The one about my friends

Kelly and I were cracking up at Josie's new friends!

True love wasn’t such a hard find after all. Sure I had my share of dirtbags I had to sludge my way through, and I had my share of fun and kind people who helped me learn what I was really looking for in a man.  But, true love literally walked right into my cubicle at the tender age of 23, and delivered itself as easy as a piece of interoffice mail.

A best friend, however, seems to keep me searching.  A really good friend is a tough find.  I wonder why that is?  True, I have a nice circle of wonderful people in my life, and I don’t want to give any of them up.  But, I continue to search for that friend who will always have my back no matter what, who shares the same opinions and views on the big stuff and the little stuff, too.  A best friend that’s reliable and compatible with my personality.  I envy my friends who have such a person in their lives.  If it weren’t for these friends and their claims, I’d just throw in the towel right now and say that my idea of a best friend is an urban legend, a myth, a fairy-tale of the wickedest kind.  Perhaps it still is, perhaps the stories I hear are exaggerated and it’s a conspiracy against me.  Perhaps, most likely of all, it’s just that my expectations and standards for a best friend are too high, my parameters set too tight, and perhaps, just maybe, I drive away great friends because I think they’re just good friends and don’t accept them and the friendship for what it is.  Nah, I’m not considering that last part!

I'm slightly more pregnant than Josie ;o)

I’m an initiator.  Once I consider a person a friend, I’m the one who initiates the get-togethers almost 99 percent of the time. Sometimes I think I’ve accepted this and I’m okay with it, but really the truth is that if someone never invites me to do anything or asks me to hang out with them then eventually the natural conclusion is that they just don’t find my company worth the inquiry.  Right?  I mean, if I were that fun to be around, it would occur to them to invite me over instead of just waiting for me to ask and then accepting when the opportunity is convenient for them.  I want someone who wants to hang out with me. 

Like I said, I do have a little circle of nice friends.  I know they care about me and enjoy my company.  Kelly is also an initiator, and its wonderful to have someone who  is comfortable with both planning ahead and throwing out the spontaneous invite as well.  Our friendship is like a Z. It’s a zig zag of common interests and complete opposites.  Fortunately, there are enough similarities in the important areas to keep us coming back for more.  I know she fills a special place in my life and that space is reserved just for her.  I'm lucky to have Cassie in my life- she is generous with her wings and takes our family under them as if she owed it to us.  As if it were an obligation to her and Keith to accept us, but of course it's not, which makes the Christmas dinners and Superbowl parties all that more special.  As the quote goes, "friends are the family we choose for ourselves."

Josie taking Reed & Luke to pet the goats

   
I was so excited about my friendship with Josie and had such high hopes for a “best friend” status.   There are a couple of important factors that matched up so perfectly for us.  For one, we both have space in our lives for a good solid new friend.  Most of my friends here already have an existing friend-foundation andfar as to say Luke was Reed’s best friend. Besides being a mother, Josie and I are interested in the same activities. We’ve got cycling, running, swimming, triathlons, traveling, coffee, Mexican food, kiddie concerts, spray parks… okay this list go really go on. The point is, we can exchange tips, tricks and warnings. We can borrow, trade, and share gear. Our boys were getting so good at playing together that Reed was often requesting play dates at Luke’s house. I’d go so far as to say Luke was Reed’s best friend.

As Kelly put it, Josie was a staple in my life until two weeks ago when she packed herself up and ran away to Denver with Luke and her growing belly.  Her husband snatched up an opportunity to take a job in Denver where she’s from, and left us here abandoned.  . Give another couple-few years.  But no,  they opened that door, pulled the trigger, flew the coop!  It took multiple attempts to hold back the tears because the longer we talked about it and the more the reality of it set in, the more sad I got.  My friend! My Josie! Our friendship foundation had been poured and was starting to set!  We had something solid under us and I had to say goodbye to it. 

Our very last play-date was one big denial.  I kept telling her that I’d be stopping by later to drop off a gift for Luke.  A little going away present for the road trip, so I didn’t need to do my goodbyes yet.  Then when I did stop by that night, I just stood in the entry way with a plead at the tip of my tongue and the urge to beg tickling my knees.  Hands in my pockets, toes fidgeting in my shoes, eyes cast downward.   “Any chance I could talk you into staying?” I asked awkwardly.  If I had thought there’d be a chance that begging would have worked, I’d have tried it.  But, I know from experience that when you have to go, you have to go, even when you’re leaving behind people you care about.       

It’s been two weeks since the last time I saw Josie.  I miss her kindness and thoughtfulness.  She would stop for lattes on her way over to our house to play.  When Mike was out of town, she would invite us to hang out at her house for a long afternoon/evening play date.  She’d make dinner and we would eat together.  Another time when Mike was out of town and Bryce was just a newborn, she left Luke with Matt when he got home and came over to keep me company.  She stayed and held Bryce so I could put Reed to bed, and that was when I knew I had a true friend to count on.  Josie was always helpful. I try to pretend I have it all together.  Actually, I really try to have it all together!  I just don’t sometimes, and extra hands, extra eyes and extra snacks are as valuable as diamonds.  She was always so helpful and made outings easier on me.  Now I’m really starting to feel it.  Two weeks of doing it all on my own, I’m lucky I haven’t lost a child, or had one lose an eye or break a bone.  Its more and more temping everyday to just hole up inside for the next couple of years!!

What I want to say is, Josie I miss you.  I’ll do my best to replace you, but I doubt I’ll be successful!

The one about getting back on the sports wagon

I’m officially back on the wagon!  Two weeks ago I ran my first sanctioned 5k at the first annual “Riley’s Run”, which started at the school across from our neighborhood.  The course was too convenient not to participate, plus Mike was going to be pushing the jogging stroller instead of me- so how could I say no?  My goal was to finish under 30 minutes and not have to walk. I only made one of those goals. I ended up walking 4 times, but my speedy husband was pushing us too fast and that’s my excuse!  It was a great experience to run as a family, all four of us doing it together had the spectators and fellow runners cheering us on.  Most of the comments were for Mike- “That’s a real man!” I heard one lady say.  Others suggested that it was their turn to ride in the stroller.  I wish I had a picture from that day, but I chose not to buy the professional photo that was taken because they were charging $15 for a  4x6.  No thank you! 

I’ve been running at least twice a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays) with the boys in the stroller and biking … not much, but here and there.  I took them both in the trailer last week and I’m hoping they start to enjoy it more.  We made it a total of 6 miles in 30 minutes and about 15 of those minutes the trailer was wailing as it rolled over the hills and down the road.  It’s very distracting to a cyclist and not considered enjoyable!  Of course, each time I decided I couldn’t do it and was going to turn around, Bryce would settle in and stop crying.  Reed really did pretty well, considering he had a baby screaming directly in his ear. Not to mention Bryce’s tiny fists were flying up and hitting him square in the nose.

I’m signed up to participate in the Draper Duathlon this Sunday.  I haven’t competed in multisport since 09- the season before Reed was born.  I’ve done this course, so I know what to expect. The problem is, I was in the best shape of my life last time I competed and now I can barely run 30 minutes straight!  The course is 3k/20k/3k and its run/bike/run.  My goals are #1. Finish.  #2.  Not have to walk  #3. Not pee my pants in public.  #4 finish under 2 hours (this should be a sandbag goal, I should squash this time).  I’ll check back in with you about it next week. 

I’ve also signed up to compete in the Redman Olympic Distance Triathlon in September.  This is double the distance of any triathlon I’ve done before.  I remember at the end of my last tri season, the morning of Redman I was preparing for the race and thinking, “Why am I still doing sprints? I should be moving up and doing the Olympic distance. I’m such a sandbagger!”  However, an hour later, as I was flailing around in the water, trying to finish the swim, I reminded myself why.  “I am SO GLAD I didn’t sign up for the Olympic!” and again during the run. I couldn’t imagine running 6 miles and thanked my lucky sandbagging stars that I was only running 3.  Well, here I am, three years and two babies later signed up for this doubly butt kicking race.  Supposedly, muscle memory will kick in. That might have expired, actually. I’m pretty sure I’ll have to rely on good old fashion training.  Which, by the way, is cheating in my book.

I figure, if I know I’m doing the Olympic, registered, paid and planned. Then that’s what I’ll train for, right? Because the difference three years ago was I was always signing up and training for sprint distance. I can do it, because that’s what I’m planning on this time. Who cares if I’m getting older? What does that matter? What difference does being a mom make? This body created and delivered two babies!  Triathlons are just for fun- a hobby.  I should be able to make this happen.  

The one about Reed spelling & Bryce sitting

Bryce is just growing up so fast and getting so big! I can tell just from holding him that his body is becoming more muscular.  He’s so firm now, not that squishy infant body anymore.  He has a very cute thing that he does when he’s trying to soothe himself. He reaches up to the top of his head and plays with his hair.  As his fingers pull thru his tiny strands, his eyes will close and his body relaxes. He does this after an especially fussy little fit when he’s falling asleep in the crib, or when he’s drinking a bottle after getting really worked up.  I guess I’m just too slow getting that bottle made sometimes!

Over the weekend he improved so much strength and is starting to sit independently. Not only that, but he also is making forward motion in preparation to start crawling. He buries his face into the rug and scrunches his body so his butt goes into the air, like an inchworm he moves forward just a little at a time. I keep wondering how much more he is soaking up from the world because he’s got Reed around to learn from. They always say the second one learns faster because of that, but it seems impossible since Reed is so advanced!

Recently Reed decided he wanted to learn to spell.  He has known his alphabet for months, so logically the next step is spelling, right?  He focuses best in the car while he’s strapped down and in a confined space, so that’s where we started.  
I said to him, “Reed, what letters spell milk?” 
And then he repeated after me, “M-I…L-K” 
Then he said, “Mommy, spell Reed.”
So I say, “Okay, Reed. Say R… E-E…D” 
It was back and forth, over and over, he requested, 
“Mommy, spell Milk?  Mommy, spell Reed? “Mommy, spell Milk?  Mommy, spell Reed? Mommy, spell Baby Duck”

Wha???

It was so random and so completely hilarious as a result.  Mike and I both cracked up.  I thought the next word might be something like: truck, bike, Daddy… any of his favorite words.  But, Baby Duck?? 
When I tried to get  back to Milk or Reed, he insisted! “Mommy, spell baby duck?!?”

Since then, and it’s been about two weeks, he occasionally goes through the same requests,  “Mommy, spell Milk?  Mommy, spell Reed? Mommy, spell Baby Duck” 
He’s hilarious.

He’s also started adding “Okay!” to his requests.  This is how it’s evolved. Let’s say he wants milk (because that’s about 90% of the time) after he learned the word he used to say, “Milk! Milk! Milk, pease!” Then it became “Milk, pease!? Yes?” (most likely because we would say, you want milk? Yes?) then we would say, “Okay! I’ll get you some milk!”  So now it’s, “Milk, pease? Yes? Okay! Milk!” He has a whole conversation with himself!  This also applies to “Outside play? Yes? Okay! Outside play!” Or “Watch news? Yes? Okay! Watch news!”  The best part is that the question part is a little whiny but when he gets to the “Okay!”, he perks right up!  He loves watching the news with his Daddy in the mornings.  He gets a cup of his milk and snuggles in. Life doesn’t get any better.  Besides, the news has all his favorite things- ambulances, police cars, fire trucks, helicopters…  He will decide he wants to watch the news at any given moment during the day.  Its quite problematic when the news isn’t on.  Try explaining that to a 22 month old.  Bryce is a little TV addict already.  It’s really tough to try to keep him faced away from it since Reed and Dad get to watch TV.  Reed wasn’t allowed to watch TV (with the exception of a little football on Sunday) until he was 15 months, and that was only because he was sick and we bought the movie Cars for him to watch while lying on the couch.  So here Bryce is, not even 6 months old and we’ve still got almost a year of trying to keep the TV either turned off around him or out of his line of sight.  Good luck with that, right?  

We’re supposed to try to enforce the same timing constraints on the second child as we did the first?  And so it begins.  The second child always gets earlier exposure, “adjusted” rules, and basically ends up growing up quicker.  Luckily, this early on, Reed will never know how unfair it all is!
Reed’s got all kinds of thoughtful sentences
Bryce is awake
Bryce is sleeping
Bryce is sad
Bryce is smiling
 Yesterday he took a diaper out to the garage and threw it away without me asking and when he came back he was beaming, “Reed threw diaper away, garbage!” There is always some mumbling in between his key words in a sentence.  He knows there are some connecter words and extra “fluff” that we adults add, so he tries to add it as well.  Its adorable. His brain is so logical.  He will talk to me for 20 minutes straight on the way to and from school about who he will play with and what he will do, or what he did do if it’s afternoon. 

 He told me last Friday that he “painted dinosaurs with Rylan.”  I asked what colors he used and he said, “Orange. And… blue.”

I wish you could see Bryce's face better- its the best!

He loves Bryce and one of my favorite things is watching them play in the backseat of the car.  Reed will peak at Bryce, who is obviously rear-facing, and Bryce will just light up at him- which cracks Reed right up! It’s clear how much Bryce already looks up to Reed.  He sees Reed’s face and immediately turns into the happiest boy in the world.  They are so lucky to have each other!