The one where we had a big fire drill

Last week was very eventful.  Reed and I were home on Tuesday just minding our own business and going about our day. As I was feeding him lunch I noticed the sky turning a strange brownish orange color and that's when I started getting texts and facebook messages about the fire.  This fire started burning about 4 miles south of us and was rapidly approaching.  I kept telling myself that they were going to get it put out or under control any time and didn't think it was necessary for Mike to come home from work at first.  However, since we were in the direct line of fire, eh hem, it became apparent that our actions needed to reflect worse case scenario and at least be prepared as much as we could.  Just before Mike made it home a patrol car came through our neighborhood and told us that we were under voluntary evacuation. We weren't mandatory yet, but he said that we might as well head out before it go to that point.
I spent a total of about 2 hours gathering and packing our belongings.  We took everything that we could fit into both our vehicles.

I assume most everyone has had the discussion, "if our house was on fire- what would we grab on the way out?"  Well, I will reassure you by saying that list is pretty short and will actually fit in a pile on the passenger seat of your car.  The hard part is when you have two vehicles worth of space that you can fill and you have the time to do it, too.  I had two of our largest suitcases opened on the floor and just felt the space staring at me... daring me really.  Threatening me to fill it with "valuables" things I can't live without. All I could do was wander around from room to room asking myself, is this important enough to take?  Everything seemed so significant and yet at the same time everything seemed so insignificant.  Don't ask me how that works.  After the laptop, ipad, cameras, chargers, legal documents and certificates, external hard drive, jewelry, memory cards and identification papers were collected I was stumped.
I tried to make decisions based off the idea that we might be living in an apartment while we rebuild.  What will make life easier? What will be the most helpful?  Pizza slicer... ice cream scoop.  We might as well have these things, I mean, we're going to have to replace them if we don't take them... yet we have perfectly good utensils right here.
I packed snacks.  Fruit snacks, applesauce and granola bars. I packed clothes and underwear- this when I realized how much of my underwear I actually hate.  Trust me, there's room for underwear and it's easier if you can just grab a couple handfuls and toss them in, but I only wanted specific pairs of underwear.

Yes, I was emotional.  I was bleary eyed as I put illogical things together in my bags.  When Mike got home, I felt much better.  A calm had settled over the house and the environment had changed from frantic-emotional and nonsensical to a calculated, strategic business operation.  We efficiently made progress together and rational decisions came easily.  He was my rock in the middle of the white water river.  I flung myself out of the rapids and onto his smooth surface where I could sit and watch the chaos around me and not be afraid anymore.
I know that among many other things this is what makes our marriage work.  We fill each other's voids.
Once we had both vehicles packed we made our journey to the Harper's house.  I have to tell you, it was really hard to back out of the driveway.  I almost couldn't make myself do it.  Memories were playing through my mind, emotions pouring over me.  I found myself rolling backwards and watching the space between the house and the car grow and feeling very numb.  At some point I knew I had to snap myself out of it and just move forward.
Our good friends, Keith and Cassie, kept us company while we all watched the news that evening until we gave up and went to bed.  We could only hope that our house was still standing when the sun rose the next morning.  Its obvious now that it was and even tho our house survived the night and we were past the worst of it, the next couple days were a roller coaster of continued flare ups all around our home.  Wednesday I was coming home from work and saw the smoke pouring over Hefner rd, which is the road we live off of.  As I got closer, it appeared the smoke was pouring out of our neighborhood and I was just glad that we hadn't unloaded the cars.  The news channels were reporting the fire location as one mile east of us and the firefighters were on it like blue bonnet.
That night when I got home from school it was dark and I could see the light of the flames pulsing over the rooftops as I neared our house.  Mike and I stood out in the yard and just watched as the fire surged and ebbed as tho it had a heartbeat.  My mom sent me a text with a message from my sister.  She said she had a spare room that wasn't on fire.  Undoubtedly a generous offer, even if the room is in Wyoming.  Finally after day three we unpacked the cars and felt safe to say we weren't going anywhere.
Bless those firefighters who fought so hard to keep our homes and neighborhoods safe.  They worked long days in extreme conditions.  It was already 105 degrees outside and they were out in their full protective gear working right up next to the fires and battling the smoke.  It went on for days and we wondered if they would ever get a break.
I think about my mental and emotional state during this time and I think about the people who did lose their homes last week.  I can only relate to the preparation part, but I can't relate to the end result.  The acceptance that their houses are gone.  How very sad.  But of course, like everyone keeps telling me- at least we are all safe.