name, so that's why I don't get why I'm having the cold feet.  This never happened with Reed.  I was one hundred percent committed to his name from minute we made the decision, which was about two weeks after we saw the positive on the stick.  The name felt right all the way to my bones.  Maybe it's unrealistic to think I could have that again, I know a lot of people struggle with names.  Many of my friends couldn't even name their baby until after birth because they needed to look into their baby's face.  I had never understood that, but now I'm beginning to see how names aren't so cut and dry all the time.  How they aren't so easily predetermined. 



I'm open to advice or comments if anyone wants to help me get through this!

The one where Reed gets a new bed

Our little Reedster is in the transition phase from crib to toddler bed and boy is he excited about it!  Our hope was to move him before he started climbing out of his crib.  He's had his bed now for over a week and sleeps in it for naps every couple of days.  If he is fighting the nap then he has to be in the crib because he's trapped and will eventually lay down.
On Thursday, Reed fell asleep in the car so I put him in his bed to nap.  After two and a half hours, I was in the office doing some homework and I heard the handle of his door turn and then the tiny shuffle of his feet.  When I saw him in the hallway my heart immediately melted into a puddle!  He had a smile spread across his face and his Tigger tucked into his arms as he toddled toward me.  I couldn't help but swoop to the floor to squeeze my tiny man in my arms.
Like I said, we are in transition, so we'll see how long it takes Reed to be officially moved over.  He sleeps on a small cot at school and does really well, usually 2+ hour naps.  I don't think it will be much longer before his crib is officially retired!

The one about forward facing

Who knew that turning your car sear around was such a touchy subject?  I didn't even really consider it a topic of conversation, in fact, with the majority of my friends I haven't even brought it up.
Most of my friends' kids are older than Reed, either by months or even a year, but not much more.  So most of my friends have turned their kids around and it wasn't an event that was announced to me.  Everyone makes their own decisions based on the information they are provided (or seek) and decide what is important to them.
For Mike and me, safety is a big one and there are certain things that deserve some risk assessment.  We did our research, considered the sources, and weighed our options.  As with most aspects of parenting, I will not outwardly judge people for not choosing the same as I do.  I will, however, reserve the right to judge them silently if I so chose!  Epidurals, breastfeeding, cloth vs disposables, starting solids, sleep training, etc.  These are all things that require proper assessment as well as lifestyle compatibility.
Based on some sources, experts recommend turning your child around in the car once they are agile enough on their feet to navigate a variety of changing terrain.  Yes, Reed is 100% eligible in that area.  Some experts note that at 12 months of age, the baby's spinal cord is finally the same length as the spinal column- the importance of this is that if the baby is forward facing and you're involved in a collision, then their head is thrown forward - which causes the spinal column to stretch beyond the elasticity of the spinal cord causing the spinal cord to snap.  A fatal result, and not worth it in my opinion.
The number one reason Mike and I are waiting to turn Reed around is just purely because it is safer.  Most collisions happen with the driver breaking or being hit from behind- causing that head to be thrown forward again.  However, a rear facing baby is pushed deeper into their car seat and avoids the risk of whip-lash.  Here we are halfway through November and entering the worst season for driving conditions.

The only drawback we have encountered is his dirty shoes on the leather seats.  Oh yes, and the space that it takes up in the car- preventing one of the front seats from being able to adjust back if the passenger needs more leg room.  This is how we feel about it right now, we are fortunate that Mike and I both agree on it (yay!) so when Reed's baby brother is born, and we have two car seats in the car, we'll probably turn Reed around then.
The point is, it surprises me when people see that Reed is still rear-facing and then I'm interrogated about it. I didn't comment when I noticed they turned their child around.  Trust me- I'm not one of those over-protective parents.  Spend 10 minutes with Reed and me and you'll see that.  He gets plenty of opportunities to harm himself in dangerous environments.  Close your eyes if you come to the park with us, because I promise you'll get nervous when you see the pregnant lady letting her toddler climb to the top of the playground!

The one about Mr. Deliberate

Reed is a man who knows what he wants. From what to snack on to what to play with, he makes each choice a conscious decision.  I’ve noticed over the last couple of months that he doesn’t accidentally end up in situations anymore.  He walks into a room with a purpose, he opens a toy bin with a specific need to fill and I almost think he’s thought through exactly what he’s doing next before he even takes a step. If Mike is lying on the floor, Reed will crawl on his back, saddle up, and expect a ride.  When he marches into the kitchen looking for me, he comes straight up to my legs, forces me to turn around so I’m facing him, looks me directly in the eye and says, “Puh! Puh!” Translated, this means “up, up”. Each day when I drop him off at school, he enters his classroom and within a couple of minutes he pulls out a chair at the table, sits himself in the seat, and slaps a hand on the table with a look that says, “Snack! Now, woman!”

He chooses a book and brings it to me or Mike, all the while babbling in his own language but asking if we’ll read it to him, then once he hands the book to us, he turns around and sits right into our lap.  Putting this down in black and white- it seems so small and insignificant, but it puts such a big smile on our faces.  There is such a difference between a time when we chose a book and sat him in our laps- it has turned around now, and Reed is the one initiating the activity.

For approximately the last week, he’s started loving on his stuffed animals.  He hugs his Tigger up to the side of his face and grins while I say, “aww, you love Tigger. That’s so sweet, Reed.”  He gets such a positive reaction from me for showing affection that he has continued to hug on all of his stuffed animals and blankets. Reed has never been into his lovey, a pony blanket named Chester, but he has started carrying him around.  It’s funny because it almost makes him seem more like a baby even though he’s doing it as a toddler and never did it as a baby.

As I’ve mentioned before, I love taking Reed to different activities and getting him involved. Part of this is because I love encouraging his social side and watching him interact with others.  I also love the opportunity to observe the differences in personalities.  Since Reed is my only child for the time being, I like to compare and evaluate his mannerisms and behaviors with other kids his age.  I have found that I am always satisfied with my assessment – if not just downright proud of my little man. He is tough, resilient, and easy going. During play groups he almost never throws fits or gets upset when someone takes a toy from him or knocks him down.  He does however take things from other kids, which I try to remedy by distracting him with something even better while returning the toy to it’s previous owner.  

Something I find interesting is that he explores things that other kids don’t even notice or care to consider.  For example, at the library during “Lapsit”, he will squeeze behind a toy shelf and when I peek at him he’s beaming.  It seems as though he just loves finding hidden places that no one else has explored.  During Gymboree last weekend, he was content playing away from the other kids for a little while, but also took a much greater interest in a large stuffed toy that the other kids hardly noticed.  Mike said the instructor encouraged the children to come up and feel the toy and play with it, but Reed was the only one who was interested.  I sometimes wonder if he does this sort of thing just for approval, so we will all be proud and praise him.  Smart boy.

The one where Reed gets a haircut (again)

Before- Reed's hair was getting pretty shaggy. His curls were adorable! This gives him that fun-loving, approachable, likeable guy look.  This is the guy who might lose your number and not call you back- but he'll charm his way back into your heart next time you run into him.

 

 After- Mr. Clean Cut.  This is business now.  He follows all the rules, goes after what he wants. Determined, loyal and a natural leader. Reed is searching for his career. He has four interviews lined up. He just needs to decide what to wear! 

 

The one about Halloween

I have to tell you about how fun Halloween was this year. I realized that I love this time of year because there are plenty of activities going on and lots of options for things to do. I’ve always loved festivals and parties and now I have someone to use an excuse to go!  

Reed’s school held their Halloween Party the Thursday before- complete with indoor games, food and a live band, followed by Trunk or Treating in the church parking lot. We hosted a trunk this year (first time) and quickly realized how expensive that can be! Although it was a chilly and rainy evening, the stream of children was non-stop.  They’re assuming the turnout was around a thousand kids and I believe it. We ran out of candy in 20 minutes and had to take donations from the party staff just to keep our trunk open.

Reed’s costume was a hit!  People couldn’t contain their adoration of my little UPS man and were falling all over themselves to tell us how cute he looked.

Our church Halloween party wasn’t any different, cameras were coming out of the woodwork to snap a picture of Reed dodging through the crowds.  He’s such a people person, loves to charm the ladies and draw smiles from them.  He enjoyed a couple of games including the duck pond, where he chose a duck and received a prize based on the number written underneath.  He also mastered the football bean bag toss- the game attendant showed him how to do it and once he got the concept, he was digging it and wanted to keep tossing the bean bags through the hole!  He also wanted to flip the board over to get the bean bags back after he’d watched them disappear.  

Reed turned into an expert trick-or-treater, we couldn’t get him to say the words until Monday night on his third attempt, but even then he would only whisper it.  

It was amusing watching him choose a piece of candy from a neighbor’s bowl and put it in his little UPS bag as he turned away and headed for the next stop.  He really had that part of the act down- we’ve all seen how efficient and no-nonsense UPS delivery men are!

Monday night we threw our annual Halloween Party which started with taking the littles around to the neighbors.  Unfortunately one family fell ill and couldn’t make it so only Reed and his friend, Luke, went collecting.  We had a great group that night though, with Keith and Cassie, Courtney and Daniel, and Josie and Matt (with Luke).  Each in their own way are very special friends and easily make our lives here in Oklahoma feel more complete.

The decorations, fantastic meal and wonderful company made it a comfortable and exceptional evening!

Reed and his buddy Luke

For more Halloween Pictures- check out my picasa web album! Click Here!